Privilege
by blairstory
Summary: "You ever heard of spousal privilege?" Will asked. "Simple, really. You marry my brother so you don't have to testify against him and I'll write you a check for 50,000. How about it?" Linstead AU
1. Part I

I know some of you are thinking 'another story really?' But again this idea wouldn't leave my head and somehow this whole thing have written itself. It was supposed to be an one-shot-supposed to be-but it just grew out of control and it became way way way longer than intended so I had to break it up into parts. But I hope you guys enjoy this anyways.

* * *

"Erin, table 7 needs the check."

"Okay, thanks Kim." Erin wiped her hands on her apron and reached into the pocket to pull out the tab. She made her way over to table 7, just eager to get the table the bill so they could leave already. The table was occupied by a group of twenty-somethings, obvious hipsters, judging by the clothes and the fake reading glasses they had on their faces and Erin wanted to do nothing more than wipe those smug smiles off of their faces. They had been a nightmare to serve, thinking it was a Starbucks with unlimited wi-fi instead of a run-down diner.

"Here you go," she put on her best fake smile, hoping for a tip. She had put up with them enough, she deserved a tip. She needed it, if she was going to get any closer to actually starting that nursing course. Otherwise, she'd be rotting away the rest of her life at this diner. And there was no way that was happening, not if she could help it. The girl that seemed to be the leader of the little friend group took out her credit card. "Oh sorry, cash only."

The girl scoffed, as if it was unfathomable. "Seriously? What kind of place is this anyway? No wi-fi, no credit card. You guys need to get out of the 20th century and get into the 21st."

Erin bit her tongue. "I'll suggest that to the manager." The girl just rolled her eyes, plopping down $100 bill on the tray. "I'll be back with your change."

"No need. Keep it," the girl told her. "Maybe put it towards getting wi-fi. Or maybe a better looking uniform." The group giggled as they left. Erin wanted to throttle them and if it was years ago, she would've. Instead she just gritted her teeth and thanked the god that they were gone. At least she got a good tip out of the ordeal.

She stalked over to the cashier. "God, I hate people," she whined. "This diner used to be all Veterans and old people. The worst people we had to deal were grumpy old men. Now it's all filled with hipster kids who suddenly think it's cool to hang out in old diners then bitching when they find out we don't have internet here."

"Now you sound like an old man," Kim teased, laughing at Erin's rant. "Hipsters may be annoying and pretentious and all in all, just big assholes but at least they tip well. The best tip we've ever got from the older crowd was rolled up quarters or handful of lint and pennies."

Erin shrugged, conceding to Kim's point. "You're right about that."

Kim paused, looking like she wanted to ask Erin something. Erin's eyebrow rose, recognizing what was about to come. "Yes?"

Kim gave her a sheepish smile. "It's just that Adam got tickets to this show that had been sold out for ages. And it's for tonight and it just happened to be the one night where I got scheduled the graveyard shift."

"And you want to me cover for you."

"Please?!" Kim begged, pouting her lips. "You know graveyard shifts pay double. And I will owe you big time."

Erin stayed quiet, like she was thinking it over, wanting to see Kim sweat for a bit. "Okay fine," she agreed, finding herself being engulfed in a huge hug by her friend. "But you owe me!"

"Totally. Thank you!" Kim squealed and Erin just chuckled. At least one of them would be having fun. It wasn't as though Erin had a boyfriend or money to spare on concert tickets. Besides working double shift meant that she was one step closer to saving up enough money. She couldn't wait to get out of this grimy diner.

* * *

"Big plan for the rest of the night?" The cook, Marty, asked her as she wiped the last table. It was past two in the morning and it was finally the end of her shift. All she wanted to do was to soak her feet and just plant herself in front of her television and just pass out.

"Oh yeah," Erin replied. "Leftover and Netflix. My version of Netflix and Chill."

The older man looked confused. "Netflix and what?"

Erin laughed. "You don't want to know, Marty. How about you? Big plans?"

"Just my big old bed waiting for me. Like every night." Marty put on his jacket and approached Erin. "You know Erin. My plan is the same every night and it's fine for me because I'm an old man now. But you? You're a young woman. You should be getting out on town, having fun. Maybe even have a gentleman caller or two."

"Gentleman caller?" Erin chuckled. "Thanks Marty but there are no more gentlemen these days. Besides, I like being alone. Less problem this way." Marty just shook his head, his umpteenth lecture on Erin needing to find someone and have more fun in her life falling on deaf ears, once again. "Have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye sweetheart." Erin led him out the door. Now she was the last one left. She put away the trays, made sure all the stoves and ovens were turned off for the night and turned off the lights. She locked the front door of the diner and made sure the sign was flipped over to "Closed".

Her feet were aching now. She really needed to get more supportive shoes, even if she was going to doing more of these double shifts and judging by how serious Kim's relationship with Adam had gotten over the past few weeks, Erin had a feeling that double shifts were going to be more of a common occurrence.

She put on her jacket and gloves and slung her purse over her shoulder and made to exit through the back door. Autumn was just about over and winter was fast approaching, which meant that the deadline to save enough money was even closer. She tried to push away that thought, she really didn't want to be focused on her money problems every chance she got. Marty was right, she really needed to have more fun in her life.

She made sure the door was locked and started to walk to her car, parked a few feet away from the alley. Perhaps she should have been more scared, walking through the alley in Chicago's Southside at two in the morning all by herself. And if she didn't grow up in Southside or had lived there for her whole life, she would've. But her upbringing had readied her for situations like this and she was used to it by now. Even the occasional drunkard stumbling through the alley or the few losers that liked to hang out in the back alleys cat-calling her wasn't enough to shake her.

But just because she wasn't scared didn't mean she was stupid. She held her keys in between her fingers, pointed and ready to be used as a weapon if she needed to. Luckily, so far she hadn't needed to. But as she heard shouts and what sounded like shoves being thrown coming from a few feet away, maybe it'd be the night she might needed to.

She paused in her tracks, debating whether she should go back inside the diner until the two drunk guys finished whatever they were fighting about or just run as fast as she could to her car, hoping they didn't see her. She knew the smarter option was to go back inside the diner where it was safe but as she checked her watch, it was already past two thirty in the morning and she had an early shift the next day. She really wanted—no, needed—to be home so she decided to make a run for it.

She clutched her purse to her chest, picking up her pace, trying her best not to make eye contact with the two guys. She rolled her eyes at the two guys, obviously drunk out of their minds, acting like asses. Didn't they have better things to do with their lives than get in sloppy fights in back alleys? Apparently not as she saw the fight getting more intense, shoves being turned to actual punches being thrown now.

"Fuck you! Just because your daddy's rich you think you can do anything?! Not here, not in South side." She overheard one of the guys shouted, throwing the first punch, landing it square on the other guys' jaw. The other guy was obviously the more drunker of the two, his eyes were glazed over like he didn't even know where or who he was, just wildly swinging his arms in retaliation, punches not even being landed on his opponent. Erin wanted to laugh but she didn't have a death wish so she just continued walking, hoping that they wouldn't notice her.

"Go back to your side of the town Halstead!" the first guy continued his rant. "Go back to your high rise tower condo and your mansion and leave my girlfriend alone." Erin rolled her eyes. Of course, they were fighting over a girl.

"I don't even want your girl," the guy apparently named Halstead slurred. "She came onto me! Can you blame her though? Look at me." He smirked before receiving another punch on his face. Whatever pretty face he might have had wouldn't be there tomorrow, Erin thought. "I have it all!" Halstead continued. "Money, looks, everything. If I want your girl, I'll get your girl. She'll come begging for me, begging me to fuck her." That was enough to completely set the other guy off and he charged at Halstead, knocking him straight on the ground. The guy straddled him, throwing punches everywhere, Halstead shielding himself as best he could in his state. Then the guy got off and stood up, pulling Halstead with him and pushing Halstead against the wall.

"Want to run your fucking mouth again?" the guy asked him and Halstead just smirked.

"Just one more thing to say," Halstead replied, leaning his head forward like he was about to divulge a secret. "Your girl said I was the best fuck she'd ever had."

Erin figured this Halstead guy had a death wish or something, saying something like that to who was obviously part of a gang. Although in this part of the town, who wasn't affiliated with a gang? But Halstead was obviously wasn't from this part of town, judging by the expensive looking watch and clothes he was wearing. Erin quickened her pace, ready to make a run for it when she suddenly saw the first guy pull out a gun from the back of his pocket. Her eyes widened and she just quickly hid behind a couple of crates to her left, hoping they wouldn't notice her. Getting caught in the crossfire and getting shot wasn't in her plans for the night. She remained silent, peeking out to see what was happening.

The guy had his gun pointed at Halstead and cocked it. Now Halstead finally seemed to sober up a bit, staring down at the barrel of a gun. _'Finally!'_ Erin thought to herself. Halstead reached out and tried to grab the gun and the two men fell to the ground, both shuffling for it. She covered her mouth, not knowing what to do, just praying that she'd make it out of this alive and no one got hurt.

The struggle on the ground continued between the two guys, Halstead on the ground as the other guy was on top of him, trying to aim his gun at the defenseless guy.

"Come on, don't do this!" Halstead shouted, trying to fight him off.

"Now you're fucking scared, rich guy? You're going to learn your lesson today to not come to the South side, thinking you own it." The other guy yelled, ready to shoot. Erin saw Halstead trying to dodge the gun, all while trying to get the other guy to release it. They grappled on the ground and the next thing Erin knew, a shot went off. Erin gasped then quickly covered her mouth, praying that they didn't hear her.

They didn't, too engrossed in what just happened to notice her presence there. Erin peeked back out, seeing the guy on the ground, bleeding from his arm and Halstead hovering over her, face frantic and panicked.

"Shit!" she heard Halstead shout, taking off his jacket to put pressure on the wound. "Fuck!" The other guy was writhing in pain, crying out. "What the hell do I do?" Halstead was mumbling to himself. He pulled out his phone to call someone. "Mouse! I need your help! I don't know what to do man! Just get here!" he shouted into the phone and threw it to the side. "Come on, don't die on me!" Halstead said to the guy on the ground, pressing more pressure on it.

Erin didn't know how long it took—felt like just seconds to her—but a new guy ran onto the scene.

"Mouse!" she heard Halstead called the new guy over. "I need your help!"

Mouse's eyes widened, seeing the wounded guy on the ground. "Fuck Jay! What the hell happened?!"

"I don't….I don't know," Jay stammered. "He followed me from the bar and cornered me here. We were fighting and he pulled out a gun man!" The guy, _Jay, _explained to his friend. "He tried to kill me so I kept dodging his gun and I don't know, the next thing I know he fired a shot! He accidentally shot himself!"

"Okay okay, just calm down a bit," Mouse said, trying to calm his friend down. "We got to call the cops man. Get him to the hospital."

"I'm gonna be in so much shit," Jay muttered.

"It's going to be fine Jay," Mouse returned. "Let me call Will okay? I'll get him here." Jay just nodded as Mouse took out his phone and called whoever this Will was. "Will, it's Mouse. You got to help man. It's Jay and it's bad."

Erin wanted to get out of there right away, before she got caught up further and the police arrived. She definitely didn't want to be here for that. She took a deep breath and stood up, coming out of hiding.

Mouse and Jay immediately went on the alert, noticing her presence. "Who's there?" Mouse shouted. Erin slowly showed herself. "Come out! Show yourself!"

Erin held her hand up, hoping to show that she wasn't a threat to them. "Who are you?" Mouse questioned, standing in front of Jay like he was protecting him from her.

"I'm no one," Erin replied. "I just want to get home. Okay?"

"Where'd you come from? Why were you hiding behind there?"

"I'm just a waitress that works in that diner. I was just trying to go home. I'm not involved in this okay? Just let me go home."

"How much did you see?" Mouse questioned, eyes studying her like she was on trial.

"Dude!" Erin shouted. "I promise you, I don't want to get involve here. I just want to get home. So let me go and pretend I was never here. Alright?" He didn't reply, looking like he was debating on what to do. "I'm going to just go, alright." Erin tried, slowly walking past until she got past them and she just ran off, leaving whatever mess she just witnessed behind her.

Why did she always seem to get herself in these things?

* * *

"What the fuck happened Mouse?" Will arrived breathless, worry mounting at finding a disheveled Jay leaning on the wall, hands gripping his hairs tightly and Mouse hovering over a guy on the ground, putting pressure on what looked like a gunshot wound.

"Jay got in a fight with this guy and this guy got a gun and accidentally shot himself. I was going to call the cops but I figured I needed to call you first and see how you want to handle this."

Will rubbed his face, frustrated at the mess Jay had gotten himself into again this time. He paced back and forth, weighing his option. "We got to call the medic. So at least this guy doesn't bleed out to death and bring murder charge to us. Let the police handle it."

Mouse agreed, letting Will take control of the situation. He knew that Will would do whatever it took to protect his little brother, even if Jay didn't appreciate it at times. "Do your thing man."

* * *

Half an hour later, the scene was cleaned up and the guy was put on the ambulance, ready to be taken to the hospital. The police that answered the call was still there, questioning Jay on what happened.

"So you're telling me he accidentally shot himself Mr. Halstead?" The officer sounded skeptical.

"Yes! That's what I've been trying to tell you for the last thirty minutes!" Jay shouted, frustrated with the repeated questions. "We were arguing and he pulled a gun on me. I didn't want to get shot so I dodged his gun and we fell on the ground. He was on top of me and…"

"Okay okay Jay," Will interrupted, stopping Jay from answering any more questions. "My brother's not answering any more questions without his lawyer." Will told the cop.

"You know asking for a lawyer just makes your brother look more guilty right?" The officer replied. Will crossed his arms, straightening up.

"I don't think having an officer who wants to continue questioning a victim without a lawyer present is the type of officer I want for my brother," Will returned. "Now are we done here? My brother needs to be checked out by the medics. See if he got hurt when the other guy pulled a gun on him." The officer relented, demanding that Jay had to answer questions later. "Absolutely. We'll come by the station later with our lawyer and answer any questions." The officer gave in, nodding before leaving.

"Everything's okay?" Mouse walked over and asked.

Will sighed, getting a headache at the situation. "Let's hope so. I got to make some calls. Get Rosenblatt on retainer for Jay and make sure Antonio can get himself on the case for this. Thanks, Mouse. For calling me."

Mouse waved it off. "Of course. Anything for Jay." He made to leave. "Hey do me a favor? Keep me in the loop?" Will nodded. "Thanks man. Call me if you need anything."

Will watched Mouse leave and turned to Jay who was sitting on the edge of the ambulance. Will had never felt like both punching someone and hugging them all at the same time before. "Come on, get in the ambulance," Will called. "Maybe they can do a head scan at the hospital too after they check you out. Find out why you're missing so many brain cells recently."

* * *

"Hey Mouse," Will said into his phone, surprised that Mouse had managed to wait a few hours before calling for an update. "Yeah he's fine, physically. Sleeping off his hangover like usual."

"That's good," Mouse said on the other end of the phone. "What about everything else? With the police?"

"Antonio came through," Will said. "Apparently he said since it's pretty much Jay's words against the gangbanger's and the gun obviously belonging to the other guy, it looks good for Jay. There were no security cameras in the alley and no witness so it's pretty much a straightforward case. They'll try to bring charge against Jay for the fight but the lawyer said it's pretty much open and shut and Jay will get off scot free, maybe a fine but that's pretty much it. And the other guy is going to be fine. Doctor said he'll make a full recovery. I'm going to cover his medical expenses and just hope everything can be left behind."

Mouse remained quiet on the other side, causing Will to frown. "Mouse? You there?"

"Um yeah," Mouse finally replied, a strange tone coloring his voice. "Yeah. Listen, what's going to happen if there was a witness?"

"What do you mean?"

"Hypothetically, if a witness saw the fight go down between Jay and that guy, what would happen?"

Will chuckled. "You mean you? In that case, I'm hoping you keep that fact to yourself. The lack of witness and evidence is just going to make this case finish faster and if there was a witness, it might complicate things. Might even drag out the case, especially if they ask the witness to testify."

"Oh shit," Will's frown appeared again at hearing Mouse's curse.

"Mouse, what's going on?"

Mouse cleared his throat. "It's just…there was a witness last night. Not me, someone else."

Will's frown deepened at the new information. "Who?"

"I don't know her. She said she was a waitress that worked at the diner of that alley. She was on her way home when she saw the fight and she was hiding."

"Shit!" Will cursed. "If the cops find out that she was there and saw the fight, they might bring her in to the case and make her testify."

"She said she didn't want any trouble though. That she just wanted to get home."

Will sighed, rubbing his face in frustration. "I can't take the chance that a random stranger will keep her mouth shut. I got….I got to do something. You said she was a waitress at the diner?"

"Yeah."

"Describe how she looks to me." Will demanded.

"Um, petite, brunette, white. Oh and she had dimples."

"Alright, thanks again Mouse. I'll take care of it."

"Wait," Mouse called. "What are you going to do?"

Will sighed. "Shut her up. Anyway I can."

* * *

Erin yawned for the third time in the past ten minutes, eyes drooping with sleepiness. But she had just started her shift a couple of hours ago and she still had a long way to go. After what happened last night, she had a hard time falling asleep, her heart racing too fast for a restful slumber, and she was certainly paying for it today.

"Rough night?" Kim asked, noticing the state she was in. Erin just nodded, not really having energy to do much else. "What'd you do?"

"Nothing," Erin quickly replied. "I mean…it's just the double shift. It got me."

An apologetic look came over Kim's face. "Sorry, Erin," Kim offered. "But really thanks again for covering for me." Erin waved her thank off, happy to cover for her friend. Besides she thought it was better that it was her that ran into what happened last night instead of Kim. Kim wasn't Erin, Kim was sheltered and grew up in the good part of town. The only reason why she was even working at the same diner as Erin was so she could have flexible hours and the diner was far from where she lived. According to Kim, there was no way she'd be caught in that outfit anywhere close to where she lived, where her friends could see her. Kim was about to say something else but her eyes caught on someone else. "Wow," she said, almost in awe. "Look at that guy who just walked in. He must be lost."

Erin turned to see who Kim was talking about, her eyes landing on a tall guy walking in, looking around the diner like it was something he had never seen before. He seemed handsome enough, although not really Erin's type, and he just reeked of money, the way he carried himself like he could buy everyone and everything in that diner. He sat down at an empty booth and glanced around, eyes landing on her and Kim.

"That's you," Kim said, shoving a menu in Erin's hands. "I already have Adam so that tall, ginger and handsome have to be for you." Erin rolled her eyes, Kim always ready to set Erin up with someone, and made her way over to the newcomer.

"Here you go," she smiled, showing her dimples. People always tended to tip bigger when she smiled wide enough for her dimples to appear. "Can I get you started with something to drink?"

"Um," the guy replied, studying her closely. She frowned, irritation building inside of her at the way this guy was openly gawking at her. She gave him a glare and it snapped him out of his upclose study of her. "Oh sorry," he said, sheepishly. "Just water for now, please."

Erin walked away, grabbing an empty glass for the weirdo. She filled up the glass and made her way back, placing the glass gently on the countertop table. "Are you ready to order?"

The guy scanned the menu quickly, like he knew what he was looking for. But Erin knew for a fact that he didn't, that it was his first time there. He stood out in a diner like this and she just knew for sure that he had never been there before. "Actually," he said, closing the menu and placing it down on the table. "I didn't come here for the food. I came here to talk to you."

"Me?"

"Yes you," he replied, smoothly. He gestured over to the empty side of the booth. "Can you sit down for a minute?" She looked hesitant. "Please just a minute."

She reluctantly sat on the empty booth, wondering just what this man wanted with them. He finally spoke. "Erin," he said, reading her name tag. "Pretty name."

Erin rolled her eyes. "Just cut the crap and tell me what you want."

"My friend told me that you were in the alley last night when that fight happened." Erin's eye widened, wondering how the hell he knew that she was there.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she quickly denied.

"Erin, relax. My name is Will Halstead and that was my brother that was involved in the fight." Erin recalled the name Halstead and studied the guy sitting across from her. From what she remembered about the drunk guy last night, she could see the family resemblance between the two brothers.

"Listen, like I told that guy, Mouse? Is that really his name?" Will chuckled, shaking his head. "Anyway like I told him, I don't want to get involve. I was never there and we'll just leave it at that." She made to get up and Will stopped her.

"I wish it was that easy," Will quickly replied. "But my connection at the police station told me that they're bringing charges to Jay for drunk and disorderly. They're also investigating about the gun and how the other guy got shot."

"Your brother didn't shoot him. It wasn't his gun. The other guy shot himself."

"Yes but I'm hoping to avoid any trouble or delay with the case and if they find out that there was a witness, it could complicate what is now an open and shut case. Not to mention, they will come after you, maybe even make you testify."

"I don't want to get dragged into this. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Will nodded. "I understand. Erin, I'm going to be straight with you here. My family's business, Halstead Enterprises, we're about to sign a major deal and the last thing we need is bad press about anyone in the family, especially Jay. I just want to make sure everything about this case go as smoothly as possible."

"What? You guys are famous or something? Like Paris Hilton?"

Will laughed. "No. No," he quickly denied. "We're not famous. At least not like that. But because of our business holdings, we do run in a pretty small exclusive circle."

Erin nodded. "All the millionaires and billionaires of Chicago hang out together?"

"Only for business," Will replied. "As I was saying, I just want this thing to close with no problem."

"Okay, can't you just pay off someone in the police department or the judge like I'm sure you usually do?"

Will chuckled uncomfortably. "I guess it's a fair assumption to make. And I won't lie. That's usually how I would handle this."

"But?"

"But there's this new A.D.A and he's bloodthirsty. Believe me I've tried but he's straight as they come. Won't accept a dime."

Erin sighed. "Will, while it's nice to hear that there is actually a person working for the government that isn't dirty, I know you didn't come here to tell me that. And I have to get back to work so just tell me, why are you here?"

"You ever heard of something called spousal privilege?" Will asked. Erin shook her head. "It's this great law that this country have where spouses can't testify against each other."

"Okay?" Erin replied, wondering why this guy was giving her a lesson in law. "What does it have to do with me?"

"Simple, really. You marry my brother so you don't have to testify against him and I'll write you a check for $50,000. How about it?"

* * *

Erin sat down on her couch, her hand holding the business card Will handed to her earlier in the day. His offer was weighing on her mind, despite how out of blue it was. She knew that the guy from the fight last night was rich but she had no idea that he was this loaded. Loaded enough to throw $50,000 at a random stranger so they wouldn't testify in their case.

To say she was taken aback by the sudden offer was an understatement. She was offended at first, ready to tell this guy off for thinking that he could just throw money at her and she'd do whatever he'd say. But he had calmed her down, explaining that he just wanted to protect his brother and didn't mean to offend her. She had regained her breath more at that and really began to consider his offer. It wasn't the worst offer in the world, she thought. She didn't want to be involved with the case at all but she knew that it'd be easy to link her back to the case if the cops looked hard enough. Hell, all they'd have to do was question the manager who was working that night and who had the closing shift and it'd lead to her. And what was she supposed to do if the cops came knocking on her door? Lie? Say she wasn't there and she had no idea what they were talking about? She couldn't so she'd eventually be roped into the case anyway.

If she accepted Will's offer, it wouldn't matter that she was a witness, that she saw the whole fight. They wouldn't make her sit through the court proceedings, wouldn't make her testify. She wouldn't be able to. Not if this Jay was her husband. Besides it wasn't as though he was guilty. She saw the fight. She saw the other guy pull a gun on Jay when he was drunk and defenseless. She saw them toppled onto the ground and she saw the other guy accidentally shoot himself. Jay was innocent so it wasn't as though she'd be protecting a criminal.

And there was no way she could ignore the $50,000. That might have been just a couple of loose change to Will but it would be life changing money for her. She'd finally have enough to pay for the nursing courses that she'd been trying to save up for forever and actually start on a path of a career, a real career and start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel that she could get out of South side and not be a waitress at a crappy diner for the rest of her life.

But of course, the downside was that she'd be marrying a stranger. A strange man whom by the looks of last night was pretty messed up. A stereotypical rich boy. Good looking, womanizer, reckless. Could she really deal with that?" Deal with him daily for at least six months to make the marriage look legitimate? Questions ran through her mind but she had to admit to herself that she was at least curious to hear Will out so she picked up her phone and dialed Will's number, taking up on his offer to go more in depth of the situation.

* * *

"Thanks again for meeting with me, Erin," Will smiled at her as she sat down in his office, Jay sitting next to her. "Jay, this is Erin. Erin, this is my brother Jay. You two have already met, sort of." Erin just gave Jay a tight smile, not really knowing how to interact with a stranger that she might marry. Jay just returned a half nod at her, like he couldn't bother to be there and had a better place to be. "I'm hoping that since you called, you've thought about my offer and want to take me up on it?"

"Wait? What offer?" Jay asked, frowning. Erin just looked at Will, unable to believe that he hadn't told his brother about the offer. He was blindsiding his brother and she was a part of it.

"Jay, Erin was a witness to the fight."

Jay narrowed his eyes, staring at her. Then his eyes widened like a light bulb went off in his head. "Oh yeah, I knew I've seen you before. I sort of remember you being there."

Erin wanted to roll her eyes. Of course, he only sort of remembered her. He was drunk out of his ass and was acting like an idiot. But she bit her tongue, having second thoughts about being there. The money sounded nice but could she put up with being married to him for six whole months? She had barely been in the room with him for six minutes and she was already annoyed by his everything.

"Anyway Jay, we know we have to make sure the case is closed before we can close the deal with the Applegates. And the fastest way to make sure the case is closed is to make sure that there are no witnesses or testimony that could drag the case out. So I've offered Erin here $50,000."

"$50,000 for what?" Jay frowned. "To keep her mouth shut?"

"No, I wish it was that easy." Will sighed. "It's so she would marry you and won't have to testify against you when the police finds out that she was a witness to the fight."

Jay scoffed incredulously. "You're kidding me right? You want me to marry her? A stranger? You serious?"

"Hey it won't be a walk in the park for me either," Erin shot back, anger growing.

"Yeah but I'm sure 50k would make it nicer."

Erin pursed her lips, shaking her head. "You know what Will? I've changed my mind. $50,000 isn't enough money to put up with this ass for six months. I'm out of here! If the police comes calling, I'll just tell them what I saw." She stood up, ready to stalk out of the room. But Will quickly stood up too, coming around the table to stop her.

"Wait wait Erin," he pleaded. "Just please wait." She paused in her track. "I'm sorry for my brother here. But please reconsider." He gently led Erin back to the chair and sat her back down. "I know $50,000 isn't a lot of money for what we're asking you so we can add more to the deal. How about full expense paid for the nursing course?"

Erin glared at Will. "How do you about the nursing course?" she huffed. "Have you been stalking me or something?" she asked angrily.

"I'm a businessman Erin," Will replied. "I do my research before I do business with someone. And we will be entering into a mutually beneficial business relationship should you agree."

Erin remained silent, thinking to herself. "What would be the terms?"

Will let out a breath of relief. "Six months of marriage. You two can sign the marriage license and I know someone that can backdate the license, make it look like you got married a couple of months ago so your marriage took place before the fight. And of course, you'd have to make the marriage believable, just in case so no one finds out that it's a sham. That means you would have to live together at Jay's place." Erin groaned. "I promise it's just for six months. The case will close fast and so will the business deal. And for your trouble, you'll receive $50,000 at the end of the six months and all expenses paid for the nursing course. What do you say?"

Erin bit her lip, thinking over the offer. It sounded simple enough. Married the jackass next to her, live with him for six months and she'd get enough money to not only get into the nursing course that she had been dreaming off but actually having enough money to move out of her crappy apartment in the crappy part of town. "Fine," Erin agreed. "You got yourself a deal."

"Wait, I've never agreed to this!" Jay spoke up, waving his hands around.

Will shot him daggers. "Jay, unless you want to explain to dad about how you lost him the Applegate deal and got in trouble with the law again, I don't need your damn agreement. You're doing this and that's that."

Jay sighed, tilting his head backward dramatically. "Fine," he gave in. He turned to Erin and gave her what he'd probably considered his charming smile. "Let's get married, wife."

* * *

"There's no way in hell I'm sleeping the same bed as you," Erin stated, crossing her arms.

"Hmm sounds like we're actually married," Jay smirked, plopping himself down on his couch as she stood awkwardly in the living room, her suitcases next to her feet. Jay's condo was massive. Just the living room alone could've fit three of her studio in it. But no matter the size, she didn't think it'd be enough space for his ego.

"You are actually married," Will corrected. "According to this, you've been married for exactly one month and sixteen days, Mr. and Mrs. Halstead," Will said, holding up their marriage license that Will paid off to have backdated. "And sorry Erin but you two have to make it look like it's a real marriage just in case there's a surprise check in. The A.D.A was already suspicious when he found out that not only there was actually a witness to the fight, but that it was Jay's wife. I wouldn't put it past him to dig in and make sure that the marriage is legit so let's not give him any ammo to use against you guys."

"Fine," Erin grumbled. "Six months!" She repeated to herself. "Just six months of this."

"Instead of mumbling to yourself like an idiot, why don't you make yourself useful and bring your husband a beer, wife?" Erin felt the rush of anger in her body, her face heating up, ready to throttle her husband.

"Jay be nice," Will chided, sending Erin an apologetic smile. "Try not to kill him," he said before smartly making his exit, leaving the newlyweds alone.

"Where's my beer?" Jay questioned as he leaned back on the couch.

"Get it your damn self!" Erin snapped. "Now which one is your bedroom?"

Jay sat up. "Why?"

Erin rolled her eyes. "So I can unpack my things, genius!" She snapped, her anger getting the best of her again. How could his brother be so nice and accommodating but this one turned out to be a huge jackass—cocky and annoying?

"You're not staying in my room!" Jay shot back. "What if I want to bring a girl over? You're going to watch in the same bed?"

Erin mumbled angrily to herself. "If you bring a girl over while I'm in the same bed, I promise you, you won't have anything left to stick in her."

Jay held his hands up in surrender. "Okay, so I married a violent woman. I'm going to sleep with one eye open," he joked, watching Erin's reaction. He sighed. "Come on, that was funny. Laugh. Smile. Any other expression beside that scowl that has been on your face since I've met you." Erin obliged, throwing him her fakest smile. The one she had perfected from years of working at the diner and dealing with annoying customers. He laughed, seeing her expression. "That's a start."

She sighed, approaching him. "Look, we're in this for six months. You don't like it, I don't like it but we're stuck together so why don't we just try to make things as pleasant as possible? Make the time go faster."

Jay shrugged. "Fine by me. How are we going to do that?"

Erin sat down next to him on the couch. "How about some ground rules? I know this is your place but if I'm going to be here for the next six months, we should set up some rules."

"Like what kind of rules?"

She pursed her lips, thinking. "Okay I know Will said that we have to make our marriage look legitimate and stay in the same room but I think I can get away with sleeping in the guestroom. I'll just keep my things in your room so if anyone checks, they'll think we share a room."

Jay nodded, agreeing. "What else?"

"I may be your wife but I'm not your maid. That little joke earlier about getting you a beer? Not funny. Clean up after yourself." Jay nodded again, conceding to her. "And if you meet a girl, then bang her somewhere else. Don't bring her here, not when I'm living here and make sure to keep it discreet. We might not be in a real marriage but if this is going to be my home for the next six months, I still don't want random women coming in and out. Deal?"

"I can do that," Jay replied. "Okay deal."

"Then let's just try to stay out of each other's way and the next six months should fly by really quickly." Erin said, hoping what she was saying was true. She couldn't wait until it was over and she could get her real life started again—this time with a brighter future.

* * *

It had been two weeks and surprisingly the past two weeks had moved pretty quickly for Erin. Jay had stayed out of her way, both of them not really seeing each other. She slept in the guest room every night and snuck into his room in the morning to change her clothes while he was still passed out from going out all night. She didn't know if he was meeting other women while he was out and she didn't care. As long as he wasn't bringing them back here, he could do whatever and whoever he wanted. She was no longer working at the diner—Will had made her quit, stating that a Halstead wife wouldn't be working as a waitress—so she had nothing but time. So she spent that time hitting the books, preparing herself for the courses she'd be taking in the future. She had never been good at school—too busy worrying about where her next meal was coming from, if the heat was on or where her mother was to really care about hitting the books. But she was older now and she valued education more. She didn't want to be another sob story of a poor girl stuck in Chicago South Side. She wanted more for herself and her enrolling in the nursing course and hopefully getting a real career was her way out.

"You're studying?" She looked up from her books as Jay entered the kitchen, looking at the stacks of books she had on the kitchen island. "That's a lot of books."

"Yeah," Erin replied, jotting down a couple of notes in her book. "I'm trying to get a head start. Or catching up. Not really sure yet."

He nodded, picking up a book that was by him and thumbing through it. She looked at him curiously, wondering why he was standing there interacting with her. They usually left each other alone, barely seeing each other the last two weeks. They certainly never had a conversation that lasted longer than two words. But here he was, acting like he was actually interested in what she was doing.

"Biology," he frowned, leafing through the old textbook she had gotten from an old bookstore. "Man, I hated biology. I remember paying some nerd to do my homework when I had to take it in college." He laughed like it was something to be proud of.

"You went to college?"

"Of course," he replied back. "It's a Halstead's tradition to go to Brown. No matter what. It's high school then Brown. Man, I hated it."

Erin scoffed. "Yeah it must have been terrible to be practically guaranteed admission to an Ivy League school just because of your last name and getting a prestigious degree. I mean how awful right?"

He glared at her outburst, putting down her book back on the counter. "I get it," he started. "You think of me as some spoiled rich brat who got by with his last name his whole life."

Erin crossed her arms. "I mean, I'm not wrong am I? You tell me that it's "tradition" for your family to go to Brown which is basically code for your family money guaranteeing you admission. Then you bragged about paying some kid to do your work in college because why? You were too lazy to? Or too dumb to?"

That glare on his face intensified. "And what? You're smart? I don't know many smart kids ending up working as a waitress in some run down diner or studying basic biology when they're 30 years old."

Erin shook her head, anger and embarrassment consuming her. "Yeah I'm just a waitress. I didn't go to a fancy school. I didn't even go to college. I barely got passed high school if I'm completely honest but it's not because I wasn't smart enough. I didn't get the same opportunities as you. I don't have a fancy last name to open doors for me. I had to survive before I could even think about school or getting a decent education. So don't stand there and judge me. Not when you don't even know me."

Jay let out an empty chuckle. "That's a pot calling the kettle black. You don't want me to judge you but you're fine with judging me?" He shook his head. "You think you got me all figured out, don't you?"

Erin shrugged. "Not a lot of mystery there. You're about as deep as a puddle."

He licked his lips and shook his head. "You don't know me. Not even a little bit," he muttered. "Forget it. This was a mistake," he mumbled to himself and quickly walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

"You're here to check up on us?" Erin opened the door and let Will in, the man giving her a sheepish smile, knowing she had caught him.

"I'm just making sure both of you are still alive and haven't killed each other." Erin chuckled, knowing they had came close. "You're cooking?" He asked, smelling the aroma coming from the kitchen.

"Yeah," Erin looked at him strangely, wondering why he looked so surprised at that. "I'm about to eat dinner. Why?"

Will gave her a small shake of the head. "It's just weird, I guess. I don't think I've even seen Jay use his kitchen before. You like cooking?"

Erin shrugged. "Not like it's a hobby or anything. But a girl's gotta eat right?"

He hummed an agreement. "Why don't you just order something? Get it delivered?"

Erin's eyebrows rose. "You're kidding right? I can't afford to eat out every night. Besides it's not that hard to whip up something for dinner."

"What do you mean you can't afford it?" Will looked confused. "Just use Jay's account. You're his wife."

She scoffed. "That wasn't a part of the deal." She walked back over to the stove to check on her sauce. "The deal was 50k and the nursing course. I'm not going to spend his money. I've saved enough to last me for the next six months without working."

"Erin," Will joined her next to the stove. "It's really no big deal. While you're living here and you're married to him, just let us cover your expenses. I really should've made it clear in the first place. I don't want you spending your money, not when I made you quit your job. Besides I think Jay probably spends more money in a night going out than you would for the next six months."

Erin laughed, agreeing with Will's last statement. She turned off the stove and wiped her hand on the tea towel, turning to Will. "Thanks Will. I appreciate that, really but I don't really feel comfortable doing that. Besides like you said, I'm not really a big spender or anything so I can get by with my own money."

Will just nodded, knowing he wouldn't be winning the argument. "But seriously though, if you need anything let me or Jay knows. You might have to smack him upside the head to get his attention but do it anyways."

"Sounds like a plan," she grinned. "Now do you want some of my dinner? It's just spaghetti but Marty, the cook at the diner, taught me this secret trick and it's to die for." Will leaned in close to the pot and sniffed it, giving her a hum of approval.

"Smells good. Okay, I guess I have some time before my meeting. You don't mind?" Erin rolled her eyes, reaching for a plate to serve Will. "Thanks."

She placed the plate on the counter and joined Will at the kitchen island. "Mmmm, this is so good," Will closed his eyes, enjoying the food. "What's the secret?"

"No way," she shook her head. "I promised Marty that I'd take it to the grave. Not sharing." He gave her a fake pout, causing her to laugh at how ridiculous he looked. "I didn't think you'd like something plain like this."

"Oh I totally do," he said, mid-bite. "It reminds me of our mother. She was this second generation Italian and she had all these really great pasta recipes passed down from her grandma but our favorite was always her spaghetti and meatballs. It was simple but it always tasted like home."

She just nodded, listening to Will. "Italian? Where did the whole red hair and freckles come from then?"

He chuckled. "That'd be our father and his Irish blood. Jay just got his freckles and as you can see, I won the jackpot and got both the red hair and freckles." She laughed at Will puffing his chest out. "Seriously though, Jay would love this."

Her expression became tight at the mention of Jay. "I don't know about that."

"No, really. That was always his favorite. Would never touch anyone else's spaghetti but mom's. I mean, that wasn't really that surprising. He had always been a mama's boy."

Safe to say she was surprised by that. He didn't seem like it. Jay didn't look like the type that was close to his family. "Really?"

Will let out a soft laugh, lost in his memories. "Yeah, he was her favorite too. I know, I know. Parents always say they love all their children equally but mom and Jay, they had this special bond. She was always the one he turned to, especially when he and our father clashed, which was often."

"Was?"

Will nodded sadly. "She passed away about four years ago. Cancer. It happened so fast and Jay took it the hardest. It was like he lost both his mom and his best friend all at the same time. To be honest, I don't think he had ever fully gotten over it."

Erin took in the information about the man she married, her heart aching at what Will was telling her. She would've never pegged Jay as that type. Maybe Jay was right when he told her that she didn't know him, not even a little bit. Will's words revealed a whole new side of Jay that she didn't know existed. Maybe she had judged him too quickly. Her thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door and in came her husband, his eyes narrowing at seeing her and Will eating side by side in the kitchen.

"What's going on? What are you doing here Will?" Jay questioned, coming closer to them.

Will finished his bite and swallowed. "I just came by to make sure you both were doing okay. And I came at the right time because Erin made this awesome dinner. You should try some."

Jay wrinkled his nose. "No thanks. I'm going out to dinner with Mouse." Erin bit her lips, not exactly surprised that Jay would reject eating dinner with them. He was looking at her food like it was disgusting. It was no wonder that she was so surprised by what Will told her and she wasn't even sure if she believed Will's story about Jay. Maybe Will was just too close to his brother and saw him in a more pleasant light.

"Are you sure man?" Will called out. "Just try a bite here," Will held out a forkful of pasta, waiting for Jay to eat it. "It tastes like mom's."

Jay scoffed. "No way."

"I'm serious!" Will tried again. "Just one bite." Jay sighed and gave in, leaning it to take the bite that Will was offering him. He chewed on it, the look in his eyes changing as the food made its way to his taste buds. "See, I told you." Will grinned smugly. "Now you want more huh?"

"It tastes like mom's," was Jay's soft reply, his whole demeanor softening at the realization. Despite not wanting to, Erin's own heart softened, seeing the expression on his face. She stood up without a word and made a plate for Jay. She gave him a smile as she placed the plate on the counter, Jay returning a genuine smile at her action. He dug into the food, eyes closing at the taste. "Thank you," he told her, smiling. "It's delicious."

"You're welcome," she replied softly, returning a smile of her own. "I'm glad you like it." He held her gaze so intensely that she felt her face heat up, blushing under his stare.

"Look at this," Will shouted gleefully, breaking the moment between her and Jay. "Our first family dinner!"

Jay groaned. "Don't tell me you coming over for dinner is going to become a common occurrence." Jay was obviously kidding but it didn't stop Will for sending him a glare. Erin found the interaction between the two brothers amusing and she chuckled to herself. It was actually nice, she thought to herself—eyes shifting between the two brothers—to have a so-called "family dinner".

* * *

After the three of them finished their dinner and Erin did the dishes—despite protests from Will and surprisingly Jay—they were still seated around the island, with a cup of coffee for each of them.

"I did actually come for a reason," Will started. "besides making sure both of you were still alive." Erin placed her coffee cup down, waiting for Will to elaborate. Will turned to Jay, a serious look on his face. "I heard from Dad today. Said he's coming back into town in a couple of weeks. Just wanted to give you a heads up."

The look that came over Jay's face at the mention of his father made it clear to Erin that they didn't have the best relationship. Will had hinted as much before but seeing the disdain on Jay's face in person made it even clearer that Jay didn't get along with his father.

"So what?" Jay almost spat out. "What does it have to do with me?"

Will sighed. "Jay. You know he's going to want to see you. And eventually he's going to find out about this," Will pointed between Jay and Erin. "We need to figure out what we're going to tell him."

"Tell him whatever you want. I doubt he'd even care, just as long as his precious business merge goes through."

"That's not fair," Will argued. "I know you don't think he cares about you but he does. And he's going to find out about Erin and he's going to want to meet her."

"No way!" Jay immediately protested, slamming his coffee cup down. "There's no way in hell that he's meeting Erin." Erin didn't know whether to feel offended or not, seeing such a visceral reaction from Jay at the thought of her meeting his dad. "I'm not going to put her through that." He added, making it clear that he was doing it for her sakes.

"It is going to happen whether you like it or not Jay," Will reasoned, "so if you really want to protect Erin then I suggest you two come up with a good story so he doesn't find out why you guys really got married."

* * *

Erin sat up in her bed, hearing some crashing sounds coming from outside of her bedroom. She grabbed the nearest object she could which just happened to be her slippers and she slowly got up and exited her room, quietly tip-toeing to find out just where the noise was coming from. She saw a small light coming from the kitchen and she heard a harsh "fuck!" coming from there. She knew it couldn't be Jay. After Will had dropped the bomb that their father was coming back in a couple of weeks, Jay had stormed off and made his exit. She headed toward the kitchen, still holding up her slipper like it was going to protect her from a potential intruder.

"Who's there?!" she demanded, quickly opening up the kitchen lights and holding out her slipper like it was a weapon. The intruder was being hidden by the refrigerator door and her sudden appearance seemed to frighten whoever it was enough that he hit his head on the fridge door.

"What the?! Fuck!" Jay groaned, coming from behind the fridge door, rubbing the spot on his head that hit the fridge. "What the hell?"

Erin deflated, her heart calming down. "Jay?"

He was still rubbing his head, looking at her like she lost her damn mind. "Yeah? Who else would it be? Are you…..is that your slipper?" he asked incredulously, face splitting into a smile before full on laughing at her. She dropped her slipper on the floor, feeling embarrassed. He did have a point. Who in their right mind would use a freaking slipper to fend off an intruder.

"It was the first thing I grabbed," she offered lamely, Jay still laughing at her, holding his sides. "Alright, I get it. It was dumb."

"No no," he said in between laughter. "Everyone knows that slippers are the new guns."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, you done now?" He nodded, still amused at her but he took a deep breath to control his laughter. "What are you doing here anyway?"

He shot his eyebrows up. "I live here. It's kind of my place? Did you accidentally hit your head with your slipper and got amnesia or something?"

"Haha very funny," she shot back. "I thought you left earlier. I didn't think you'd be back so soon."

His face sobered up a bit. "Yeah," he said softly. "I wasn't really feeling being out tonight. So I came back early. Sorry if I woke you up."

She nodded, accepting his answer. "It's okay. Are you looking for something?" He bit his lips, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly like he had been caught. Her curiosity peaked at the way he was acting. Then understanding dawned on her and she found herself smiling. She walked over where he was standing by the fridge, pushing him slightly out of the way, and found what he was looking for earlier. Without another word, she grabbed a empty plate out of the cabinet and scooped out the leftover spaghetti she made earlier and put it in the microwave.

She turned back to him and gestured for him to sit on the stool. He complied easily enough, leaning his elbow on the kitchen island, giving her a grateful smile.

"Really, you don't have to do this," he told her when she got the plate out of the microwave and placed it in front of him. "Thank you." She shrugged his thank off, like it wasn't a big deal. "I'm serious. I want to follow the rules we set and you were right, you're not my maid."

"Jay," she interrupted him, bending down on her elbows so she was face to face with him. "You didn't ask me. I did it because I wanted to. Besides it's not going to happen often so when I'm in the nice mood, take advantage of it." He grinned, accepting her explanation. She just watched him as he took a bite, the same happy expression from earlier coming over his face again. It sent a surge of happiness to her chest, seeing him enjoy something that she made. "Mind if I join you?"

He shook his head, patting the open stool next to her. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down next to him, side by side. "I really am sorry that I woke you up." She waved his apology off again. "I just really wanted more of your spaghetti before I went to bed."

"I'm glad you like it," she said, giving him a smile. "I didn't think you would."

"No, it's really good," he reassured her. "Where'd you learn how to cook?"

She chuckled to herself. "I taught myself."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she nodded, laughing. "It's not that hard. I mean I'm not a fancy chef by any means but I get by. I had to." He looked at her, eyes looking like they were interested in hearing more so she continued. "I mean, I had to learn or I would've starved. So I just started cooking by myself when I was 12."

His eyes widened. "12? That's young. Your parents didn't cook for you?"

She shook her head, exhaling. "No, um…," she paused, not really sure whether she wanted to continue but she had learned something about him tonight and for some reason, she wanted him to know something about her too. "I've never met my father and my mother was pretty much never around."

"Oh," was his reply and she almost regretted telling him that. The last thing she wanted was his pity.

"It's not a big deal," she said, not wanting him to feel sorry for her. "I managed."

"Erin, you shouldn't have had to," he asserted, like he was angry on her behalf. "Your parents, they should've been there for you. It's their job, their responsibility. So you've been on your own since then?"

"Yeah pretty much," she replied. "I mean, maybe even earlier than that. My mom, she was in and out of my life when I was younger. She was an addict and loved coke more than her daughter. There'd be days when she'd be like a normal mom, making me lunch for school, had dinner on the table. Then whenever she relapsed, she was too busy looking for her next fix than to be a mother. Then one day, she just never came home and I haven't seen her since."

"I'm sorry," he told her, sounding sincere.

"Don't be," she replied, "It was probably for the best."

He just looked at her, a look she couldn't decipher in his eyes. It unnerved her, making her feel like she was completely exposed under his gaze. It made her feel vulnerable and she was never comfortable with that. Her immediate reaction was to build her walls back up, the ones she had perfected over the years. But it seemed as though he wouldn't let her. "Take it from me Erin. It's not always a good thing having parents in your life. Just look at me and my dad."

She was surprised that he even brought up his dad but she was definitely interested in hearing more about it. "I take it you two aren't close either?"

He scoffed. "Let's put it this way. There had never been or will never be father-son fishing trips," he quipped. "No, we're not close. Never have been. He was always too busy with his business and work to be an actual father. And after my mom…." he took a deep breath at the mention of his mother. "After she passed, my relationship with my dad went from bad to worse."

"Why?" she braved the question, not completely sure if he would even continue.

"He wanted both me and Will to follow in his footsteps, take over the family business. But it was never our dreams. Will, he always wanted to be a doctor and I wanted to do anything else beside take over his business. My mom, she always played buffer between us, always made me and Will try to see the good side of him. I mean, he treated my mom like shit when they were married. I'm pretty sure he cheated on her like so many times but she still loved him, too much for her own good." Erin saw that he was getting angry, clenching his fists, while recalling the past. "My mom, she was a freaking saint. Even when he was screwing his secretary when she was going through chemo by herself, she would defend him. But all it did was made me hate him more." Her heart went out to him. He was clearly in pain. Will was right. Jay wasn't over his mother's death and he was holding onto the anger and hatred towards his dad as a result.

She took a chance and reached out to his clenched fists that were on the kitchen island and she slowly pried his fists open and held his hand. There was nothing but anguish in his eyes, thinking of his mom and Erin felt terrible for bringing up the topic.

"I'm sorry," was all she could say to him. He just nodded, his glistening eyes holding unshed tears in. "Parents right?" she said, trying to lighten the mood up a little bit, wanting to make him feel better. He just gave her a small chuckle for her effort.

"Parents," he repeated.

* * *

She stepped into his bedroom as quietly as she could, not wanting to wake him up. Ever since the night they shared stories about their parents a week ago, there seemed to be this new understanding between them. They certainly weren't friends, not yet anyways, but she appreciated him opening up to her and letting her see a different side of him beside the snarky jerk act he usually put up. But despite the small subtle change in their relationship, she still didn't feel comfortable entering his bedroom while he was in it. But she really needed a thicker jacket, the autumn had ended and opened up the way for winter and its colder temperature.

She was expecting to find him still sleeping, knowing that he usually slept in but he wasn't in bed. She heard the water running in the bathroom, indicating that he was taking a shower, giving her the perfect opportunity to get in and get her jacket without facing him. She opened up the closet room where she stored her things and got on her tippy toes so she could reach the jacket she wanted from the top shelf. She reached and pulled the jacket down, accidentally pulling down a box along with it.

"Shit!" she cursed to herself, crouching down to pick up the things that fell from the box and quickly put it back before he came out. She was on her knees, her hands working fast to pick up the pictures and papers that were on the ground. She flipped the pictures around, her mouth opening in surprise at seeing them.

"You snooping through my things?" She jerked around, his sudden appearance from the bathroom catching her by surprise. She looked up and found him just standing in his towel, another towel running through his hair to dry. Her mouth dried at seeing his toned body, chest dripping wet with drops of water. She blushed, her face heating up, when a smirk came over his face, knowing that she was caught checking him out. She shook her head slightly, focusing back on the pictures she was holding in her hand.

"I wasn't snooping!" she defended herself. "I just wanted to get my jacket and I accidentally pulled down the box." He gave her a look like he didn't believe her. "I promise!" she vowed, not wanting him to think she had a habit of going through his things when he wasn't around. She wasn't a snoop. But his laugh told her that he was just teasing her so she just shot him an eye roll. "I didn't know you were a cop." She held up the picture of him from her hand, Jay in his police blues by his patrol car, a wide smile on his face.

His smile fell off at seeing the picture and he turned away from her, hands resuming to dry his hair. "Yeah, that was a while ago."

"What happened?" she asked anyway, knowing that he probably wouldn't answer her. But she was curious, that this heir to a multi-millionaire company was a public servant but she was even more curious at what happened to make him stop being a cop. He looked happy in the pictures that she found, smiling widely in all of them.

He shrugged, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Nothing. Just decided that I didn't want to be a cop anymore." There was obviously more to the story but it looked like he wasn't in the mood to elaborate today. She quickly put the pictures back in the box and returned it to its place. She just grabbed her jacket and was about to leave but when she turned back, he was still sitting on the edge of bed, lost in his thoughts.

There was just this aura of sadness around him now, obviously something about those pictures of him triggered something in him. She didn't want to leave him like this, not when she was the one who found those pictures and brought up whatever memories that he associated those pictures with. So she walked over to him and sat down gently next to him.

"Is this your mom?" she asked, holding up a picture of Jay in his uniform, arms around a middle aged woman, and they were both grinning at the camera. He nodded, grabbing the picture from her to look at it closer. "She was beautiful." Jay obviously got the good looks from his mother, they had the blue eyes and their smiles were identical, right down to the crinkles by their eyes.

"She was," Jay replied quietly, a fond smile coming over his face. "She was the only one who came to my Academy graduation. The only one who didn't disapprove me becoming a cop."

"You looked happy in those pictures," she voiced quietly. "I don't think I've seen a smile like that on your face since I've been here."

"I was happy," he echoed. "I loved being a cop."

"Then why did you stop?" He remained silent at her question. She nudged him gently with her shoulders to get his attention. "Jay?" He still remained silent. "Hey," she reached out to him, "it's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm sorry that I brought it up."

"No," he shrugged her apology off. "Don't be." He sighed, rubbing his face. "It's just something I don't really like to talk about, with anyone."

"Hey it's okay," Erin reassured him again. "I understand. I mean we're not exactly friends so you don't have to open up to me."

"Hey," he interjected, getting her attention firmly. "We're friends," he corrected. "I mean, I consider us friends. Don't you?"

She grinned. "I do," she replied, surprising herself that she really meant it. She wasn't sure how or when it happened but over the month that she had been living there and that night of them opening up to each other, she began to consider him as a friend. "And while you don't have to talk to me about this, you know that you could if you wanted to right? I'm here to listen."

The light in his eyes returned at her words and he slowly reached out to hold her hands, nodding. "I know. Thank you." She just nodded, breaking his hold on her to get up and made her exit, feeling his eyes on her back the entire time.

* * *

She wanted to rip her hairs out in frustration, flipping through her books harshly. The words in her books were in English but as far as she was concerned, they could've been in gibberish judging by how difficult of a time she was having getting them in her head. She knew she was never good in school and it had been years since she had to study, but who knew it'd be this difficult? She let out a groan in frustration.

"Studying is going that well huh?" Jay teased as he came into the kitchen, standing next to her on the kitchen island.

"I must be crazy for thinking that I could actually do this," Erin whined, dropping her head into her hand. "I can't even get this basic biology material so how am I supposed to get through the nursing course."

"Hey," Jay cut her off. "You're not crazy! And you can do this." He got her a glass of water. "You just need to stop pushing yourself too much."

"What?" she asked, her head popping back up to look at him.

"I'm serious. You're pushing yourself too hard. Every time I've seen you these past few weeks, you got your head stuck in these books. You need to relax. Take it easy."

"I can't take it easy!" Erin argued. "The courses I want to take starts in a couple of months and I have been out of school for way too long. I'm going be taking these courses with people that either just got out of high school or people who already took the basic courses in college. Either way the materials will be fresh on their mind while I won't know the difference between mitosis and meiosis. I don't want to look like a complete idiot on my first day or caught being so behind from everyone else." He laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, rubbing it softly trying to comfort her. "I can't do this."

"You can do this!" Jay protested. He squeezed her shoulder to get her attention, his eyes looking straight into hers. "Erin, you got this! You just need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. The courses are not for a couple of months right? Then you have the time. Just take it slowly. You don't need to walk into the classroom an expert on the topic. Take it from someone that slacked all the way through college, everyone is equally clueless too." He joked, pleased with himself when she laughed at it.

She side-eyed him, although it was more for effect than any actual annoyance. "Only you would think that slacking off in college is a badge of honor or something."

"What can I say? One of my proudest achievement," he gave her a grin, a proud look on his face. She could roll her eyes at him, amused at his antics.

* * *

Erin slammed the cabinet door in anger, muttering curses to herself. She was having a crappy day and the cabinet doors were facing the brunt of it. She got a cup and poured some coffee in it, going to the fridge to get some cream. Then she slammed the fridge door.

"Whoa, what did the doors ever do to you?" Jay came into the kitchen, sniggering at her little anger outburst.

"Not in the mood, Jay." She sat down on the stool and dropped her head in her hands. All she wanted to do was to sit in the kitchen and stew in her anger. She didn't want him here, trying to make conversations. But apparently he didn't get the hint because instead of hightailing it out of there, he came closer to her.

"Hey what's wrong?" He sounded concerned, like he actually cared. But Erin wasn't in the right headspace to talk to him right now. She was feeling like every time she was about to move one step forward, life wanted to knock her two steps back. Nothing could ever be smooth sailing for her. "Hey." Jay touched her arm softly to get her attention but she shrugged him off, not wanting to be touched right now.

"Nothing," she gritted, not even looking at him. "Just leave me alone."

"Well, I'm not going to leave my wife when she's looking this upset all alone," Jay joked, trying to lift her spirits but all he got was a glare in return. "Erin," he bent his head down so he can see her face that was hidden by her hands, "what's going on?"

She grunted, anger surging, and popped her head up. "Nothing!" she shouted, taking out her anger on him. "I said just leave me alone! We may be married but we're not a couple, we're barely friends so just go out like you always do, go bang another woman and just leave me alone!"

Jay looked like he got slapped in the face, her outburst taking him by surprise. He recoiled from her side, his own anger forming at being shot down by her. "Fine!" he shouted back, straightening up and made to leave the kitchen and leave her in her misery.

"Go then!" she yelled, anger matching anger. He began to stalk out of the kitchen, but not before she caught a look of hurt on his face. Guilt rose inside her, making her feel like shit for the way she treated him. He was just trying to be nice to her, to show her that he cared. How many people can she say that about in her life? Not many and here she was, pushing him away because she couldn't process her anger in a healthy way. She ran her hands through her hair, about to stop him from leaving so she could apologize. But she didn't need to because he was still in the kitchen, a few feet away from her, stopped in his own trek. She watched him nervously, wondering what had stopped him.

He turned around and walked back to her, meeting her eyes that were watching his every move curiously. "I am going to leave you alone like you want," he started, "but not before I say this."

She kept quiet, waiting to hear what he wanted to tell her. "I'm not…I'm…" she watched him carefully, wondering what had him stammering. He took a deep breath and clenched the kitchen island, staring at her so she was looking at him. "You're right. We're not a couple but we're still married. And I'm not my father."

Confusion made its way on her face, wondering what he was getting at. "What?"

"My parents got married because their parents wanted to merge their companies and my father used that as an excuse to cheat on my mother. We may have gotten married for other reasons besides love and we don't owe each other fidelity. But I'm not going to do what my father did to my mother. I'm not him. I haven't slept with anyone else since we got married. I just….I just wanted you to know that." She didn't reply, she didn't know what to say, his confession taking her by surprise. She had thought that all those nights he had been out and came home in the morning that he had been out with other women, sleeping around. He had never brought a woman over but she had assumed that it was because she had made it clear that she didn't want him bringing women back home. But she had never asked him to not sleep with anyone else, it wasn't her place to. After all, they weren't a normal married couple. They didn't meet, dated, fell in love then got married. They got married because he needed her to keep quiet and she needed money. But still, she couldn't deny the lightness in her chest at his revelation that he hadn't been with other women since they got married. She was surprised—but pleasantly so.

He saw her still silent and instead of pushing her for a reply, he just turned to leave. "Jay!" she called him, stopping him. She stood up and walked over to him so she was facing him. "I'm sorry," she began, feeling the need to apologize. "I didn't mean to take my anger out on you. I was just having a crappy day and you didn't deserve that."

He just gave her a small nod, accepting her apology. He wasn't pushing her to open up, letting her off the hook but she felt the need to explain further. She sighed, dropping her eyes to the ground. "I went to register for the courses today," she began explaining. "But apparently I need a high school diploma so I went to my high school to get a copy and it turned out that I didn't finish high school so I don't have a diploma."

His eyes narrowed. "What? You didn't know that you didn't finish high school?"

She shook her head. "I…I was a mess back then," she crossed her arms, almost as if she was protecting herself as she was about to tell him about a part of her life that she wasn't proud of, the past that she had tried to keep it in the past. "I fell in the with the wrong crowd, ditching class, doing god knows what. I put in minimal effort in my classes and I just thought I passed, didn't bother going to the graduation ceremony because who cares right? No one was waiting to watch me walk across the stage to get my diploma so I just dipped. Then I went back to high school today and the secretary there told me that I didn't pass a couple of classes so I'm not a high school graduate and I can't take the nursing courses." She rubbed her face, sighing. "I'm such a loser."

"I'm sorry," he said genuinely. "That sucks." She let out an empty laugh, agreeing with him. "Anything I can do?" She shook her head.

"It's just life right?" she replied. "Thank you for asking. I really am sorry that I took my anger out of you. And," she leaned in closer to him, looking up at his face. "Thank you." She didn't need to elaborate. He understood what the second thank-you was for. It was a thank you for respecting her, for respecting their marriage, for treating her well without her needing to ask and thank you for being her friend.

* * *

Now that she wasn't going to be taking the courses in the near future and she didn't need to hit the books, her day was completely wide opened. And she was completely bored. Jay was off to work and she was all by herself in the large condo. For the past couple of days, she had done nothing but mindlessly binged on shows, trying to distract her mind from having to think about what she was going to do with her life now that her plan A had been shot to hell. She didn't want to go back to being a waitress in that diner but she didn't have much options. She could use the $50,000 to tide her over for a couple of months while she looked for a better job but the thought of not having a job to fall back on scared the shit out of her. So she just tried to bury her mind in T.V, she would rather focus on the problems of the t.v characters' than her own.

She heard the doorbell rang so she paused her show and stood up to open the door. On the other side was a strange man, probably in his mid-twenties, smiling at her, carrying a large backpack.

"Can I help you?" she asked, wondering who this was. Another Halstead brother she didn't know about?"

"I'm Jake," the guy introduced himself. "I'm here for Erin."

"I'm Erin," she replied cautiously. "I'm sorry but do I know you?"

"Oh," Jake smiled nervously, holding out his hand for her to shake. "I'm sorry, I should've made it clearer. I'm Jake and I'm the tutor that Jay hired."

"What?" she was confused, Jay had hired a tutor? For her? "Um, come in, I guess." She let him in and took him over to the living room. "I'm sorry but you said Jay hired you?"

Jake nodded, sitting down and placing his heavy looking backpack on the ground, unzipping it to take out his books. "Yeah, he told me that you wanted to get into this nursing course? But that you didn't have your high school diploma. He found out that you can enroll anyway if you have a G.E.D so he hired me to help you study for the G.E.D test. So I'm here."

"Really?" she asked, in awe. "He did that? For me?"

Jake nodded. "He is your husband right? It's nice to see spouses help make each other's dreams come true. So ready to hit the books? We should get started soon if you want to get your G.E.D before the nursing course begins." She shook herself out of her stupor and nodded, her heart beating fast at the thought of Jay's thoughtful gesture. She couldn't believe that he had done this for her, even after she had treated him so terribly. She hated to admit it to herself but she was beginning to see her husband in a whole new light.

* * *

She put on her jacket and closed her purse, ready to head out. Jay had done this amazing thing for her—getting her a tutor and found a way to revive her dream—and she wanted to thank him. She had been wracking her brain all week, trying to think of a way to thank him but she couldn't think of anything—at least anything that said just how grateful she was towards him. Then finally today as she was thinking about what to make for dinner, her mind went to the spaghetti she made last month—one that he loved so much and she found her answer. It was a simple dish—especially compared to what he did for her—but she knew that it was more about the sentimentality of the dish instead of the cost. So she was about to head to the grocery store to buy what she needed to surprise him tonight.

She was just about to leave when he returned home, both of them almost colliding in the door way. They awkwardly side-stepped around each other, their bodies in close proximity with each other.

"Sorry," he said, stepping to the side to give her room. "You heading out?"

"Yeah," she replied. "I was about to head to the grocery store." He just nodded and their eyes met. Ever since that night when he had told her that he hadn't slept with anyone else since they got married, there had been a shift in the air between them. It wasn't the animosity that was between them when they first got married or the easiness of the friendship they had forged in the weeks after when they had gotten to know each other better. This air that lingered between them now was charged and it was tense. The look in his eyes had changed when he looked at her and Erin was too afraid to voice the change out loud—she wasn't ready.

"What do you need at the store?"

"Um," she paused, thinking if she wanted to tell him. But she didn't want him to go out for dinner because he didn't know that she was planning on cooking for him. "I needed a few things." He just nodded, accepting her answer and was about to walk away. "I wanted to make you the spaghetti and I don't have all the ingredients so I was about to go buy them."

A small smile took over his face. "You're going to cook for me?"

She nodded, almost embarrassed under his stare. "Yeah, I wanted to thank you for what you did for me. Hiring Jake to help me. I really appreciate it."

"It's nothing," he said, waving her thank you off. "I'm just glad I can help."

"No, it's not nothing. You have no idea how much it means to me," Erin said, grabbing his arms to get his full attention. "It's more than just getting me a tutor or me getting my G.E.D. You gave me back a dream that I thought was dead. That's big." The smile he gave her in return was blinding and she couldn't help but smile back, her heart skipping at seeing the crinkles in the corner of his eyes. "I'll be back soon and we can eat dinner together."

She turned to leave but he called her name and she turned back to look at him, seeing him scratch the back of his neck. "You want company?" he asked her, almost like he was nervous to even ask. She grinned, nodding her head and the nervous look on his face relaxed and he opened the door for her and the two of them headed out to the grocery store.

* * *

"I don't think I've been in a grocery store in years," he muttered as he pushed the cart along the aisle. She gave him an incredulous look at his confession.

"Seriously?" she scoffed. "How did you even get by?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I just order whatever I need online and it comes to my door. And you've seen my kitchen and you know I don't cook. Just never had a need to come, I guess."

She shook her head at his answer, directing her attention back to the different options of pastas the store offered. She picked up two boxes and held them up to Jay. "Angel hair or you feeling more adventurous and go for the penne?"

He reached over for the box of Angel hair pasta and dropped it in the cart. "Angel hair definitely. Classic all the way." She chuckled at him and followed him as they continued down the aisle. "What else do you need to get?"

"Um, garlic and I think that should be it," she said, scanning the cart to make sure they had everything they needed.

"Okay but first, the important thing." He pushed the cart along, spotting something with his eyes, and she just followed him until they arrived at the freezer aisle and found themselves in rows of ice-cream. His eyes filled with glee like he was literally a kid in the ice-cream store and he began scanning all the options of ice-cream the store offered. "Why haven't I come here more often?" he asked to himself as he pulled off a couple of cartons of ice-cream and placed them in the cart. She laughed at his actions, seeing this whole different side to him. "What's your favorite flavor?"

"Vanilla, definitely." He frowned at her reply. "What?"

"That's a boring flavor," he retorted.

"It's classic," she shot back, using his words from before, pushing him slightly to the side so she coud grab a carton of vanilla ice-cream and placed in the cart, giving him a smug smile. He just rolled his eyes at her, mouthing 'boring' at her.

"Why don't you go grab the garlic and I'll meet you at the check-out line?" Jay suggested. Erin shook her head.

"No," she rejected. "There's no way you're paying for this. Not when I'm supposed to be the one making you dinner as a thank you." He just rolled his eyes at her again, pushing the cart to his side and away from her.

"Erin," he protested. "I got this. Really."

"I can pay for this Jay," she shot back, feeling a bit angry and hurt as if he thought she couldn't afford to pay for the grocery.

"I know you can," he said, defending himself. "But I want to pay for this, especially when I'm the one that got all these ice-cream." He walked around the cart and placed his hand on her shoulders. "Erin, you cooking is enough of a thank you. So just go and get the garlic and meet me back at the cashier." He pushed her slightly so she gave in and headed to go grab the last ingredient they needed for dinner tonight.

* * *

She held the garlic in her hand and made her way back to Jay. She spotted him standing a few feet away, leaning on the cart, waiting in line to pay. She felt herself smile at seeing him. She had to admit to herself that he was a good looking man, even under the harsh fluorescent lights of the store. He was tall and handsome and the coat he was wearing just made him stand out even more. But as she had learned over the past month, he was genuinely a good guy. She didn't think that upon first meeting him but as she began to learn more and more about him, it was becoming clearer to her that underneath the snarky and cocky surface that he liked to hide behind, he was considerate, caring and thoughtful. And he was funny, always cracking jokes and making her laugh even if she had tried her hardest not to a lot of the times. She was really beginning to enjoy his presence in her life.

"Jay?" Erin stopped in her steps, when she heard another woman called out her husband's name. Jay turned around and saw who was calling him. Erin watched a few feet away as the woman approached Jay and held out her arms, hugging him. Jay returned her hug for a quick second before pulling away but the woman's hand remained on his arm, touching him. Erin bit her lips as she studied the woman from a few feet away. She was certainly beautiful, Erin observed, and it seemed as though she knew Jay very well, if the wide smile on her face was any indication. Erin debated to herself on whether or not she should join them, not knowing who this woman was. But she chided herself, for thinking that she needed to stay away. He was her husband, she didn't need to hide herself. So she walked over to them.

"I got the garlic," she said, making her way back over to Jay and the woman. She dropped the garlic in the cart and gave Jay a smile, waiting for him to make the introduction.

"Erin," Jay said, stepping closer to her. "This is Ally," he said, introducing Erin to the woman, whose smile had immediately fallen at Erin's sudden appearance. "Ally, this is Erin, my wife," Jay said, smiling at Erin at the label. Ally's jaw dropped.

"Your wife?" Ally stuttered. "Really?" Erin's eyes narrowed at her reply, feeling Ally's eyes scan her up and down. The expression on her face made it clear that she clearly thought of Erin as beneath her, her eyes judging everything Erin had on. Erin tried not to feel small under the scrutinizing stare of the other woman but as Erin took in Ally's own perfectly curled hair, glossy skin, well manicured nails and perfectly coordinated outfit, she couldn't help but feel underdressed in her own large sweatshirt and well-worn leggings. Ally's shirt alone probably cost more than what Erin had in her whole bank account. "I didn't know you got married," Ally challenged.

"Yeah, it happened kind of fast," Jay explained. His arms came around Erin's shoulder and he held her close. "We just kind of met and fell in love and knew that we belong together so we didn't want to wait to get married." That was the story they had agreed upon, to explain their sudden marriage. Despite it being all for show, Erin hated herself for feeling her heart skipped at hearing the story and the way Jay was holding her right now.

Ally's face soured. "Jay, this isn't like you." Erin wanted to slap the lipstick off of Ally's face, like she knew Jay better than his wife. "Daddy has said that you haven't been around in recent years but he didn't tell me why. But I guess now I know."

Jay's face dropped. "Yeah, I haven't been around not because I got married but because," he trailed off, not explaining further. "Tell him I'm sorry."

Ally nodded, grabbing Jay's arms. "I understand." Her eyes glanced over at Erin before turning back to Jay. "This certainly is a surprise but we should catch up anyway. We have a lot to catch up on."

Jay just gave a half hearted nod. "We should go," he said, turning to Erin to change the subject. "It was nice to see you Ally." Ally looked like she wanted to hug him again but he didn't release his hold on Erin so Ally just nodded, waving at them before walking away. Jay turned back to the cashier and began placing the items on the belt.

"Ex-girlfriend?" Erin asked him, although she already knew. He just nodded. "She's pretty." He shot her an exasperated look. "What? She is and she looked like she swallowed a lemon when I came."

"You jealous?" he teased her, earning an eye roll. "You were, weren't you?"

"Please," she immediately denied, although if she was being honest with herself, maybe there was a small part of her that felt jealous. His ex-girlfriend was the polar opposite from her. She was beautiful, well put together and it was obvious that she came from money. She probably had a fancy degree from a fancy college and a good career. And here was Erin, in her sweat and old leggings, hair tied up in a bun. Not to mention, she didn't even have a high school diploma and her career history included nothing but one dead end job after another. They weren't even comparable; it was blatantly obvious just what kind of woman a guy like Jay belonged with and it wasn't her.

"Hey," Jay called, getting her attention. "You have nothing to be jealous of. Me and Ally, that's all the way in the past and too much stuff happened since then and I'm never going there again." She was left wondering just what the hell happened between them.

* * *

Jay frowned, not seeing Erin in her usual spot in the kitchen at this time. Ever since he had hired Jake to tutor her, Erin had been putting in extra hours hitting the books and Jay would always see her in the kitchen island at night, studying. He really admired her and the determination she had towards her dreams.

He was about to leave for the night, heading to Ally's house for a party. She had been calling him the past few days, inviting him to her housewarming party since she was moving back to Chicago. He just gave her a non-committal answer but she was insistent. So much so that Will had called him to make sure that he would be attending, not wanting to make waves with the Corsons and the business dealings between them. So Jay had to suck it up and go, despite not wanting to. He would've asked Erin to go but he didn't want to put her through it, knowing that Erin would be uncomfortable at a party at his ex-girlfriend's house. Hell, he didn't even want to be there but he had to, for the business.

Still, he couldn't shake off the feeling of worry in chest at not seeing Erin in the kitchen. He hadn't seen her since he had gotten back from the office today and usually as of late, she'd be waiting for him either in the living room or in the kitchen and they would have a cup of coffee and jus talk. They had definitely grown closer in the two months that they had been married and Jay knew his feelings toward her was growing. He had to stop himself from just reaching over and kissing her several times already. But he always held himself back, knowing that she didn't see him like that. For her, it was strictly business.

"Erin?" He knocked her on her door and slowly opening it when he didn't get a reply. He was getting more and more worried and wanted to make sure she was okay. He found her sleeping on the bed and he released a sigh of relief and was about to walk back out. But he heard whimpers coming from her and he stopped, turning around and walking back to her. She was whimpering in her sleep, tossing in bed. He reached his hand down to check on her forehead, pulling it back immediately when he felt how hot it was. She was sick and had a fever.

Frowning—his chest filled with concern—he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Erin? You alright?" She didn't reply, just continued tossing in bed. She had cold sweats and she was completely knocked out, not responding to him. He got out of his phone and called his doctor immediately, his hand resting on her forehead again.

* * *

"She has a high fever but it's really nothing much to be concerned about." The doctor rewound his stethoscope and put it back in his case. "I'm going to give her something to help her break the fever and she should be just fine."

Jay stood by Erin's side as he watched the doctor examined Erin, who was completely out of it, not even realizing that she was being checked over. "She'll be okay?"

"Yes," the doctor stood up. "It's probably going to be a rough night ahead for her until her fever breaks. She's probably going to be cold with chills one minute then sweating the next. But it's all just signs that her body is fighting to break the fever. She'll be alright."

Jay crossed his arms, still worried. "Anything I can do for her?"

"Just keep watch over her," the doctor replied. "You can apply cold towel on her forehead, keep her cool and help break the fever. But the medicine will do its job."

"Thank you," Jay said, shaking the doctor's hands. "Thank you for getting here so quickly."

The doctor chuckled. "With what you're paying me Jay, it's no problem. You know when you called me in such a panic, I thought there was something worse happened. Thank god right."

"Right," Jay agreed, walking the doctor out the door and immediately returning back to Erin's side. He had already taken off his jacket and was now in his white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, ready to watch over and take care of Erin through the night. He walked into her bedroom and ran a towel under cold water and walked back to her side. He gently sat down on the bed next to her and placed the cold towel on her forehead. Erin groaned at the cold sensation and he shushed her gently.

"It's going to make you feel better Erin," he said, almost cooing to comfort her. She shifted her head around a bit before settling back down and let him place the towel on her head. "You're going to be alright."

That was how Jay spent the night, getting up every so often to rewet the towel and made it cold again for her and placing it back on her forehead. The doctor was right, Erin had tossed and turned all night, in a restless sleep. She muttered incoherently in her sleep about being cold so he had tucked the blanket around her tightly then she was hot the next minute, pushing the blanket aside in a fit.

There was a moment in the middle of the night where Erin had opened her eyes and was lucid enough to notice him there. "Jay? What are you doing here?"

He ran his fingers tenderly on her forehead. "You have a fever Erin. I'm taking care of you." She had tried to push him away then, muttering in her sleep about how she was fine and how she could take care of herself. He shot her an exasperated look even though she couldn't see him.

"I'm your husband. It's my job to take care of you." She grunted, muttering some incoherent words to herself before falling back asleep and he just chuckled at her, feeling this rush of affection for her. "You're not really good at letting other people take care of you huh?" he said, more so into the night as she was deep in her sleep, unable to hear his thoughts. "I guess you didn't really have anyone to take care of you." He ran his finger down her cheeks, feeling the heat underneath his fingers. "That's okay. I'm here now. I'll take care of you."

It was as if she had heard him in her sleep and she burrowed closer to him in her sleep, catching him by surprise. He smiled at her scooting closer and closer unconsciously, mumbling about being cold in her sleep. He smiled, bringing her into his arms and kissed the top of her head, smoothing the soft strands until she felt more comfortable.

* * *

The doctor was right and the medicine that he gave her did its job and by the morning, Erin's fever broke. Her eyes fluttered opened and for the first time since last night, she was feeling human again. She looked up and saw Jay's soft eyes looking down at her, giving her a small smile.

"Jay?" she asked confused, wondering what was going on.

He just placed his hand on her forehead and tested the skin. "Hmm, you're feeling cooler than before. I think your fever finally broke."

"Fever?" she asked, still feeling confused.

"Yeah, you got sick last night and the doctor said you had a fever." She must have been completely knocked out because she wasn't even aware of a doctor being there. She looked at him again, confusion in her eyes.

"You took care of me?" she asked, like she was completely surprised. "You were here?"

"Of course, I'm your husband. Where else would I be?" he said it as if there was nowhere else he'd rather be. She let his words wash over her and she smiled.

Perhaps if she was stronger, she would've held back her tongue but she was weak and she couldn't stop the words that came out of her mouth. "I'm glad you're my husband Jay. I'm glad you're here." she whispered into his chest. And he smiled, dropping a kiss on her head and clutched her closer to his chest.


	2. Part II

Part II

Erin played with her fingers nervously, waiting for Kim to show up. She was finally going to see Kim again after suddenly quitting the diner and she missed her friend—her only friend really. Aside from Kim and Marty—the cook—Erin didn't have a lot of people in her life, some by choice and some because it was a necessity.

"Erin!" Kim arrived, engulfing Erin in a huge hug. "Girl, you're looking good." Erin smiled, Kim was being the same Kim as always—completely unmarred by the harsh reality of the world and a complete contrast to Erin. Sometimes it was nice to have the jolt of positivity in her life, god knows Erin needed it.

"You look great too." She really did. Kim was into fashion and was always complaining about spending most of her money on clothes. Kim appreciated the compliment and beamed at Erin.

"So how have you been?" Kim asked, leaning closer to Erin. "How's your husband?" She whispered as though it was some sort of big secret. "Gosh, it's so weird to even say that." There were five people in total who knew the whole situation of why she and Jay got married—obviously her and Jay, Will, Mouse, Kim and Marty. The latter two were only in the know because Erin had to tell them just in case someone came sniffing around, trying to find out the truth. But she knew she could trust them, Kim was her friend and Marty had always been protective of Erin. His only concern was Erin getting herself into a situation with a man she didn't know.

"It's fine."

"Are you kidding me?" Kim asked, annoyed. "You're married to a freaking multi-millionaire, a hot one I might add, and all you can say is fine? Come on, Erin. Give me something here."

"It's not like we got married for the conventional reason, Kim," Erin retorted, sipping her coffee. "You know the reason why."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Some secret agreement, blah blah blah," Kim waved her hand. "Gosh Erin, you're living in a perfect romantic scenario and you don't even know it." Kim leaned in even closer, eyes imploring Erin. "Now tell me, have something happened between you and this hot millionaire yet?" Kim's eyebrows were practically wagging, waiting for any sort of tidbit from Erin.

"Nothing!" Erin replied, trying to keep herself from blushing and give herself away. "We just try to stay out of each other's way."

Kim groaned. "You're so frustrating Erin! Every other girl would be dying to be in your spot. Now I've googled this Jay Halstead and he is freaking hot. Not to mention rich. And did I say hot yet?"

"Yeah you have," Erin shot back. "Several times."

Kim shrugged, giving Erin a grin. "Have you seen him naked yet?"

"Kim!" Erin gasped, feeling her face heat up. "I'm not answering that!"

Kim's eyes widened, mouth dropped. "Oh my god, you totally have! That's why you're blushing!"

"No!" Erin immediately denied, Kim shot her a look that she didn't believe her. "Okay, maybe I've seen him half naked but not completely naked and I'm not lying!"

"And how did he look? Because I'm imagining a freaking Adonis in my head. All chiseled and hard."

Erin thought back to when she saw him after he came out of the shower, dripping wet and barely covered by a towel. Yeah, she was definitely blushing now. "Well," she started. "You're pretty close." Erin was sure if the Halstead Enterprises ever went belly up and Jay needed a job, he'd be able to fall back on becoming an underwear model.

Kim was completely enthralled now, almost squealing. "I knew it!" she grinned. "And now you're telling me that you don't want any of that?"

"No, I don't." Erin sighed. "You know how I feel about relationships. I don't want or need that complication in my life. All I want out of this is my money and the nursing courses. I mean, is he hot? Yes. Is he sweet? Yes but it's me," Erin shrugged. "It's not for me."

Kim's face got serious at Erin's words. "You like him."

Erin was taken aback. "What? No," Erin immediately denied, shaking her head.

"You do," Kim shot back. "I can see it in your eyes. You like this guy and you're denying it to yourself."

"I do not," Erin denied again. "Yes, he's nicer and different than I'd thought he'd be and we get along better than I'd ever thought possible but me and Jay? No."

"Yeah? Tell your face that."

Erin's hand cupped her face, feeling the hot skin underneath her palms. "My face is fine. I'm just getting over being sick so that's probably what you're seeing."

"You're sick? You okay?"

Erin nodded. "Yeah, the doctor said it wasn't anything serious. Just a fever and residual effect of it. I'm hoping that it goes away completely soon though. I've had to cancel with Jake several times already and I really need to study more if I'm going to pass this G.E.D test."

"Whoa whoa whoa," Kim said, stopping Erin. "Two things. One, who's Jake? And two? You Erin, actually went to a doctor when you're sick?" Kim bent her head down and looked outside the windows, up at the sky.

"What are you doing?" Erin asked, watching Kim's behavior.

"I'm checking to see if pigs are flying," Kim replied. "Because they have to be if you're actually going to a doctor."

"It wasn't my choice," Erin revealed. "I wasn't even aware that the doctor was there but I was so knocked out from the fever and Jay called his doctor…"

"Aww," Kim gushed. "Jay was the one who called the doctor? He was worried about you."

Erin couldn't deny Kim's assumption. Even though she had just woken up from her feverish sleep, Erin saw the worry and concern in Jay's eyes. She still couldn't believe that he stayed up all night taking care of her. She never had someone do that for her before and he was the first. Even when she had tried to push him away—insisting that he left so he wouldn't catch whatever she got—he wouldn't budge, just shushing her and telling her to shut up and just let him take care of her.

"Ok he was," Erin admitted. "But just as a friend. Probably didn't want me vomiting all over his place or something," Erin said, trying to make light of the gesture, not wanting Kim to make a big deal of it. Kim just pursed her lips, not buying Erin's explanation.

"If you say so. So who's Jake? Is he someone you met at school? Is he the reason why you won't give Jay a chance?"

Erin sighed, Kim was like dog with a bone. "Jake is my G.E.D tutor."

"Oh, I didn't know you were taking the G.E.D."

"Yeah, I need it to take my nursing courses and the test is in like two weeks so Jay hired this tutor…"

"Hold up!" Kim interrupted, holding up her hand. "He hired you a tutor too? So not only was he worried enough about you to get you a doctor but he also hired you a tutor to help you? Are you sure there's nothing going on between you two? You can tell me, I can totally keep a secret."

"No Kim," Erin replied. "Nothing is going on."

"Maybe for you," Kim theorized. "Maybe you don't like him but I think he likes you."

Erin shook her head as though the idea was unfathomable. "No way, Jay doesn't like me."

"How do you know? From what you told me, it seems like he does."

"Trust me, he doesn't." There was no way in Erin's head that Jay liked her. He probably cared about her, sure, but only as friends. "I've met his ex-girlfriend and trust me, we're total polar opposites. He probably likes someone like her and I'm nothing like her."

"How so?"

Erin sighed, flashing back to when they ran into Ally at the store. "She's beautiful you know? Totally put together, fancy everything, hair, nails, clothes. And look at me, I practically live in my sweatshirt and leggings. There's no way I'm his type."

"Erin, you're beautiful." Erin shrugged Kim's words off, thinking Kim was trying to comfort Erin. "And I'm not saying that to make you feel better. You're a total babe and you just don't know it. Besides all you have described to me about his ex is her looks."

"It's not just her looks," Erin voiced. "I just needed a second and I could tell that she came from his world—rich, educated, good family. That's the type he's used to. I bet all my money that all of his exes are like her and that's not me. That's the opposite of me so there's no way he likes me." Kim was quiet at that and Erin didn't want to dwell on the subject of how inferior she felt in every way to Ally so she changed the subject. "Anyway, we didn't come to talk about Jay and his exes. I was wondering if anyone came poking around, asking about me?"

Kim let it slide, letting Erin change the subject. "Um not when I was on shifts but Marty said there was this guy in a suit that was asking some questions but he said he totally got your back and covered for you. But I think it was only once so don't worry."

"Oh good," Erin sighed. "Tell him thanks for me. And that I missed him. I missed you both."

"We miss you too. But we're happy for you that you're not working there anymore. You belong in a better place Erin. We're just so happy that you're finally getting a chance." Erin gave Kim a fond smile. While she missed her friends, she definitely didn't miss her job or the diner. She was finally moving on and after the next three months, her agreement with Jay would be over too and she could finally start the rest of her life that she'd been planning for a long time. She just hoped that her heart would still be intact by then.

* * *

"Jay, my man!" Jay watched as Antonio bounded down the steps, hands in his pockets until Antonio reached him and they greeted each other. "You doing good?"

"I'd be better if you tell me that the A.D.A is backing off my case so I can get these charges to go away."

Antonio sucked in his breath. "Wish I could, but he's still hounding around here like he smells blood. I mean can you blame him? A gangbanger and son of Chicago's Elite? No wonder he's pretty much salivating to nail you for drunk and disorderly and that idiot that shot himself for reckless endangerment and unlawful weapon charge."

Jay made a 'psssh' face. "I don't know why he's even wasting his time. Even if they charge me, it's a fine at most."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

"I do actually," Jay corrected. "I don't care about the fine. I care about the bad press. I mean I don't but I know my father does and if I screw this deal up for him…..let's just say seeing him once a year is already too much. I don't need him making more appearances in my life."

"I hear that. So then tell me something," Antonio crossed his arms. "Why are you back working for your dad instead of where you really belong? Here?"

Jay shook his head. "Tonio," he warned, making it clear that he didn't want to talk about it.

"Oh come on," Antonio replied. "I've said nothing when you quit four years ago. I've kept my mouth shut all these years. Come on man, I'm your best friend. Remember our dream? The one we had about becoming detectives and getting into Intelligence? Now I'm alone up there when you're supposed to be up there too and watch my back. What happened to that?"

"That dream is dead Antonio," Jay replied harshly. "We were 22 and grinding our way through the Academy, naïve, thinking that we could actually make a difference out there. But I saw that we can't so why bother? Why risk my life when I can't change anything or save anyone? It's a waste of time."

Antonio got up in Jay's face, nostrils flaring. "I risk my life every day out there, knowing I can get shot or die at any second. And I do it because I believe that I'm making a difference. That I'm taking the risk to leave my wife and my children husband and fatherless because it's worth it. Don't insult the badge and what we do here Halstead."

An apologetic look came over Jay's face, filling him with remorse. "Antonio, I'm sorry," Jay offered. "It's….I know you guys are making a difference. It's just…it's not for me. Not anymore."

"Jay," Antonio shook his head. "You think I didn't see that look in your eyes when you were looking up at Intelligence just minutes ago? You belong here. You should be here." Antonio sighed. "Look, you don't have to tell me okay? I know why you quit. I know why your dreams of becoming a detective and Intelligence suddenly changed and you went back to Halstead Enterprises. I don't need you to say it. But maybe I need to say this. It wasn't your fault Jay." Antonio said, emphasizing every word so Jay would get it through his head. "What happened wasn't your fault. You don't have to keep punishing yourself for it. Stop punishing yourself."

Jay didn't respond, just staring at a spot behind Antonio, silent. Finally, he just gave Antonio a small smile and started to leave. "Nice talking to you Antonio. Thanks for the update about my case. I'll catch you later." He heard Antonio let out a frustrated sigh at his back but he didn't turn, just continued walking out of the precinct, Antonio's words bouncing around in his head.

He needed a drink.

* * *

He poured himself a scotch, swirling the dark liquid around before taking a sip, letting the liquor go down smoothly down his throat. He needed that, especially after the confrontation with Antonio and the memories that he dredged up. Antonio didn't need to voice it but Jay knew that he saw him as a coward—one that ran from his demons and was now hiding behind his name by working for a father he despised, in a business he had zero interest in. Maybe Antonio was right, most days Jay felt lifeless going into his large office in their high rise tower downtown.

He stood up, glass in hand, and headed toward his walk-in closet, walking over to the back corner where he kept it—his police blues. He'd figured it was best out of sight, out of mind but after his conversation with Antonio, he needed to see it. He unzipped the garment bag and pulled the uniform out, running his fingers over the badge and the star. Maybe he missed being a police, maybe he laid awake most nights thinking of what would have happened if he didn't quit and actually became a detective. But the facts remained that he did give up on his dreams.

"Oh sorry," Erin's voice interrupted his thoughts and he turned around and found her standing by the door of the closet, mid-stepped. "I didn't know you were in here."

"No," he cleared his throat. "It's fine. Come in." She nodded, taking off her coat and hanging it back up to where it usually hung. She rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and came over to where he was standing, looking at what he was holding in his hands.

"Your uniform," she said, crossing her arms and standing close to him. "I didn't know it was here."

"Yeah," he let out an empty chuckle. "I keep it in the back on purpose." She just nodded at his explanation, eyes studying him. Then she stepped even closer to him and reached out to touch the name badge that read 'Halstead' on the uniform.

"It looks nice," she commented, smiling at seeing the name tag but her smile dropping when she saw the look on his face. "Are you okay?" She reached out to hold his arm and get his attention. In the months she had known him and been around him, there was only one other time she had seen that look in his eyes and that was when she saw the pictures of him as a cop and with his mother. Clearly, there was something heavy he was still carrying about his time as a police officer. She wanted to take away that look in his eyes. The faraway look was the complete opposite of the usual snarky glint he had in his eyes and it looked like it didn't belong on him.

He just nodded in reply, still deep in thought. She gently grabbed the glass of scotch he was holding in his hand and placed it on the drawer. "No you're not." She held his arms, turning his attention from the uniform to her. "Tell me."

He gave her a soft smile, more sad than anything. "I don't want to trouble you."

"Hey," she called him. "We're friends right?" He nodded. "Then it's no trouble." He still looked hesitant and Erin sighed. "Jay, you took care of me the other night. You stayed up all night and made sure my fever went down. Was I troubling you then?"

"Of course not," he immediately denied. He liked taking care of her, that was the furthest thing from trouble in his mind.

She smiled like she got him right where she wanted. "Then why would it be trouble for me? I want to listen."

He nodded, giving in. "I went to visit my friend Antonio today. He and I..we went through the Academy together, got put together on the same beat as rookie cops. And we always had this goal that we were going to become detectives together and get in this specialized unit. Only I quit before we could achieve that goal. Now he's right where we said we'd be and I'm…working for my father. And today he asked me why I wasn't there with him and I…I couldn't answer."

Erin listened as Jay spoke, lost in his thoughts. She had been surprised when she found out that Jay used to be a cop, not really seeing the heir working at a job like that. She just envisioned him in boardroom meetings, sipping champagne and caviar while hobnobbing with other businesses, talking mergers and acquisitions. Not wearing police blues, shooting guns and protecting people in what was essentially a thankless job. She had been curious to know why he quit before but seeing him look at his uniform longingly, she found herself wanting to know everything about him.

"Had it always been your dream? Being a cop?"

He nodded. "Since I was 9. Of course when I told my father, he flipped at the idea. Screamed about how Halstead men aren't public servants and don't work lowly jobs. I swear, he wanted to kill me when he found out that I enrolled in the police Academy after I graduated Brown. Instead he cut me off, thinking that was going to get me to quit and go crawling back."

"Really?" Jay nodded. "Please tell me you told him to take his money and shove it?"

Jay laughed, turning to look at her for the first time. "I wish," he replied. "I just kinda stopped talking to him. Just stopped seeing him, not that he was ever around much anyways. I moved out, got a place with Antonio and just kinda grinded it out." The look of surprise was clear on Erin's face at the idea of Jay giving up his family money all just so he can be a police officer. "Don't look so surprised," he teased, giving her a small nudge with his shoulders. "Told you I'm not just a pretty rich brat."

"I don't remember calling you pretty," Erin retorted but Jay responded by just waving his hand over himself, as if it was already a given. Erin couldn't help but chuckled, happy at the fact that that haunted look in his eyes was disappearing little by little. She guessed it was helping him to open up and talk about what he was thinking, instead of drowning his sorrows in alcohol. "So why did you quit being a cop and went back to your dad?"

His smile faltered at her question and he looked down, sighing. "When my mom passed, I didn't just lose her. I lost myself and the only person that was supported me becoming a cop. When my dad cut me off, my mom kept on giving me money, told me that it was her family money so I wasn't taking a penny from my father. That it was her duty as a mother to take care of me. She supported me all the way, put me through the Academy until I became a cop and got my own salary. She said that she wanted to support my dream. When she was gone, I just didn't see the point in continuing. And I quit and crawled back to my father."

Erin gently patted his arms. "Jay, it's only understandable that you needed time after losing the most important person in your life. But it's been years since then. Do you ever think about going back? Becoming a detective?"

Jay sighed, rubbing his face. "I think about it all the time," he admitted quietly.

Erin nodded in understanding. "Then why don't you?"

"That's a good question." He exited the closet and sat down on the edge of his bed. Erin followed behind and sat down next to him. "I don't know."

She bit her lips, thinking about what she wanted to say. "Can I tell you what I think?" Jay nodded, turning his face so he was looking at her. "You're scared." His brows furrowed at her words so she continued. "You know why I wanted to become a nurse?" Jay shook his head. "It's not just a way that's going to get me out of South Side. I've always wanted to become a nurse since I was a little girl."

"Why?" he asked, genuinely interested in hearing more about her life. She had shared so little of herself so he wanted to take any opportunity she was giving him to get to know her more. To learn more about Erin Lindsay, everything if she allowed him to.

"I was about 9 and my mom brought home this real catch of a boyfriend. Not only was he a drug dealer, he was also a pimp on the side. A real winning combo," she joked but he didn't find it funny, listening to what she had to endure in her childhood. "Anyway one day they got into this argument and he started slapping my mom around. So of course I jumped in and tried to stop him. I must have been 50 pounds at most and I just jumped on his back, scratching and clawing everywhere I could to get him off my mother and he just swatted me away like I was a fly on his windshield. I cried so loud that the neighbors heard and called the cops."

"Tell me they arrested that bastard," Jay added, angry on her behalf. She just smiled at him, nodding.

"Not before he threatened to kill me and my mom and I was so scared that he was going to get me. Then the police officer who was on the call took me to the hospital to get checked out and I was hysterical the whole way there, screaming about how I didn't want to go and leave my mom. And there was this nurse there and she was the most gentlest person I've ever met in my life at that point," she recalled the nurse that treated her wounds, soft and kind and gave her a glimpse of affection that she didn't have in her life. "She calmed me down, treated the cut I got on my forehead and when I had to stay overnight for observations, she tucked me in that bed and sang to me. I had never felt safer in my life. And I just remember thinking, when I grow up I want to be just like her. I want to make other scared little girl feel safe just like she did for me."

He held her hand and intertwined their fingers together, meeting her with a soft smile when she looked back at him. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. It makes my life sounds like a fairytale compared to what you went through."

"No Jay," she protested, holding to his hand tighter. "I didn't tell you that so you can compare and minimize your problems. Your pain is real. What you went through is just as important as what I did. Don't diminish it. I only told you because I know how you feel. Being a nurse was my dream since then and I lost that dream for the longest time. I was comfortable hiding behind the diner, going from one easy job to another until I realize that I was never going to be truly happy if I didn't at least try to reach my dreams. So that's why I started saving up for the nursing course, I know I at least needed to give everything I could. And I think you should too."

"You think I should go back?"

Erin nodded. "I think you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you didn't at least try," she said, honestly. "I told you, I've never seen you smile like you were in those pictures. That says something right?"

Jay didn't say anything, instead he just stared at her. Slowly, a smile came across his face, eyes crinkling at the corner like she was becoming too fond of. He leaned in closer to her and her breath sharpened. She couldn't move away, too paralyzed by the closeness and the smile on his face."I don't know. I think I'm pretty happy right now. Here with you." Her face flushed at his words and she bit her lips, feeling him lean in closer and closer, eyes searching for permission. She knew if she just reach over just a bit, their lips would meet. But instead she jumped up off the bed, creating some distance between them. Jay's smile dropped, his face looking confused and hurt at her reaction. "Erin," he started, standing up and walking to her. But she backed away further, needing that space between them so she could think clearly.

"I'm going to get started on dinner," Erin said, interrupting him and running out of the bedroom, feeling Jay and his confused eyes on her back the entire time.

* * *

She dropped the bags on the kitchen counter, a big smile on her face like she had a big secret, catching Jay off-guard as he was flipping through his iPad. He looked up at her, frowning at the look she had on her face and she knew he was confused. After all, she was the one that had been avoiding him for the last two days after the moment they almost had in the bedroom. But she just couldn't face him just yet. Not after what happened.

There had been a moment, or at least she thought there had been a moment. But thinking back, she thought it was almost ridiculous that he looked like he was about to kiss her. In her mind, there was no way. She wasn't his type. She wasn't Ally. She was just Erin. So she had been embarrassed at how she reacted, just jumping off the bed and running away. She knew he must have been confused about how she had been acting these past few days but she needed to gather herself and let the embarrassment die down before she interacted with him again.

Except it had been harder than she thought it'd be. She didn't know when or how it happened but over the past three months, he got under her skin and she didn't know how big of a part he became in her life until he wasn't there anymore. She had missed him. She missed seeing his messed up hair in the morning as he stumbled into the kitchen at the last minute before he finally went into his office late, she missed him bringing her dinner from his favorite take-out places because he knew she'd never ask if he didn't, she even missed him annoying her, distracting her whenever she tried to study in the kitchen, asking her questions of what she was studying. She was tired of avoiding him and it had only been two days so she decided that she needed to suck it up and put on her big girl pants and just face him.

"What's all this?" he asked her, curiously looking at the bags she placed on the counter. She gave him a smile, pulling out all the books she had bought out of the bed. His eyebrows rose and he picked up a book and leafed through one of the book. "Detective Procedures?"

She nodded, taking a seat next to him. "You don't know how many old bookshops I had to go to find these but I finally did." He still looked confused so she elaborated further. "Jay, you gave me back a dream by getting me the tutor and finding out that I needed to get my G.E.D"

"Erin," he cut her off. "It was nothing. I just googled a few things."

"Yeah," she pulled out a booklet out of the bag—a large stack of papers bounded together. "So did I." She handed the booklet over to him and he took it, looking through the pages. "I just googled some practice exams for the detective exams, printed them and had a guy bound the pages together."

"Erin," he gasped, his voice almost in awe at what she did. "You didn't have to do this."

She shrugged, waving his thank off. "I can't get you a tutor so I figured this was the next best thing."

"Wha..why?" he asked, going through the pages, eyes almost in wonder. "You did this for me?" She nodded, smiling at his reaction. "Why?" he asked again.

She bit her lips. "Like I said, you gave me back my dream. I wanted to do the same for you." He looked into her eyes, unblinking. "I thought we could study together. Me for my G.E.D and you for your detective exam. I mean, it's no biology so you'd have to do the work yourself," she teased, causing him to grin. "This way, we both could get to our dreams, together."

The look he gave her was so piercing that she found herself in a trance, just lost in his eyes. It wasn't until he pulled her into a tight hug that she found herself snapping out of it, her arms going around in return. "Thank you," he whispered into her neck and he buried his face in it. She just nodded, her mouth unable to return any words. But it seemed as though he understood her anyway and he pulled her tighter to him even more.

* * *

"Focus!" Erin chided, pointing down at the books that was spread in front of Jay.

"I am!"

Erin rolled her eyes. "On the books, not my face!" Erin replied, feeling her face heating up under his stare. They were studying together in the kitchen, like they had been every night for the past week, and Erin had been caught up in a book until she felt eyes on her. She looked up and saw Jay just studying her when he should have been studying his practice exam. She didn't know how long he had been watching her but the heat of his gaze had gotten too hot for her that she needed to take his attention off of her.

He grinned, shrugging. "What can I say? You're more interesting than the books." Erin couldn't help but rolled her eyes again. He was such a flirt and obviously knew that he was charming.

"Yeah? I'm not going be on the exams so you should probably pay more attention to that," she said, pointing to his books instead. He just laughed, nodding and turning his attention back to his books. Now it was Erin's turn to study him. She smiled to herself as she watched him focus and get lost in a passage from the book.

"This is strange," Will said, walking in to the kitchen and finding both Erin and Jay with their heads buried in books, cups of coffee in front of them. "I can see Erin studying but you Jay? I think I walked into the wrong house."

"Yeah you did," Jay shot back, looking up from his books and sending Will an annoyed look. "You must have thought you were in your house, just walking in without knocking."

"That's why you gave me a key," Will grinned, holding up the copy of the key in his hands.

"Yeah, I'm regretting that," Jay sighed. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Will dropped the bags of food he brought on the counter. "Family dinner!" he said, enthusiastically, making himself at home by going over to the cabinet and pulling plates out. "Come on, put those books away from now. The chicken piccata is getting cold." He divided the food into three portions and sat down on the empty stool across from Jay and Erin.

"Thanks for the food, Will." Erin took a bite and savored the tasty dinner. "It's good."

"No problem," Will replied, looking pleased with himself. "At least someone's appreciative." He glanced over at Jay who just took another bite without acknowledging Will. "Come on, at least tell me how it is. It's a new restaurant so I wasn't sure if it'd be good."

"It's good," Erin confirmed for Will, nudging Jay to give Will a reply with her shoulder. He sighed and placed the fork down.

"It's good," Jay uttered, "I just hope that this doesn't mean you coming for dinner is going to become some weekly thing or something."

"Jay be nice," Erin chided, Will sending her an appreciative look and Jay a smug grin. "You're welcome here anytime. But didn't you say last week that you had a date?"

"Yeah," Will sighed.

"I guess it didn't go well?" Erin guessed, looking at the dejected look on Will's face.

"You'd be right. She was just so boring and dull."

"Sounds like a perfect match for you," Jay teased, snickering at Will. Erin just smacked Jay for teasing Will when he was obviously down, giving him a glare.

"I'm just sick and tired of dating the same type of girls. They're all the same. Daddy's girls, spoiled by their fathers their whole lives and think that now it's my job to spoil them. And all they want to talk about is who's throwing which parties or what to do to get in the society pages. All the while, I just want to pluck out all my nose hairs just so I know I'm still alive." Erin chuckled, amused at Will's rant.

"So why are you dating the same type of girls over and over again? Why don't you go for something different?" Erin questioned.

"I guess it's just expected of me, I guess. Of us," he replied, pointing at himself and Jay. "Date the girls that can advance the company, instead of love or compatibility. That's why our parents got married. Same with our grandparents." Erin felt a rush of sympathy towards them. Sure, they had everything they needed material wise growing up but she realized it must have been hard for them growing up with expectations just as extravagant as their wealth. Despite everything she had to go through, she didn't envy their lavish upbringing at all.

"Then why don't you break the pattern? Date a girl that you actually like. Do you have someone in mind?" Will blushed at Erin's words, directing his gaze down to his food. "You do! Who is she?" Even Jay looked interested in Will's answer, leaning forward to wait for his brother's reply.

"There is this doctor," Will mumbled, "I met her at this foundation gala I was attending. I don't know," he shrugged, trying to make it look like it wasn't a big deal. "There might be something there."

"Why didn't you ask her out?" Erin questioned.

"Yeah I think I will actually," Will declared. "Now that my problems are solved, let's talk about yours." Erin and Jay both shot him identical confused looks, wondering what the hell Will was talking about. "I meant how long are you two planning on hibernating in here? Jay, you know that once Ally found out that you got married, that meant everyone in our inner circle was going to find out too. And they have been ringing my phone non-stop, calling asking me when they were going to meet the new Halstead wife. That's you Erin," he looked at Erin as if it needed to be stated.

"People are too damn nosy," Jay griped, shaking his head. "They need to mind their own business."

"Yeah until that happens you two are going to have to start socializing, start making appearances at these parties. Especially with the holiday parties coming up, there are too many happening that I can't stop them from asking questions and you can't avoid them all."

"Wait a minute here!" Erin held her hand up. "I didn't sign up for parties. I hate parties!" There was no way she was going to put on a dress and a fake smile, rubbing elbows with these millionaires and billionaires. Not only was she going to stand out like a pig in a field full of horses, she didn't even have a dress to wear.

"I know and I'm sorry," Will apologized, actually sounding remorseful. "But it would really help us out. Not to mention, it'd be perfect practice for when you meet our father and that party is unavoidable." Erin sighed and looked over to Jay who was sending her an apologetic look.

"They won't be so bad," Jay offered, smiling sheepishly. "Plus these parties have open bars." He winked at her. She shook her head, unable to keep the smile off of her face. She cursed him and his stupid charm in her head because she knew there was no way she could say no to him.

"Fine," Erin gave in. "But I'm taking advantage of those open bars."

* * *

Erin had decided that not only Kim was her best friend, she was a lifesaver. After Erin had lost her mind for a second and agreed to actually attend these parties, she had gone through her closet and every clothes she owned and found nothing she could wear that would be appropriate enough for the party. Jay had assured her that they would ease in and start small—just a small Christmas party. But Erin still had nothing to wear so she had to call Kim for help and within the hour, Kim had arrived to Jay's place with dresses in tow, ready to help Erin.

"How about this red one?" Erin looked at the short red dress Kim was holding up, shaking her head.

"I don't think so. Red is a bit bold for the party isn't it?"

"It's a Christmas party!" Kim argued. "Red is seasonally appropriate. Just try it on!" Kim practically shoved the dress in Erin's hands and pushed her to the bathroom so she can change.

Minutes later, she emerged and Kim's jaw dropped. "You look so good!" Kim exclaimed, clasping her hands together. It was a red satin number, off the shoulder and flared out at the bottom. Simple but sophisticated enough that Erin wouldn't feel too out of place among the Chicago's Elites. "You're just missing one thing," Kim said, approaching Erin holding up a necklace.

"No, Kim I couldn't. The dress is enough that I can't borrow the necklace too." The diamond necklace was beautiful but it was way too fancy for Erin. Kim just rolled her eyes and insisted, helping Erin put it on. Erin looked at her reflection in the mirror and almost didn't recognize herself. She had done her make-up and hair before Kim came over, just simple eyeliner and red lipstick and her hair was placed into a low bun, almost as if she knew the kind of dress she'd be wearing. She put on the simple black open toed pumps she already had and turned to Kim. "Do I look okay?"

Kim gave her a wide smile, holding her arms. "You look beautiful." Erin smiled back at her friend, appreciating everything Kim had done for her. "Now I'm going to go. You have fun at that party."

They walked out of the guestroom where Erin was getting ready and into the living room. Erin stopped Kim and hugged her again. "Thanks again Kim, for everything." Kim just waved her thank off and Erin walked her to the door, stopping in their tracks when the front door opened and Jay walked in, his jaws dropping when he saw Erin.

"Wow," he gasped, unable to take his eyes off of Erin. Erin bit her lips, blushing under his stare. He was looking like her like she just fell out of the stars. "You look beautiful," he voiced, stepping closer to Erin, eyes still glued to her, trailing her body up and down.

"Thanks," she whispered back as he got closer to her, his eyes now meeting hers. They just stood there, staring at each other, mouths parted like they both had something to say but unable to voice the words out loud. It wasn't until Kim cleared her throat that the moment broke between them. "Oh right," Erin stepped back a little bit, getting some space between her and Jay. "Jay, this is my friend Kim."

"Hi," Kim waved at Jay, shooting knowing looks between the two spouses. Jay just smiled, eyes barely glancing over at Kim before going back to Erin immediately. Kim got the hint and wanted to make herself scarce as quickly as possible, feeling like an intruder in the intimate moment between Jay and Erin. "I'm going to go."

Erin turned her attention to Kim and walked her to the door. "Thanks again." She pulled Kim into a hug and released her, but not before Kim's whispered demands to tell her everything later fell on her ears. Erin just rolled her eyes, chuckling fondly at her friend before sending her off. She turned back to Jay, who was still looking at her like he had never seen her before. And maybe he hadn't. After all, her current look was a far departure from how she normally dressed.

"You look beautiful," Jay told her again, making Erin smile.

"So the dress is okay?" Erin asked, nervously. She had never been to a party like this before and she was nervous. Even though the marriage between her and Jay was fake, she still wanted to put out a good impression and she definitely didn't want to embarrass Jay among his friends and the people he dealt with daily. Jay walked over to her until he was close enough that she could smell the lingering scent of his cologne.

"You look perfect."

* * *

Erin had never been to a party like this before. Jay had told her that it was a small party but clearly she and Jay had different definitions of small because this was definitely not small to Erin. It was taking place at a huge mansion and as soon as they walked in through the foyer, there was a massive Christmas tree at the entrance. The whole stairwells was wrapped around with wreaths and lights and in the main ballroom where the party was gathered, there was a huge chandelier that hung from the ceiling and Erin couldn't take her eyes off of it. There must have been over 100 people in the ballroom, all dressed to their nines, and all of their eyes immediately fell on them as soon as they entered, hand in hand. Erin didn't know how to react, having never been in this situation before.

"Just stay by my side," Jay whispered in her ears, noticing how nervous she was being. He grasped her hand tighter and entered the party, a smile pasted on his face as he began making rounds, greeting people and introducing her as his wife to the elites of Chicago.

"We were quite surprised to hear that you of all people had gotten married Jay. It was very unexpected." That had been the common theme of the night, people coming up to them about how surprised they were that Jay had gotten married and to someone they didn't know—an outsider from their usual inner circle.

Jay chuckled. "Yes but when you know you've found the one, there is no need to wait," Jay replied smoothly, wrapping his arm around Erin's shoulder while both of them gave off identical smiles. Just like they practiced. So far they had been selling it. Too well, in Erin's opinions because her heart kept skipping whenever Jay would introduce her as his wife and tugged her closer to him and she almost forgot that they were just playing a role, getting lost in the fantasy of actually being married to Jay because he fell madly in love with her. But he would always shatter the fantasy by whispering how they got away with one in her ears, joking around about how gullible people were. Erin didn't say anything in reply, just smiled back as much as she could all while chiding herself for actually thinking that there might have been something more between the touches and whispers and small acts of affections between them. Jay was just acting and he was a far better actor than she'd thought. She was the one who needed improvement, needed to stop herself before she fell further into the delusion that their marriage was real when it was anything but.

By about the twelfth time that they had repeated the same story, Erin had enough of it and she needed some space. So she had given some half excuse about needing to the hit the open bar and left Jay's side. With a glass of champagne in her hand, she surveyed the room from the bar on the side. Of course her eyes automatically landed on Jay as she watched him talk to Will before a group of men joined them, shaking their hands. Jay looked like he was in his element and despite his talks about hating his job and his family business, he looked pretty comfortable in this world, rubbing elbows and talking business with other wealth people. She watched him scan the room until his eyes landed on her and questioned with his eyes how she was doing. She waved him off, gesturing that she was doing fine and letting him continue his conversation. She sipped her champagne, suddenly feeling like a fish out of water at this party when she didn't know anyone or understood half of what they were talking about. She had just ordered another glass of champagne when she was approached by a middle aged woman, face full of botox and hair coiffed up with enough hairspray to deplete the ozone layer. And Erin could tell by the look in this woman's eyes that Erin was being cornered, the woman having found the perfect opportunity to get Erin alone so she could grill her.

"Erin? Is it?" Erin nodded, giving the woman the best fake smile she could. "Why are you standing here by yourself in the corner instead of by your husband's side?"

"I figure it's best to leave the men to their business," Erin replied.

The woman just nodded, scanning Erin up and down. "You're right. Now it gives us a chance to get to know each other better. So tell me Erin, I don't know any Lindsays so what kind of business do your parents do?"

This was the question Erin was dreading, someone being nosy and trying to get pass the surface details her and Jay had built up of how they met. "They're not in business." Erin wasn't going to lie or make up details about who she was. She wasn't ashamed of where she came from or what she went through.

"Oh, then what do they do? What do you do?"

Erin took a sip of the champagne and cleared her throat. "I don't know about my father because I've never met him and I haven't seen my mother in about 15 years so" she shrugged. The smile on the woman's face dropped, as if she was scandalized by her answer. "And I'm a waitress."

It was funny, Erin thought to herself, how much a person can change in mere minutes. When this woman first thought that Erin had come from a good family with good upbringing—despite from not being their inner circle—she had been nice, maybe too nice, knowing that Erin was married to Jay and the Halstead money that came with it. But as soon as she learnt that Erin was nothing like she had thought with a dead beat father and an absentee mother and she, herself, was a waitress, the pretenses dropped and now she was regarding Erin like she was a piece of gum stuck on the bottom of her shoes.

"Oh my," the woman gasped, almost outraged. "how could Jay marry someone like you? His father would be absolutely besides himself and his poor mother, gosh. She'll be rolling over in her grave. Does he even know who you are or did you tell him lies to get him to marry you?"

Erin fumed, ready to tell this woman off but before she could even get a word out, Jay appeared next to her, his own face filled with ire.

"I assure you Mrs. Griffin, I am well aware." Jay spat out, angry on Erin's behalf.

"Jay," Mrs. Griffin laughed awkwardly. "Surely, you have made a mistake. I thought it was sudden that you got married but I was willing to let it go but after finding out this, well," she said, as if she was so concerned about Jay. "Just think of your parents and your standing here. Your poor mother."

Jay turned red at the mention of his mother. "Don't speak of my mother, Mrs. Griffin," Jay almost barked and Erin had to touch his arm to calm him down, not wanting him to make a scene at the party on her behalf. He calmed at her touch, taking a deep breath before continuing. "As for my father, frankly I don't give a damn what he thinks. Erin is my wife and I love her. That's all that matters to me and to her. If you can't be perfectly civil to my wife and give her the respect she deserves, then I suggest that you leave us alone and let us enjoy the party without your presence." Jay grabbed Erin's hand and pulled her away, not waiting to hear what the other woman had to say to defend herself. He was breathing hard by the time they reached to the other side of the party, cursing under his breath at how Erin was treated.

"Jay, it's okay," she said, trying to get him to calm down and not be so angry. "It was my fault."

He directed his eyes at her, anger in them so clear. "What?" he spat out. "How was it your fault?"

"I shouldn't have told her about my parents or what I did," she replied, looking down. "I should've made up something about who I really was. I should have known better."

"Hey," he called, gently lifting her chin so she was looking at him. "It's not your fault. If anything it's mine. I should've warned you about these vultures here. This is why I hate coming to these parties. These people only care about the most useless things. You shouldn't have to lie about yourself." He let out a breath, leaning in closer to her. "I know that we're lying about why we actually got married but that's the only lie I want to tell tonight. I don't want or need you to lie about yourself."

"I don't want to embarrass you or make you look bad in front of them."

He let out a small chuckle, shaking his head. "You can't." he assured her, hands coming up to her shoulder and softly kneading the skin. "Look at you. Look how beautiful you look. I'm the luckiest guy in here tonight because you're by my side and these people think that you're mine. People will talk, no matter what. So let them. I don't care." He looked out at the dance floor, his face splitting into a grin. "We might as well give them something else to talk about." She followed his gaze and saw the couples gathered out on the dance floor, closely dancing together, turning back to him with wide opened eyes. "Dance with me?" he whispered, holding his hand out.

"I can't," she bit her lips before quietly admitting. "I don't know how."

He let out a soft laugh, gently brushing a stray hair from her forehead. "Follow me. I'll teach you." She couldn't deny him and the hand he was holding out so she joined her hand in hands and followed him to the dance floor. The light from the chandelier was directly above them almost like their own spotlight, making her feel even more self conscious. But his smile was reassuring and his hands on her waist was electrifying that she couldn't pay attention to anything else but him. He pulled her close to him until she felt his hard chest against her and he intertwined their fingers together. The smile never left his face and he bent his head down and whispered "just hold on to me and follow me."

She nodded, tightening her hold on his hand. "Don't let me fall," she whispered and as she continue looking into his eyes, it became apparent to her that she didn't know if she was just talking about the dance alone or him in general. Because she felt like his piercing blue eyes on her and his strong hands in hers were all she needed to fall—fall further into this fantasy in her head of him and she was terrified.

"I won't let go." She smiled as she followed his lead, moving her feet alongside his as they began dancing to the soft music that filled the room. They glided across the dance floor, her dress flaring out wildly on the bottom as he led her, spinning her around until she laughed gleefully and she landed back in his arms. There was a twinkle in his eyes too, matching hers, and his hand gripped her waist tighter and her own hand tightened her hold on his strong shoulders. '_It was so easy'_ Erin thought as her body and feet swayed from side to side along the music. It was so easy to forget about the reality and just get lost in the moment—this moment between the two of them as they danced in the room full of people but both of them not seeing other people as if they were the only two people in the world. It was so easy, Erin thought as she tucked her head under his, to just think of herself as just a woman in love with her husband as they shared a dance, instead of waiting for the shoe to drop and she returned to reality of what they really were.

* * *

"I can't believe you two!" Will ran his hands through his hair, frustration growing when he saw Jay just being nonchalant about the whole thing, making himself a cup of coffee. "Are you listening to me Jay?" Will snapped.

"Yeah," Jay muttered. "You're throwing a tantrum in my kitchen. What else is new?"

Will looked like he was about to hit Jay, taking a step before stopping himself. He took a deep breath, trying to control his anger. "Tell me something," he started. "Just why the hell would you two think it's a good idea to let out the fact about Erin's past at the party? Do you know just how much damage control I had to do when you guys left? I had people coming up to me left and right, talking about how concern they were for you. About how Erin was after your money!"

Erin stopped in her step as she was about to enter the kitchen. She had heard Will came in earlier and she was about to join him and Jay in the kitchen, thinking he was over for another one of his "family dinner", a tradition she was becoming quite fond of. But when she heard Will's angry shouts with Jay's blasé reply, she had been intrigued, that intrigue only peaking when she heard her name being said. So she just hid behind the wall, out of sight, so she can listen to what they were saying about her.

Jay chuckled. "Well, you know that she's not. Not really anyways so don't worry."

Will grunted. "It's not…I'm not worried about Erin being a gold digger! I'm worried about how the rest of society is going to see this marriage. Most of our friends and business partners were already not happy that you married a stranger instead of one of their daughters. And now that they found out that Erin's nothing but a waitress, they're talking even more about what a mistake the marriage was, how you married beneath you." Erin sucked in her breath, trying her best to not let Will's comment get to her. She knew she had messed up when she told Mrs. Griffin about who her parents were and what she did but the strange sense of pride she had that night had stopped her from making up more lies about herself. What was she supposed to say? She was some socialite from another part of the country and that her parents were too busy traveling the world in their private jet? That wasn't her.

"People really need to mind their own business," Jay muttered angrily.

Will rolled his eyes. "What? Are you new here? New to the world we live in? I told you and Erin to come up with a good story, a solid one but you guys didn't. Now I'm left cleaning up your mess!"

"We did come up with a good story!" Jay argued.

"Yeah of how you guys met!" Will shot back, just as angry. "But not about anything else!"

Jay slammed his hands down on the counter. "That's because I'm not going to have Erin lie about who she is! She shouldn't have to hide who she really is!"

"If she is married to a Halstead then yeah, she does," Will countered. He sighed, his anger dissipating a little. "Look Erin's great okay? I like her a lot but this whole thing between you guys, it's not real. And who Erin really is, a waitress at some diner in the ghetto, that's fine for who she is but that's not what people think of when they think of a Halstead wife and in the time she is married to you, she needs to fit into your world and who she really is doesn't fit in. She doesn't belong in our world Jay. So if that means lying about her past then that's what you guys should've done." Erin didn't need to hear anymore. Despite trying not to feel hurt by Will's words, she couldn't stop the tears from glistening in her eyes. She had thought that she and Will were good friends and despite everything, that he saw her as an equal. But hearing that judgment in his voice, it was clear that he clearly saw her as beneath him, not good enough for Jay and his world. She wiped away the tear that fell down and walked away quietly, her appetite suddenly gone after hearing the conversation.

Jay scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Be careful there Will. You're starting to sound a lot like dad," Jay sneered. "I'm done talking about this. It's too late to take back what was said anyways. So people found out that Erin was a waitress before she married me and her parents are who they are. They'll get over it. If not then that's their problem."

Will bit his lips, holding back his words before finally sighing. "Whatever Jay. At least you guys are only married for a couple of more months then you can get a divorce and put this whole thing behind us." Jay snapped his head up, looking like he had been slapped by Will's words.

"Yeah," he murmured, sadness coloring his tone. "Just a couple of more months left."

* * *

"You're not dressed yet?" Jay asked, looking confused at Erin who was still in her usual outfit while he was already in his suit. They had another party to attend tonight and Erin had been debating with herself all day on whether or not she should even attend. She had borrowed another dress from Kim just in case but hadn't put it on. She dreaded the thought of going to yet another party where she was sure there'd be people waiting to judge her.

"I was thinking that maybe I should skip this one?" Erin replied, tucking her hand in her hoodie's pocket. "That it's better for you to go by yourself."

"Erin, what's going on?"

Erin shrugged. "I just don't want to bring any negative attention to you and I just know that Mrs. Griffin or whatever her name is already told everyone about who I really am. I just don't want you to have to bring me and face the scrutiny."

Jay's eyes narrowed at her explanation and he stood in front of her, looking down at her while she sat on the couch. "Do you think I'm ashamed of you or something?" Erin was taken aback by the hurt that was in his voice that her head snapped up to study his face, seeing the look of hurt flashed across his eyes. She was at a loss for words, not knowing how to reply to his accusation. She didn't really think that he was ashamed of her, per se. But Will was right. They had come from such different worlds and she didn't fit in his and the party and the people that attended it were just going to be there to highlight it even more.

Erin had never thought much about where she came from, at least not as anything to be ashamed of. Sure, she realized that she came from the bad part of the city—the ghetto if she was being blunt—but she was too focused on getting out for survival's sakes instead of the optics and how it would look to other people around her. And aside from a few harmless comments here and there from Jay that highlighted their stark different upbringings, Jay never made her feel like she was out of place either. It wasn't until she put on the red cocktail dress and stood alongside the wealthiest of Chicago that she realized just how out of place she was.

"No," she replied honestly. "I don't think you're ashamed of me. But I just don't want to bring any trouble to you."

He didn't say anything, instead just sitting down in front of her on the coffee table. "Erin, in case you haven't noticed, I don't really care about what other people say. I mean you're looking at a guy that his dad cut off because he wanted to become a cop. Do you think I care about what all these other stuck up people say?" He reached for her hand that was in her pocket and pulled it out, rubbing circles in her palm. "Please come. For me? I only survived the last party because you were there to keep me from dying from boredom. How am I supposed to get through this one without you? I promise, I'll punch anyone out that even think about making a comment to you." She laughed, unable to stop herself, and sighed, giving in.

"Okay," she relented, unable to deny him when he was looking at her like that.

* * *

Erin quickly realized that wealthy people had their own game, their own way of making you feel terrible about yourself. They didn't do it outright like she was used to. Instead they had a whole another level for passive-aggressiveness where they didn't make snide remarks to her face. No, they gave her fake smiles as they came over to greet her and Jay. Then when Jay had his back turned or when he wasn't looking, they gave Erin the cold shoulders and Erin saw a group of the women gathered across the room, clearly whispering about her to each other. Whereas at the other party, people were practically clamoring to talk to Erin and find out more about her and Jay, they ignored her like she was a pariah at this party, staying far away but still gossiping about her all the same. But as Erin couldn't confront them outright, she just gritted her teeth and pasted a fake smile on her face while not letting the stinging tears in her eyes fall. There was no way she was going to give any of them the satisfaction of knowing that they got to her. Erin might not have money or a good upbringing but she still had her pride.

"You okay?" Jay asked, worriedly as he handed her a glass of champagne. She downed the alcohol quickly and nodded. He still looked concerned about her, not believing her, but before he could say anything Will came over to where they stood.

"Jay, Erin." Will greeted them. Jay returned his greeting with a small nod, still acting cold towards his brother for their conversations the other day. And Erin did the same. She couldn't help but acted differently around the older Halstead brother after hearing what he really thought of her. Will slightly faltered at the way Erin responded to him, different from her usual warm smiles but he quickly recovered. "I just came over because I wanted you guys to meet Natalie." He waved his hand over and a woman came over to where they were standing. "Jay, this is Natalie, my date for the night. Natalie, this is my brother Jay and this is Erin. Erin is.." Will paused slightly.

"My wife," Jay finished for Will, nothing but certainty and pride in his voice. "Erin is my wife." If Natalie noticed the tense moment between the two brothers, she didn't let on, just shook their hands normally.

"Natalie is the doctor that I mentioned." Erin nodded, smiling at Natalie who seemed nice enough. It was clear that like her, Natalie didn't come from their world either but with the title of the doctor, Natalie carried herself with enough confidence to get by and the title had enough pull among the wealthy that Will didn't need to lie about who his date really was. Erin was really becoming mad at herself. This wasn't her. She didn't go around, comparing herself to others nor was she one to let other's words get to her. She didn't know why she was being like this but she hated it all the same.

"Nice to meet you Natalie," Jay just said, grabbing Erin's hands. "But excuse us, I have something to show Erin." They didn't wait for Will's response before leaving the room. They exited the house and Erin followed Jay as he led her outside, not telling her where they were going. They walked further and further from the main house and into the massive backyard, surrounded by trees and a garden.

"Jay?" she called his name, wondering where he was taking her without a word. He just looked back at her and smiled, telling her without words to trust him. So she did, following his lead until they stopped in front of the small pond—now frozen from the winter—in the backyard of the house, trees around the pond decorated with lights. "What's this?"

Jay didn't respond, instead he walked over to the bench that was nearby and picked up the two pairs of ice-skates that were on it, walking back over to her with an excited grin on his face. She looked back at him, shock clearly on her face. "Ice skating?" she chuckled, almost in disbelief. "Is this even okay here?"

He nodded. "This is Mouse's house. You've met Mouse right?" Erin nodded, still looking at Jay in disbelief. "His family usually have their family's kids over to play ice hockey here. But I thought you and I could take advantage of that and just go ice-skating," Jay explained, handing over a pair of ice skates to Erin.

"What about the party?"

Jay shrugged. "What about it? We've made a long enough appearance there, don't you think? Besides I can't stand anyone in there. I'd rather be out here with you. Unless of course, you'd rather be inside.."

"No!" Erin answered him immediately, causing him to laugh. She looked at the ice skates she was holding in her hands. "It's just.." she paused, biting her lips.

"What?"

"I don't know how to ice-skate," she admitted quietly. Jay nodded understandingly, holding out his hand and leading her over to the bench. He sat her down and knelt down in front of her, taking off her shoes for her and putting the ice skates on for her, lacing up the shoes. She could only look at the top of his head as he concentrated, making sure the skates were on tight and when he looked back up at her, she felt her breath being taken away. He mistakened the sudden inhale of breath as her being cold so he stood up, taking off his suit jacket and wrapping it around her bare shoulders. Then he worked on getting his own skates on.

"Ready?" he asked her, standing up and holding out his hands so he could help her up. She still looked nervous and unsure at him and he just gave her a reassuring smile, pulling her up gently and holding her close so she wouldn't fall. "I got you." He promised as he led her slowly over to the pond. She stepped onto the ice and immediately almost slipped but just as he promised, he was there to catch her and hold her up, her arms going around him in an attempt to not fall down. He laughed at her predicament and she just returned a glare at him, muttering how it was his idea that she was like this in the first place.

The residual of his laugh sounded in her ears and he pulled away slightly so she could stand properly on the ice. "You got this," he encouraged her, holding her body weight up as she tried to stand without falling on the ice. "Okay, hold onto me and just move your feet." She did as he instructed and slowly moved her feet, pushing each one off to move forward. He was holding onto her, giving her a sense of security as she moved slowly, following his lead. They stayed close to the bank of the pond, letting her get her bearings before they ventured out to the middle.

"You're doing great!" Jay cheered but he spoke too soon as she moved too fast on one foot and lost her balance. Her feet tried to remain steady on the slippery ice but couldn't and she toppled over to the edge of the pond into the pile of snow, pulling Jay down with her, his body landing in a loud thud next to her, kicking off the pile of snow until it landed on them everywhere.

She looked over at him worriedly about being hurt but as she watched him sputter snow out of his mouth, wiping the white stuff away with his hand, she couldn't stop the laughter that came out. Pretty soon, the barely held back snickers became full on laughs and she laid back down on the ground, laughing at the indignant look on his face. He was still spitting out snow and looked over at her in disbelief before his own face broke out into laughters too, joining her.

"Alright," he finally said, controlling himself. "That's enough laughing at my expense, especially when I only fell because of you!"

She took a breath, trying to stop laughing. "It's not my fault!" she argued. "I told you I don't know how to ice-skate!"

"Mmmhmm," he just hummed, nodding and giving into her. He rested his weight on his elbow and turned to his side so he could look at her. She looked up at him, the sky full of stars on the back of him yet even the brightest star in the sky didn't match the light that were his eyes, staring down at her. He didn't say a word, just continued looking at her as she laid in the snow, eyes on eyes. Finally, he moved away and stood up, wiping the snow off of himself. Then he reached out his hand and waited for her grab it so he could help her up. He pulled her from the snow until she was standing again, face to face with him. He gave her a tender gaze, slowly reaching out his hand to wipe away the snow that had gathered in her hair before trailing his hand down to wipe away the snow that had fallen on her face.

"Come on, you almost got it," he said, breaking the moment between them and he led her back out on the ice. "This time, try not to think so much about falling. You're being so tense that you're having a hard time balancing. Just listen to your body and hold onto me and you'll get it." Erin nodded, trusting in Jay's words and followed his instructions.

* * *

"I almost got it! Watch!" Erin paused and readied herself before she pushed off on one leg and spun around, quickly trying to regain her balance after completing a spin. "Oh my god! Did you see that? I so got it!," she shouted excitedly as he skated over to her, Erin reaching out to hold onto his shoulders immediately, an excited look on her face. Jay had an equally excited look on his and he clapped, cheering her on.

"You did," he said. "You totally got it!" They had been skating out here for hours already and by the second hour, Erin had gotten the hang of ice skating. But of course Erin being Erin, she wanted to push herself and had been determined to do at least a complete spin on the ice. Jay was hesitant at first, not wanting her to get hurt but she had been stubborn so he had let her be, encouraging her by her side instead. She had fallen a few times already but always waved his help off, wanting to do it by herself. But he just bit his tongue, hands reaching out but stopping himself every time she had fallen over. She had been adamant about wanting to do this herself so he knew he needed to back off. And after a couple of hours and many more times of Erin falling on her ass, she had finally got it.

The look on her face was blinding and he felt equally proud of her as she was of herself. That was he had come to admire so much about Erin-just how determined she was about everything and how she never gave up. He was so proud of her so he voiced it, his arms still around her while she had her arms around his neck. She smiled back, showing off those dimples that he had fallen for and he lost his breath and his train of thoughts and he was rendered speechless, unable to do anything but keep on staring into her eyes.

She blinked, dimples unwavering and she leaned her head. "Thank you," she whispered so close to him that her breath ghosted over his face.

"What for?"

She licked her lips. "For always teaching me new things. Giving me new experiences that I've never had before." He sucked in a breath, her voice sounding so sincere that he didn't know how to respond. He swallowed, wanting to let her know his own appreciation for her.

"Thank you," he said, leaning in even closer. She looked confused so he elaborated. "For showing me what it's like to not give up on anything." He took a risk and brought his hand up to brush her hair and tucked it behind her ears. She remained silent, mouth parted at his action. "For being you."

He remained lost in her eyes, the power of her gaze and the pull she had on him. He didn't want to take his eyes off of her, his body away from her. She belonged in his arms, he was sure of it and he never wanted to let her go. But something shifted in her eyes and he knew the moment was fleeting away. It was like the walls had came back down around them and he felt her pull away, getting some distance from him and she was looking at everywhere but him. He tried not to feel disappointed and hurt at her actions. He had thought they were having a moment like they've been having lately but each time, something had pulled her away and he was left wondering if he was just imagining the change in their relationship in his mind or if she felt it too. But for every instance that he thought she felt the same, there had been another instance where she proved the opposite. And he didn't know what to do.

"It's getting late," she said, her voice sounding strange and she had her arms around herself as if she was protecting herself—from him. So he just sighed and conceded.

"Let's go home," he said, not wanting to do anything but spend the rest of the night out here with her under the stars and the soft lights from the tree.

* * *

"Okay last question. Let me make it a good one," Erin flipped through the booklet she made for Jay as he sat across from her, elbows on the counter.

"Shoot!" he said, confident that he was going to get the answer right. She just gave him an evil grin over the book as she looked for the hardest question she could find.

"Alright, evidence is divided into three classifications: direct, real and circumstantial. What is an example of a direct evidence?"

He gave her a scoff. "Really? That's your idea of a difficult question? At least make it hard for me."

"Okay smart guy," Erin countered. "Then what's the answer?"

"A testimony of an eyewitness describing something he observed." He smirked at her, knowing he was right. She wrinkled her nose, groaning that he got it right. "See, I'm brilliant."

"That was way too easy," Erin muttered, flipping through the book again for an even more harder question. But Jay grabbed the book and placed it down despite Erin trying to pull it out of his reach.

"No way! That's not fair! Now it's my turn to ask you a question." She crossed her arms, gesturing him to shoot her a question. "Alright, what is the difference between mitosis and meiosis?"

She thought over the answer. "Mitosis gives off identical cells to each other and the mother cell while meiosis leads to genetic variations due to crossing over and independent assortment." She looked over at him expectantly and he put the book down, nodding.

"You got it!" She grinned proudly over at him. "Now you don't have to worry about being behind in class and not knowing the difference between the two." She just chuckled, recalling the conversation they had before about her fear of being the dumb kid in class. "You're going to kick ass on this test Erin. I just know it. And when you pass this test, I'm taking you out for the biggest steak in Chicago."

"And when you pass for detective exam? What do you want?"

A boyish grin overtook his face. "Your spaghetti, definitely," he replied without having to think. "That'll be my special present."

She looked over at him fondly. Despite all the fancy parties they've been to lately, this was her favorite way of spending time with him. Just the two of them in their kitchen, studying. There were no need for pretenses here, no need to put up an act for strangers around them. They were just themselves, helping each other get to their dreams and it was everything Erin needed.

* * *

Erin wrung her hands nervously as she entered the party. She had almost gotten used to attending one holiday parties after another with Jay but this one was different. This party was being thrown by the Applegates, the family that Halstead Enterprises was about to complete a deal with and one of the main reason why they had gotten married in the first place. And not only that, she was finally about to meet Jay's father. Jay had been trying to put this off for the longest time, not wanting Erin to deal with his father but his father was going to be at this party, to complete the deal so there was no way to avoid him. Hence, the nerves that were filling Erin's stomach.

She knew she wasn't the only one feeling this way. Jay had been tugging at his tie the whole night and even Will was acting strangely. It was almost ridiculous just how much hold their father had over them. Erin had gotten a new dress for the party—actually Jay had gotten her a new dress. Not to mention, shoes and the beautiful jewelry set that currently adorned her neck, ears and wrists. She was content to just go with another borrowed dress from Kim but Kim was adamant on buying something new since she didn't have a dress that was fancy or appropriate enough for the party. This wasn't just another cocktail party, this was practically a ball, not that Erin had ever been the one. So Erin had been browsing the internet, looking for a dress that she could actually afford when Jay had caught her and asked her what she was doing. She had given him a vague answer but he saw right through her, slapping his forehead and blaming himself for not thinking of it sooner. She had insisted that she wanted to pay for her own dress, not wanting to use his money but he was insistent—claiming that she was the one who was doing him a favor and there was no way he was going to let her pay for the dress.

He wouldn't let her argue, just quickly getting on his phone and making arrangements for her. And the next day, she and Kim had been whisked off to shopping adventure of a lifetime. The driver had instructions from Jay on where to take Erin and at the stores, the salesgirls already knew what kind of event she was going to and what she was looking for. Erin had tried to get a peek at the prices, not wanting to spend an exorbitant amount on a dress she was probably only going to wear once, but apparently Jay had already beaten her to the punch and instructed the salesgirls to not let Erin see the prices. Instead he wanted her to choose a dress that she loved, that she felt beautiful in and when she stepped into the floor length crimson gown, held together by thin straps in the back, leaving most of her back bare, she knew it was the dress. With a few diamond jewelry and a pair of shoes that cost more than Erin made in a month, her whole ensemble was complete. And judging by the way Jay reacted when he first saw her, jaw dropped and eyes filled with a type of hunger that she hadn't seen before in his eyes, she knew she made the right choice.

"You'll be fine." Jay squeezed her hands, reassuring her. Erin could only nod as she followed him down the steps to the party. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned to her, earning a curious look from her. "You look so beautiful tonight. I just wanted to tell you that again."

She blushed like a schoolgirl under his appreciative gaze, feeling his eyes on her body like he was undressing her with his eyes. There was a electric charge between them as she gazed back at him, equally appreciative of how handsome he looked tonight in his black tux, hair slicked back, clean shaven and the red ascot in his pocket, standing out against the black background.

"If you two could stop having sex with each other with your eyes, Dad's here and he's looking for you." Will interrupted them with his presence, Erin blushing even more, looking down at the ground while Jay shot daggers at Will. But Will wasn't even pay attention, just pulling Jay and Erin towards the party. "Dad, Jay's here."

Erin took in a deep breath as she found herself in front of a man, late fifties with graying hair, making his already stern face even more stern. He was intimidating, that was for sure, as he barely glanced over at Jay before his eyes landed on Erin, scrutinizing her under his stare. Erin tried to hold her head up, not wanting to see this man think he could intimidate her.

"Jay," was all he said, giving Jay a slight nod. "I had to hear from your brother that you got married without my knowing. I'm guessing this is the wife?"

Jay returned an equally tight nod. "Dad, I like you to meet Erin, my wife. Erin, this is my father Patrick Halstead."

"It's so nice to meet you Mr. Halstead," Erin said, trying to be nice to him for Jay's sakes. "I am sorry that you weren't able to be there for our wedding but it happened so suddenly that we weren't able to have our friends and family attend."

Pat Halstead grunted. "From what I have been hearing around here, you don't have much of a family that would've attended the wedding anyway." Erin didn't know how to respond so she just remained quiet.

"Dad," Jay warned.

"And I also heard that you are a waitress," Pat continued, ignoring Jay's warning. "Is that correct?" Erin nodded, holding her head up. "Is that what you are still doing? Or plan to do for the rest of your life?"

"No," Erin replied. "I'm actually studying for my G.E.D and starting nursing courses soon."

"A nurse," Pat almost spat out, like it was something to be embarrassed of. "I guess it is a step up from being just a waitress."

"Dad!" Jay cut him off again.

"What?" Pat asked, as though he was innocent. "I'm just trying to get to know my daughter-in-law here. A daughter-in-law that I knew nothing about before you married her. Erin doesn't mind right?" Erin shook her head, not wanting to make waves between the two men. "See," he turned back to Jay. "Now I've heard from Will that you have been taking more initiative in the family business. That you practically closed this Applegate deal by yourself." Jay nodded. "That's good to hear son. Despite some questionable choices you have made with your life," Erin held her tongue back, trying not to let the snide remark bother her, "I am glad to see you becoming more involved with the business. I'm proud of you son." Pat held out his hand and Jay shook it, surprise written in his face that his dad was actually praising him for once. Erin watched as the father and son interacted, realizing that the crux of the problem between them was Jay feeling like he was never good enough in his father's eyes. But the small approval his father had given him had seemed to melted some of the ice between them and the three Halstead men stood, actually in a civil conversation with each other for the first time in years.

* * *

"You wanna dance?" Erin took Jay's offered hand as he led her out to the dance floor. She rested her hand on his shoulders as his hand came around her back, fingers dancing along the bare smooth skin that was left exposed by the dress. "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" Jay said, pulling her close.

"Once or twice," she replied. "But it's something a girl could never hear enough of."

He grinned, bending his head down so their faces were just inches away from each other. "You're so beautiful. You're the most beautiful woman in this room, not just tonight but every night." She shivered slightly as he reached up to brush her hair away, his eyes gazing down at her mouth. She parted her lips, almost inviting him to just reach and kiss her like she wanted him to but he held himself back, Erin trying not to feel disappointed at that. Instead he pulled her even closer to him and she laid her head on his shoulder as they continued their slow dance to the song.

The party had been going well enough in Erin's opinion. Most of the people were still ignoring her, pretending that she didn't exist but she had learned to brush them off just the same. She wasn't going let them bother her anymore. Beside Jay was acting like her protector, not leaving her side, daring with his eyes to let someone come and bother her. Erin saw Pat approach them again and she instinctively stepped closer to Jay. There was just something about Jay's dad that unnerved her and she knew that despite the nice act that he had put on earlier, he definitely didn't approve of her being married to Jay.

* * *

"Jay," their attention was directed to the other side where two women approached them.

"Mrs. Applegate, Fiona." Jay greeted them, trying to be polite.

"Pat!" The mother greeted as Jay's dad arrived next to them. "How have you been?"

"Very good Linda," Pat replied, greeting the mother-daughter duo affectionately. "Fiona. Both of you are looking even more beautiful than before."

"Oh you've always been such a sweet talker," Linda gushed. "Now I know where your boys got it from."

"Jay," Fiona spoke up, calling their attention to her. "I was wondering if you could spare me a dance? Like old times?" Both Linda and Pat looked excited at the prospect while Erin tried not to glare at the woman asking brazenly asking her husband for a dance in front of her.

"Um actually," Jay replied, about to deny Fiona's request but Erin had caught the look on Pat's face and her flashing back to the moment earlier when Pat had praised Jay and the look that was on Jay's face. She knew that if Jay had denied Fiona this request, it would just create more tension between Jay and his father and she didn't want to be the reason for that.

"It's fine," Erin spoke up, trying to give a convincing smile that she was okay with Jay dancing with Fiona. "Go ahead." Jay still stood in place, shaking his head.

"No it's okay," Jay spoke over her, shaking his head, not wanting to leave Erin's side.

"Jay, it's just a dance!" Pat interrupted them. "It's not like you two are going to get married just from a dance. Besides, Erin doesn't mind right?" He looked over at Erin who just nodded. "See, she's fine with it."

Jay still looked unsure, not moving even with Fiona practically tugging on his arms at this point. Erin knew she needed to push him to get him to go so that was what she did. "Go Jay," she said, pushing him slightly into Fiona. "I'll be fine." She felt Jay's gaze on her the entire time as he reluctantly left, following Fiona out on the dance floor. Pat just smiled, satisfied at seeing the two out on the dance floor.

"Shall we get a drink ourselves?" Linda asked Pat and the two of them left, not even bothering to greet Erin like she didn't exist. Not that she minded, her eyes were too busy watching as Jay danced with Fiona, the people around them looking at them though they were the perfect couple. As if Erin was at a prom and everyone was gushing over the Prom King and Queen while she just watched by the sideline.

"You know I thought that I was going to end up with Jay," Erin turned her head to see Ally standing next to her, her eyes also on Jay and Fiona. "But when that didn't happen, I just thought it was going to be them two." Erin didn't reply, just pretended as though she wasn't listening. "It's a shame," Ally continued, not even caring that Erin was trying to ignore her. "Their parents were really set on them getting married. I think that's why the Applegates even agreed to their deal in the first place. That they were entering into a business deal with their future in law. You could tell just how surprised everyone was when we found out that Jay had married you, a waitress. I mean talk about the scandal of the year." She chortled as if it was amusing. "You know Fiona speaks five languages and graduated with honors from Harvard. I mean that's the type of skills you need to be married to someone like Jay Halstead. Could you just imagine just how much her language skills would have came in handy when he negotiate major deals with foreign companies? How many language do you speak Erin? Let me guess. Two. English and whatever type of English they speak in the ghetto."

"Are you done now," Erin spat, turning her eyes away from Jay and Fiona and back to Ally.

"I'm just speaking the truth here," Ally said, too sweetly. "That's the type of girls Jay should be with, someone on his level, someone sophisticated, wealthy, beautiful. Not some waitress from the bad side of town."

Erin rolled her eyes and glanced back at Ally. "It doesn't matter if I'm in the picture or not Ally, it's not going to change the fact that Jay would have never picked you anyway. You can stand here and pretend that you're not fuming with jealously at seeing him with someone else but we both know the truth."

Ally glared at her. "And you're not jealous?"

Erin smiled, shaking her head. "No he could dance with her all he wants because the person that he's coming home with at the end of the night is me." With that, she walked away, leaving Ally with gaping mouth.

* * *

_'Fuck this!' _ Erin thought to herself, needing to walk away and get herself a drink. She stalked over to the bar and ordered herself a glass of scotch, needing something strong to wash away this tight feeling inside her chest. Despite her trying her best not to look jealous in front of Ally, now that she was by herself she couldn't deny that she was jealous and hurt. She knocked back the alcohol and asked for another one immediately. She needed to be drunk if she was going to get through the rest of the night. And when the bartender placed another glass in front of her, she quickly knocked that back too, reveling in the burn as the liquid went down her throat. At least the burn from the alcohol was better than the burn she felt in her chest.

"Whoa, I know these parties suck but you should take it slow," a guy said, coming over next to Erin. Erin barely spared him a glance before helping herself to a third glass. "Hey," the guy pulled the glass back. "I'm serious. Take it easy. This is the hard stuff."

"Thank for the concern but I can handle my liquor," Erin bit back, brushing the guy's hold on the glass.

"Suit yourself," the stranger held his hand up, conceding. "So are you going to share what has you knocking these back like they're jello shots?"

"Nope!"

He chuckled. "Come on, I've been told that I'm a good listener."

Erin turned to look at him and rolled her eyes. "No offense but I don't talk to strangers about my feelings."

"I'm Kelly Severide," he said, introducing himself. "Now I'm not a stranger." Erin just shook her head, annoyed by this Kelly who obviously thought he had more game than he thought. But she just wanted him to leave her alone and let her wallow in her misery by herself. "Now what's your name?"

"I'm married." Erin held up her ring finger, hoping that he'll see her fake wedding ring and would leave her be. But instead he got even closer to her.

"Yeah? So?" She scoffed, shaking her head at this guy. "A ring on your finger doesn't mean anything. At least not to these people here." He reached over and trailed his fingers up her arms, giving her a seductive look. "So why don't we leave your husband and just go have some fun? Because the way I see it, if he left you alone while you look this good, he doesn't deserve you anyway." Kelly leaned in closer to Erin and before she could push him off and tell him to get the fuck away from her, Jay stepped in, pushing Kelly's hand off of her arm and pushing him away so hard that Kelly stumbled.

"Hey!" Kelly shouted, Jay's sudden appearance taking him by surprise. "What the fuck?!"

Erin had never seen Jay look this pissed off before, he was practically red with anger. "Stay the fuck away from my wife! She already told you to back off!"

Kelly just chuckled, holding up his hand. "Hey, I was just trying to keep your wife company. She was looking so lonely here."

"That's not your problem!" Jay gritted, getting in Kelly's face. The last thing Erin wanted tonight was to cause a scene, not with Jay's father being there so she knew she had to stop this fight before it got out of control. She stepped in between them and held Jay back by placing her hands on his chest.

"Let it go Jay!" she ordered, trying to get his attention away from Kelly. "I'm okay. Let's just get out of here!" Jay was still glaring at Kelly, looking like he was ready to punch him out. "Hey!" Erin reached up and held Jay's head and directed his gaze down to her, his eyes cloudy with anger. "Please, let's go. Get me out of here." It was like he heard the pleading in her voice and saw the tiredness in her eyes and he calmed down enough and nodded. He sent a final glare at Kelly's way before grabbing her hand and led her out of the party.

* * *

The entire car ride had been silent, tension mounting between them. Erin didn't feel like saying anything so she just placed her forehead on the car windows, watching as the buildings passed them by outside. The entire night had been a disaster and really, she just wanted to get in bed and just sleep the night away. She didn't want to think anymore about Jay's father or the image of Jay and Fiona dancing together or Ally's words that had been playing over and over again in her head.

They finally arrived back home and Jay opened the door, letting Erin in. Erin just wanted to get inside her guestroom as quickly as possible but it seemed as though Jay had a different plan in mind.

"Can we talk?" Jay called out, trying to stop her. She sighed and turned around.

"I'm really tired Jay. Can we do this tomorrow?"

He shook his head, taking off his tux and tugging his tie loose. If it were any other occasion, Erin would have paid more attention to how hot he looked right then, just disheveled but her heart was heavy and occupied and the voice inside her head about how he wasn't really hers and how she wasn't good enough for him was getting louder by the minute.

"Why were you flirting with Kelly Severide?" She looked at him in surprise, at how he almost sounded like he was hurt.

"I wasn't flirting with him!'

"It sure looked like it from where I was standing!" Jay shot back. "I mean he had his arm on you and if you two were standing any closer, you'd be on his lap."

Erin scoffed, anger mounting inside of her. "Are you kidding me right now? From where you were standing? You mean on the dance floor dancing with Fiona? If you want to talk about not having any space between two people then you should start with yourself."

"I didn't want to dance with her," Jay protested, hands on his hips now. "You were the one that practically pushed me in her arms after I already told her 'no' so you don't get to be mad at me. I don't care about Fiona! I don't like her or see her like that!"

"Yeah well, I don't care!" She was in denial, she knew that but maybe if she said it enough time, she'd be able to convince herself that she didn't care that he was dancing with another girl that was far better suited for him. "So you can dance with her or Ally or any other girls as much as you want!"

"Ally? What the hell does she have to do with this?" Erin didn't reply, instead she just turned back around. But Jay was quicker and he stopped her, grabbing her arm and turned her back around. "Erin, what the hell is going on with you? I thought….I thought there was something between us." He was looking so vulnerable, like he was taking a chance and finally addressing this growing feelings between them. "Was I….Am I the only one in this?"

She couldn't meet his eyes, not with him looking at her like he was searching deep into her soul. "Jay," she sighed. "Maybe all this pretending and going to these parties, maybe the lines are getting blurred between us." She knew it had been for her. It was easy to pretend as though they were a normal married couple, in love and married for the right reasons, whenever they attended these parties. Her heart always skipped a beat whenever Jay introduced her as his wife, gave her affectionate touches and looked at her like she was everything. He was so convincing that she had forgotten that it was just an act and she had let her guard down and she fell for him, completely. It was only when the harsh reality of the differences in their lives slapped her in the face that she finally realized that despite her feelings, it was just a fantasy, a dream that she was living in.

Jay shook his head. "I don't want the lines getting blurred." Despite trying her best not to, she couldn't help the hurt that came across her chest at his words. What did he mean? Did he want just strictly a platonic relationship between them?

"Okay," she finally returned back. "Then we'll just reestablish the lines, make sure the lines don't get blurred again."

"No," he interrupted her, cutting her off. "I don't mean I don't want blurred lines. I meant," he swallowed, sounding nervous all of a sudden again. "I don't want any lines between us. At all."

"What?" she gasped, confused at what he was getting at.

He brought his hand up and cupped her face, skimming her jaw with his thumb as he looked at her tenderly. "Erin, I thought I knew what I was getting myself into when we started this. That it was supposed to be easy. Never in a million year I would've thought that I'd meet and get to know someone as amazing like you," he started. "That I'd meet someone so strong and stubborn but so determined that I couldn't do anything but admire her. I'd never thought that I'd meet someone so beautiful, inside and out that just seeing you in your hoodie and leggings could still take my breath away just as easily as when you wear the most beautiful dress."

"Jay," she uttered out, her voice shaking but Jay continued, still holding her face.

"Or that I'd fall this hard this fast for you, so much so that it scares me. Because I don't know how you feel about me. I've spent nights just tossing and turning in my bed, just staying up wondering if you were feeling about me the way I feel about you." He let out a small chuckle. "Sometimes I think you do. The way you look at me and I'd be so happy, thinking that you feel the same. Then there are other moments when you're such a closed book Erin that I'm left trying to decipher every words that was said between us, trying not to read too much into them but unable to help myself. Because I'm absolutely crazy about you." He leaned in closer, eyes on her as though he was searching for something. "I've fallen in love with you Erin. I love you. And if you don't have any feelings for me at all then stop me right now because otherwise, I am going to kiss you."

She knew that even if she had gained the strength of Hercules right now, she'd still wouldn't be able to stop him. Not when she wanted—needed—him to kiss her just as much as she did. He let out a tentative smile as he leaned in closer slowly, almost as if he was afraid she'd stop him. But she couldn't and she didn't. All she could do was close her eyes and waited with anticipation for the moment when his lips finally landed on hers and she just melted in his arms.

The tentative touch of the lips quickly turned to something more passionate as they turned their heads to the perfect angle and deepened the kiss. His arms wrapped around her, clutching her to him as she let herself fall apart in his embrace, lips meeting lips, letting him pry her mouth open and granting him access to everything he wanted. He buried his hands in her hair and he pulled her head closer to him. Erin gripped his shoulder, softly moaning into the kiss, feeling his fervor grow at the sound. His fingers were now playing with the straps on the back of her dress and his palms were sending heated touch to her skin. She felt his fingers reach up about to pull the straps down and finally she regained her senses and she pushed him away.

She tried not to look at him, not wanting to see the look of confusion and hurt in his eyes.

"Erin?" he was still breathing hard but the confusion was clear in his voice as she began backing away from him. "What's wrong?"

"I can't do this!" Erin stammered out as she quickly ran off back to her room. She heard Jay's footsteps following behind her, confused at the sudden change in her actions. But she didn't stop, she couldn't face him right now. Finally when she reached the guestroom, she quickly entered it and slammed the door closed.

She could hear him on the other side of the door. "Erin?" he knocked but she had locked the door and leaned on it, closing her eyes. "Erin, just answer me!" he pleaded from the other side. "I'm sorry if I pushed you too much but please, just come out." She couldn't, she wanted to so much but she couldn't. Instead she just walked over to the bed and sank down at the edge of it.

"Erin," Jay was still on the other side, still apologize and she could hear the anguish in his voice, breaking her heart. "I'm sorry," he repeated and Erin could no longer stop the tears that wrecked out of her chest, sobbing. She was the one who was sorry. Sorry for making him feel like he did something wrong when she wanted him to kiss her as much as he did. But this was better for him in the long run. She wasn't right for him and the sooner he understood that the better. He belonged with the Ally's and Fiona's of the world, not Erin Lindsay. So she'd happily take the pain and would rather fall apart in her bed if it meant Jay would get a better future, one far better than he could have with someone like her.


	3. Part III

Part III

She was avoiding him. She'd been avoiding for the past week and he was losing his mind. After she had pushed him away and basically locked herself in the guestroom, he had backed off, thinking that she needed time and space to process what had happened between them. But one day turned into two, then three and now it had been eight days since he had kissed her and he hadn't seen her since. Who knew she would be so good at avoiding him? They lived in the same penthouse but it might as well be different countries considering the length she had gone to so she wouldn't have to see him. She had taken refuge in the guestroom and hid away in there until she was sure he had left the penthouse in the morning. Then by the time he got home, she'd be back in the guestroom instead of in the kitchen or in the living room where she'd usually be before the kiss. And each day that passed, his hope that she'd acknowledge the kiss dwindled more and more.

_The kiss._

As much as he wanted to kick his own ass for kissing her and causing her to hide from him, he couldn't deny that the kiss was everything to him. He had been dreaming and fantasizing about kissing her for weeks now and he had finally done it. And it was more amazing than he ever thought it could be. To have her so close to him, to have her in his arms, he didn't think it could get better than that. But her reaction afterwards was like a bucket of cold water washing down on him, sobering him up and reality slapping him in the face that despite what he thought—_wanted and hoped for—_maybe she didn't feel the same way about him as he did for her.

And that was a painful truth to swallow.

That maybe he had imagined all the looks, laughs and smiles that they shared over the past couple of months, where she had looked at him like she saw something good in him—a contrast from the disdain she had regarded him with in their earlier days. Maybe just because he was so in love with her that he had fooled himself into believing that she felt the same way about him. Maybe he had been the fool all along and allowed himself to forget about the arrangement and let himself believe that they were in a real marriage. And maybe he had just completely fucked this up beyond belief and pushed her too far.

He had all these maybes running around in his head and no matter how many glasses of scotch he had drank tonight wasn't helping. He sighed, running his fingers through his hairs and tugging at them in frustrations, willing his eyes to not look across the penthouse at the locked door that remained closed. The one that had her behind it. He hated that she was dodging him, he hated that they both couldn't be adults about this and just talk and get everything out in the open. But what he hated most was that he had caused her to feel like she needed to run from him, like she was scared of him. The sick feeling that overtook his stomach whenever the notion that he might have pushed her too far and scared her rose up again and he hated himself.

All he wanted to do was to fix it and after days of debating with himself and trying to find any other to fix it but failing, he knew just what he had to do.

He held the yellow manila envelope in his hand and paused before opening the door, leaning his head on it. He was tired of having Erin hide from him and he knew he had to fix everything. And as much as he didn't want to do what he was about to do, he had to put her first and go through with it—no matter how much pain it would cause him.

He took out his keys and placed it into the lock and opened the door to his penthouse, knowing that Erin would still be in the kitchen thinking that he'd still be at work. That was why he had come home a couple of hours early, hoping to catch her before she cocooned herself in the guestroom again so she wouldn't have to see him. And just as he hoped, she was sitting at the kitchen island, frozen in place at his appearance. She definitely wasn't expecting him, judging by her body language and she quickly shook herself out of her stupor and made to flee once again but he was quicker and stopped her in her path. They needed to talk and clear the air, once and for all.

"Wait wait wait, Erin," he stood in front of her path, causing her to stop but she was still avoiding his eyes, looking down at the floor instead of him and it hurt, knowing that she couldn't even look at him. "Please." He wanted to reach out to her and hold her but he didn't want to make things worse so he held himself back, aching at having her so close yet so far.

"I need to go," was her quiet reply, trying to get around him again but he stepped in front of her again. "Jay."

"Please," he pleaded again. "Just listen to me okay? Please. Just five minutes and I promise Erin, I'll let you go." He curled his hand into a fist so he wouldn't give into his urge and touch her. "I just want to fix this so just five minutes."

She remained in her spot, still avoiding his eyes but nodding, giving him the chance he'd been waiting for over a week. "Thank you," he breathed. "Erin, I'm sorry." He needed to apologize to her, make her see just how sorry he was for putting her in this situation and taking advantage of her and kissing her. "I'm sorry that I kissed you and ruined things between us. That was…I read into things that weren't there for you and I'm sorry." He sighed, words were tumbling around in his heads, countless apologies were on the tip of his tongue but he was having a hard time getting his words out in a coherent way he wanted them to. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "God Erin, I fucked up completely and I don't know what else to say." He rubbed his mouth with his hand, loathing himself for putting them in this position. She still wasn't meeting his eyes, keeping them glued to the floor, the fridge, anywhere else beside him. As much as he hated the fact she wouldn't meet his eyes and he could tell by her body language that she was dying to get away from him, they needed to get everything out in the open.

"Erin," he tried again, "Please look at me." She must've heard the desperation in his voice because she slowly lifted her head and finally met his eyes. He sucked in his breath, getting lost in the depth of her hazel eyes after not seeing them for so long. She was just so beautiful and he was just so in love with her. He tried to smile but he was sure it came off as more of a grimace than anything. "I'm sorry."

She closed her eyes, shaking her head. "Please stop saying that." Her voice was hoarse and she sounded broken and he hated himself even more for her current state, knowing that he brought them here with his rash actions.

"I need to say it though. I have to say it so you'd know just horrible I feel about everything." He ran his tongue over his lips. "I hate that I ruined things between us. Everything was going so well when it was just the two of us and it was just so easy for me to fall in love with you and make myself forget about our situation. I fooled myself into thinking that I wasn't alone in my feelings because I wanted it so much. I wanted to believe that for you, it was more than an agreement too. But it's not and I need to accept that." He nodded his head, trying to force himself to accept that she didn't feel the same way about him as he did for her and that he needed to let her go. Let her be happy and not force her to spend the next three months hiding away in a room, trying to get away from him. He was desperately in love with her and that meant he needed to put her first. "I hate that I made you feel like you can't be in this house. That you can't be around me anymore. That you need to hide away in that room so you can feel safe. I don't ever want you to feel like you're not safe or that you need to hide. And that's why as much as this kills me, I got you this."

He handed her the envelope he was holding in his hand and waited for to open it to see what was inside. She slowly opened the envelope and pulled out the papers inside.

"Divorce papers?"

* * *

Erin felt her breath completely sucked out of her at seeing the stack of papers in her hand. Divorce. He was giving her a divorce.

"What?" She couldn't get a full sentence out, completely take aback by this sudden twist.

Jay gulped, like he was bracing himself for what he was about to say. "Yeah," he began. "Erin, you spent the last week hiding away from me in that room because you couldn't bear to see my face. Because I pushed you too far and took things to where you didn't want them to go. And I can say I'm sorry over and over again but I know it's not enough. And I don't want to make you spend the next months hiding away until the arrangement is over and you can be free." He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing at the action. "So I'm setting you free. You can be free from me."

She didn't hear half of the things that he was saying, her head too stuck in the word 'divorce' alone to process anything else. What did make their way inside her ears showed her that Jay was truly thinking that she didn't want him. That she didn't feel the same way about him. And that was the exact opposite from the truth. He didn't know that she only avoided him because it was the best thing for him. He didn't know how hard it was for her to be push him away when he kissed her because that kiss just made it even more clearer to her that she loved him. She was in love with Jay Halstead. Tears gathered in her eyes, feeling disdain for herself for making him think that she didn't want him. For making him blame himself thinking that he was at fault when it was all hers. She wiped away a couple of stray tears that fell from her face.

"Jay," she took a deep breath, unable to take her eyes off of the divorce papers. "Divorce…."

He nodded. "I want you to be happy and as much as I wanted to be the one that makes you happy, I'm not. And if this is what's going to make you happy then I'll do it."

"What about your case?"

"I don't care about the case, the bad press or the business deal," Jay immediately replied. "I don't give a damn about anything else. The only thing that I care about here is you." He really was too good for her, Erin thought. Here he was being completely unselfish when he was obviously still hurting because of her. Because she made him think that he had pushed her too far with the kiss.

"Jay. It's not…you didn't do anything," she stuttered, debating whether to tell him the complete truth or not. She was at a fork in the road, knowing that the divorce would be the best thing for him—for her to be completely out of his life, away from him, so he could move on and be with someone far more suitable for him than her like Fiona or Ally. But there was a selfish part—the one that loved him—that was having trouble letting him go, for him to be completely out of her life, for her to continue on without seeing his face every day, without talking to him, being around him. Was she ready for that?

He studied her expression, his own eyes scrutinizing the anguish that were written clearly on her face. "Erin?" He exhaled. "You don't feel the same way about me right?"

She met his eyes for a quick second, seeing the poorly hidden hope in them, waiting for her answers and she needed to look away if she was going to walk away from him. She brought her eyes back to the ground, where it was safer for her. "Erin." He was calling her name again, like he saw something when she looked at him. Something that he didn't see before.

He stepped closer to her, finally reaching out to touch her arms. "Erin," he tried again. "I meant it. I am completely in love with you. I'm crazy about you and everything about you. I'm crazy about the way you are so ambitious and determined to reach your goals that I can do nothing but admire you. I'm crazy about the way how you can be across the room from me in a room full of people and you'd still catch my eyes and make me lose my breath because you're so beautiful. I'm crazy about the way I'd be next to you and you'd turn and look at me and I'd lose all rational thoughts in my head. And you smile at me with your dimples and I lose my mind at that because those smiles keep me up at night. And I'm crazy about the way you make me want to be a better person, that you motivate me to better myself because you see right through all my bullshit."

He reached into her hand and grabbed the divorce papers from her. He gripped them in his hands, his tight hold on them forming wrinkles at the corner.

"If I could, I'd be married to you for the rest of my life. But like I said, the most important thing for me is that you're happy and if you're not happy here then I can let you go. I can sign these papers. But I want to hear you say that you don't feel the same way about me." Erin snapped her head up at his request. "Tell me Erin, tell me that you don't love me and I'll let you go." She was at a loss for words, mouth parted unable to form any sort of reply to him. "Tell me, please. I need to hear you say it."

"Jay," she stuttered, her mouth began to quiver, tears starting to come down her face. He just held her face in his hand and stared into her glistening eyes.

"Please," he begged again, his own eyes starting to glisten with unshed tears too. "I need to hear you say the words. Tell me Erin. Tell me you don't love me. That you don't feel the same way about me. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me." She sucked in her breath, trying to stop the sobs from coming out. "Please."

"I don't…I don't love" she began, stammering, but she knew she couldn't do it. There was no way she could look into his eyes and let those words come out of her mouth. Not when her heart was screaming out in pain at just how much she loved him. "I..I can't," she admitted, tilting her head down.

He closed his eyes like he was relieved and brought his forehead to hers, one hand on the back of her neck, leaning against each other. He let out a deep sigh, eyes still closed and their faces just inches away from each other, their breath mixing. "I can't," Erin repeated. He just nodded, Erin feeling the motion against her forehead and he brought his other hand on her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"Erin," he breathed out. He finally managed to lift his head away from her but he remained close, waiting for her open her eyes and look at him. When she finally did, there was an elation in them, so pure that she almost forgot that even though she couldn't tell him that she didn't love him, it didn't change anything between them.

"Jay," she started, pulling his arms away from her, his smile dropping at her actions. She took a step back and steeled herself. "Just because I can't say the words doesn't change anything between us."

Confusion made its way to him and he shook his head in disbelief. "What?" He rubbed his jaw again, his hand coming to rest on the kitchen island like he needed support. "Erin, why?"

She shook her head, picking up the divorce paper and ready to head back into her room. She needed space. She needed to get out of there so she could make a rational decision—one that would be good for him—and she couldn't do that if she remained in the same room at him and he was looking at her with nothing but love and hope.

"Erin!" He called her name but she didn't stop, continuing her way back to the guestroom. "Damn it," he cussed, slamming his hand on the counter. "Just stop please! Just stop and talk to me!" He sounded tortured and that was what caused her to finally stop. He took the chance and came over to her, holding her shoulders again—whether to just hold her or so he could stop her just in case she decided to flee again, she didn't know. "Just talk to me. Let me inside your head. Don't we owe each other at least that? After everything?"

She gave in, knowing that he was right. He did deserve the truth. After all, she had callously shut him out for the past week and made him wallow in self blame when he didn't do anything wrong. And she just knew that if she ignored him this time, he'd go back to do the same and she didn't want that for him. "Okay."

"I don't know what you're thinking here Erin," he started. "I don't know what to do here. One minute I think you hate me for kissing you and I give you an out but you tell me you can't say that you don't love me. Then you pull the rug out and say nothing's changed between us and I'm left reeling here. I just…I just want to know what you're thinking. I want to know how you feel about me. About us. So please let me in."

"I can't say I don't love you because I'd be lying if I said that," Erin began, knowing that she was hurting Jay badly right now. "But we can't be together Jay. Not like how you want us to be."

"Why not?" Jay countered. "It's okay if you don't love me right now Erin. I just want a chance for us to try things for real. Don't….don't worry about not loving me. I love you more than enough for both of us and maybe one day, you'll get there. All I'm asking for here is a chance. Give us a chance and see how great we can be together."

She let out an empty chuckle, her heart constricting at his words and the sincerity behind them. She cupped his face and ran her thumb across his jaw. "I love you Jay," she confessed. After holding those words to herself, it felt good to finally say them out loud. It felt good to let him know that she loved him just as much as he loved her, if not more. "I'm in love with you too."

There was no words to describe the pure giddiness that overtook his face at her confession, his face splitting into a huge smile at her words. "You love me?" he asked, almost as if it was a dream and he couldn't believe it. She released a small smile, nodding.

"I love you," she reaffirmed her feelings. She needed him to know that she loved him and that no matter what, she wanted nothing but best for him. He thought he needed to let her go to make her happy but it was the opposite. She was the one that needed to let him go for him to get what he deserved and he deserved far better than her. "And because I love you, I can't be with you Jay."

He dropped his hands that were on her and took a step back, like she had just slapped him. "What?"

She sighed. "You deserve better than me Jay and you and me? It's not a good idea."

"I deserve better than you?" he asked, his tone becoming angry. "Is this what the whole thing's been about?"

"It's the truth!" she retorted back, voice matching his. "Look at you and look at me, Jay. You're everything a girl could want. You're handsome, rich, educated and the fact that you're actually a great person just add to your list of perfection and you should be with someone like Fiona, someone just as good looking, just as rich and educated. Someone that you can have on your arms at parties and know you can be proud of her. Someone that your friends and family doesn't look down on and embarrasses you."

"What?" he sounded utterly lost. "Did my dad or Will say something to you? Is that what brought this on?"

She scoffed. "No," she replied. "It's just the truth Jay. We can hide out in here and avoid the blatant truth that we're just too different and come from different world but out there, we can't. We're not from the same world."

He narrowed his eyes at her, his hands cocked to his hips. "I don't care about the world Erin!" he shouted, hoping he could get through to her. "I don't care about anyone else!"

She let out a sad smile. "Jay, we can pretend all we want when it's just the two of us that it doesn't matter but when we're out there, it just keeps slapping me in the face that I'm not good enough for you."

"I don't care!" Jay protested, his arms reaching out to hold her again. "I love you and you said you love me and that's all that matters."

"You deserve better."

"You're the best person I know so if you really believe that, then you're the person I deserve," Jay argued back.

"No, I'm not," Erin refuted. "There's a lot about me that you don't know. Things I've done in the past. The person I was."

He scoffed, shrugging his shoulders. "So everyone has a past. So what?"

She shook her head, knowing that he didn't get it. The true ugliness of her past and who she used to be. "Not like mine. There are things about me you don't know."

"Then tell me," Jay implored, both with his words and his eyes, almost begging her. "Let me in and tell me. Tell me every so-called horrible things you've done in the past and let me show you that I'll love you anyways. Let me in and let me get to know you Erin. The good, the bad, everything."

She brushed off his hold on her, bringing her arms across her chest like they were walls built to keep him out. If he wanted to know then she'd tell him. Then maybe then he would finally see that she wasn't for him and walk away. Maybe he'd finally see the light that he deserved better than her.

"Do you know what I was doing when I was ditching classes?" she began, keeping her voice steady as best she could. "I was selling myself on the corner for a dime bag because I just needed a fix that badly that I was willing to sell my body for. I was willing to blow any guy if he had enough money to offer me. I was street trash. I was a teenager hooker Jay and I am not the person for you. Can you just imagine what people in your life would say if they heard that you married a teenage hooker?" She exhaled after finishing her story. She was tired and she just revealed her horrible dark secret about herself and now he finally knew the whole truth. And she was sure he'd be running for the hills by now. Who wouldn't after seeing that she used to work the street as a teenager and that she used to be a drug addict? She braced herself for his reaction. Just because she wanted him to see the light about her didn't mean that the moment when he did would hurt any less for her so she avoided his eyes, waiting for him to finally walk away.

"Is that supposed to scare me?" Jay asked. "Turn me off? Make me see you as some disgusting person because you got dealt a shitty hand in life?" He wasn't walking away. If anything, he moved closer to her and he tilted her head up with his finger. "Because I don't." She could see in his eyes that he was telling her the truth. He was looking her the same way that he had before—like she was something to be treasured. There were no hint of disgust or repulsion in his eyes like she was expecting. "I don't care about the past Erin." He gripped her arms, keeping her in place like _he _ was the one afraid of her running away instead of the other way. "I don't care where you've been, what you've done, who you were. That was the past-Erin. I care about this Erin. The one that's standing right here in front of me. The one that got her life on track despite everything life has thrown at her, the one that studies until late at night because she is dead set on improving herself and making something better of herself, the one that put others ahead of herself like me because she wants better for me. I care about that Erin and I love that Erin. I want to be with that Erin. No one else."

"What can I do to drive you away? Make you see reason that I'm not good for you?"

"Nothing!" he replied, sounding absolute. "As long as you love me, I'm staying here. And if you don't love me anymore then I'll go but I'll still love you anyway."

She gritted her teeth. "I don't love you," she bit out, hoping that it would be what she needed to make him see the light. But it didn't work because he didn't let go of her. He stepped even closer, his face so close to her.

"I don't believe you." He bent his head down so close that she could see every freckles on his face, count every dots like they were stars on the clear night sky. "Say it again" he said like he was daring her. His lips were ghosting over her and she could feel him all around her—his body, his hand, the scent of his cologne. Every sense of hers was filled by him and she was too weak to put up a worthy fight. Not when he was holding her so close to him and his eyes…_god, his eyes!_ They still looked at her the same even after finding out about her dark past. She didn't stand a chance against him.

"I love you," she finally gave in, unable to fight the fact any longer. He let out a small smile before crashing his lips on hers, kissing her like she had never been kissed before. And maybe she hadn't. At least not like this. Not so passionately that she felt every inch of her body burst into flames and she couldn't help herself but pull him closer to her and it still wasn't close enough. He deepened the kiss even more, tongues coming into the fold and she was grateful that he was holding her or otherwise she literally would've swooned right there in the kitchen. She shivered in pleasure as his mouth traveled down to her neck, kissing the path of skin. She stopped thinking, losing all coherent thoughts. The only thing on her mind then was him and just him. She leaned her head to side, giving him more access, all while she dug her fingers into his hairs and tugging at the soft and silky strands. His hands were roaming all over her body, leaving her writhing under his heated palms before they finally found home on her hips. He pulled his mouth off of her to look at her face, almost like he was asking for permission. Permission to take this all the way and she couldn't refuse, managing to give him a small nod before he resumed his mission to drive her crazy and spark her alive.

He lifted her up by the hips and her legs automatically wound around him, her arms tightening around his neck like she was holding on for dear life. She felt herself being moved but she was too busy kissing everywhere she could on his face and his neck, Jay releasing a groan when she found a spot by his ears. She smirked like she found a treasure and focused her attention on that spot, feeling him get harder, her own arousal spiking at feeling him. She didn't even realize that he had brought them to his room until he laid her gently on his king sized bed and she was left to look up at him. She gazed into his eyes, seeing the lust in them like he wanted to rip off all of her clothes and a jolt of electricity charged through the room. She got up on her knees and reached out to him who was still standing next to the bed. She reached out to tug him closer and slowly she pulled off his blazer then immediately getting to work on the buttons on his shirt, releasing each button in a hurry before tugging that off too and throwing it over his shoulder. Her hand explored his bare chest, feeling the smooth and soft skin before meeting the contrasting stomach that was all hard and rippled and that dipped in all the right places. She leaned forward to kiss his pecs and he placed his head on top of hers before pulling her head up to seal his lips over hers again.

It was his turn to unclothe her and he did it so deliberately that goosebumps formed all over her skin from his touch. Finally when they were both equally bare, they just stayed still for a minute, eyes taking each other in and breathing against each other.

"You're so beautiful," he voiced, hands slowly caressing her shoulder. She smiled, feeling truly beautiful under his appreciative stare and she caught his lips in a tender kiss that quickly turned passionate yet again. His arms tightened around her until she was completely up against his chest and she gripped his shoulder in pure pleasure. Then as gently as he could, he laid her down on the bed and his body followed until he was hovering over her, staring down at her. He reached out with his fingers to softly caressed her face before tucking a strand of hair behind her ears, Erin smiling at the tender touch. There was just something so intimate about the way he was looking at her, holding her that she had never experienced with anyone before. And she wanted even more of it so she brought her head up to rejoin their mouths together.

Then it was a frenzy of limbs and lips and she drowned in complete pleasure of his touch and his body. She moaned loudly when his hands cupped her breasts, she gasped unabashedly when his fingers entered her folds, and she bursted into flames when he finally entered her. He cupped her face with both hands and crushed his lips against her in unrestrained fashion like he couldn't get enough of her and her of him. Soon enough, the controlled pace of his hips driving into her flew out the window and the sound of pleasure that came out of her mouth awoke something in him—something feral, something desperate. She gasped louder, pleasure building more and more as he drove into her again and again, giving into her demand to go harder and faster. There was a desperate meeting of lips, frenzied and messy, as she clawed his back unable to hold herself back. The heat that rose from every inch of her body and the friction that was building by the second finally erupted as she came, her body quivering from keen pleasure of the most powerful climax she had ever had in her life and just seconds later, he followed, waves of guttural groans coming out of him as he reached his own high and he reached his own climax. He could no longer hold himself up and he collapsed on top of her and she welcomed the weight, holding him closer to her, both of them panting, trying to regain their breath. He kissed her almost languidly and she smiled into the kiss, completely satisfied and more than amazed that lovemaking could ever be like that.

* * *

She was completely spent. Her legs felt like jelly and there was still a thin sheet of sweat covering her body and she had never been more satisfied and content, being in Jay's bed. He was lying on his back, Erin half on top of him, one of his hand on her back while one of hers was drawing patterns on his chest. The room was quiet and the only source of light came from outside the window and it was perfect, both of them basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking and finally taking their relationship to the next level. She tilted her head that was resting on his chest up to look at him and took in the perfect features that made up his face—his blue eyes, his sharp nose, his chiseled jaw and of course, those delicious lips that always seemed to be formed into a smirk. A smirk that she was becoming too fond of. He seemed deep in thought about something and she became more curious by the second at what was running through his mind.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, still absently running her fingers on his chest.

He tugged her closer and brought his head down to look at her. "I was just thinking that you were wrong." She narrowed her brows, confused.

"Huh?"

"When you said I was perfect. You were wrong," he clarified. "I'm not perfect." She remained quiet, waiting for him to continue and tell her something that was clearly weighing on his mind. "I'm the furthest thing from perfect."

"What's on your mind Jay? Let me in." He had begged her to let him in earlier and she did. And now it was his turn to let her in and let her see parts of him that he didn't like about himself and let her prove to him that she'd love him anyway.

"I never told you why I quit being a police."

"I thought it was because your mom died?"

"Yeah. That was only a part of it." She brought her head up more, interested in hearing the whole story of why he stopped and quit a job that he obviously loved. What had caused him to walk away from his dream for years. "When my mom passed, I was a mess. I was drinking a lot, trying to numb myself from the pain, trying to do anything to forget about not having her anymore. And I started slipping at my job. Antonio tried to cover for me but there was only so much he could do. The one day, me and Tony went out on this call, this jogger found a body in the park. We get there and I remember pulling the bush that was covering the body away and I see this young boy on the ground, dead. And I didn't need to see his face to know that I knew him. I knew who he was." She gasped softly at his revelation.

"Who was he?"

He swallowed, lost in his memories. "It was Ben Corson, Ally's brother." Her eyes widened at that. "And I lost it because all I saw at that moment was him always being around when I was with Ally. He was always coming into the room whenever Ally and I were fooling around but there he was, dead on the ground in a public park."

"What happened to him?"

"He was killed by a pedophile," he replied. "Lonnie Rodiger," he gritted the name out, his hand forming into a tight fist. She reached out and kissed the fist, slowly releasing the tight clench. "I knew who had done it right away because I remembered him always lurking around in the background around the Corsons, always creeping around Ben. Of course, no one thought that he would go that far and murder a 8 year old but he did."

She rested her hand on his chest, over his heart and felt the rapid beat underneath her palm. "Did you catch him?"

He shook his head. "I went crazy with rage so I just stormed off, ready to arrest the bastard. He denied being the murderer of course and his dad vouched for him, gave him a fake alibi and I just saw red. I punched him and I did it again and again until Antonio finally pulled me back but by then it was too late. I fucked up the case already. His dad threatened to sue the City and the City didn't want to lose the suit and millions of dollar in retribution so they settled, them dropping the charge in exchange for Lonnie walking away, unscathed. I was disgusted, not only at myself for snapping and fucking up and giving a pedophile his freedom but at the City for giving in, even though they knew they had him dead to right for Ben's murder. My Sergeant told me to take some time off, get my shit in order but there was no way I was going back after that so I quit on the spot, turned in my badge and went ballistic on him."

"Jay," she didn't know what to say so she could only say his name, wanting to bring him some sort of comfort. She laid a soft kiss on his chest, hoping that it would help him even just a little. He brought his hand up to run his fingers through her hair. "What happened to Lonnie? Is he still out free?"

He shook his head. "I couldn't stop obsessing over it so I kept an eye on him. I even hired this P.I outside, Jin to keep a tail on him because I knew that Lonnie wasn't done. He was sick and it was only a matter of time before he struck again and this time, I'd be ready for him. I wasn't going to let what happened to Ben happen to anyone else. Jin called me one day and told me that Lonnie had bought a tent and rope and duct tape and I just knew that he was going to kill another boy and I couldn't let him get away with it, not again."

"So what did you do?"

"I told Antonio about it and I tailed Lonnie and there he was, in the secluded park with his next victim. I remember this boy tied up with Lonnie hovering over him like the predator he was and I knew that if I still had my gun, I would've shot him right then and there. He saw me and tried to run and I chased after him and we got into a fight. I wanted to kill him with my bare hands and I was so close. So close," he paused, taking a deep breath to get himself under control. "But I stopped myself, knowing I couldn't let him go free again. I needed to bring justice for the Corsons and the family of that boy. That was when Antonio arrived and took him into custody. He's um, he's serving life without parole over at Statesville. But even after that, I couldn't go back to being a cop. Not until you came along."

"That's good Jay. That sounds like justice."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "Ben is still dead and there was nothing I could've done to bring him back. Not to mention, I almost let Lonnie get away with his murder."

"But you didn't," Erin immediately refuted, pressing her hand that was on his chest to emphasize her point. "You got justice for Ben. And it wasn't your fault that you couldn't stop Lonnie. You didn't know."

"I did thought," he retorted, squeezing his eyes shut. "I knew that there was something off about Lonnie. I should've done something but instead I was busy drowning myself in the bottle, feeling sorry for myself. Maybe if I had gotten my head out of my ass then I could've stopped Lonnie and save Ben before it was too late. It was my fault."

Erin shook her head vehemently, sitting up. "It wasn't!" There was no way she'd let him blame himself for something that wasn't his fault. "There was no way you could've known what Lonnie was going to do to Ben. You're not a mind reader Jay. There's no way you could've known." She cupped his face, turning his head so she could look at him and hold his gaze. "It wasn't your fault." She reiterated, knowing that he needed to hear it.

He didn't say anything, just held her gaze so she continued. "You did everything you could to bring Lonnie to justice."

"I almost let him walk away scot-free."

"But you didn't," she retorted. "You didn't. You kept on it and you got him. And your reaction towards Lonnie, it's completely understandable. I know I'd probably react the same if I was in your shoes and it was someone that I cared about that was murdered. Don't blame yourself for it." She leaned forward and captured his lips, pouring all the love and reassurance she could into the kiss. "It wasn't your fault," she repeated. She'd repeat those four words a million times if it was what it took for him to start believing it too. He gave her a small smile and kissed her again. She smiled and brushed his jaw with her fingers.

"Now you know something ugly about me. Something that I'm not proud of from my past. I told you I'm not perfect."

She softened even more and kissed him again. "You're wrong," she gave him a soft smile, brushing his jaw with her fingers. "You're still pretty perfect to me."

The light that was gone from his eyes while he was telling her the story slowly made its way back. "You're pretty damn perfect to me too," he told her, a smile forming on his face before she straddled him and deepening the kiss, both of them ready to show each other just how perfect they were for each other again.

* * *

"Ta-da!" he announced as he scooped the scrambled egg from the pan onto a plate. "Here you go!"

She reached over to grab the plate from him from where she was sitting on top of the island, her bare legs swinging while his button down shirt that fitted him like a glove but was oversized on her and hung off her shoulder. He leaned forward so she could get a hold of the plate and stopped to land a peck on her lips also. She hummed contently.

"Thank you." She took a bit of the eggs, giving a soft hum of approval. "Hmm, not bad."

He turned around from the stove to toss her a grin over his shoulders. "Told you I could cook."

She laughed. "Yeah, you made edible eggs. I think your cooking skills could now be deemed passable as a 12 year old," she snarked, earning a glare from him. He turned off the stove and approached her, a fake pout on his lips.

"And here I was thinking that I was going to make you some bacon too but now you can forget that. That's for making fun of my cooking skills."

She pouted, giving him the puppy dog eyes. "Hey," she whined. "Not fair! I said the eggs weren't bad. That's a compliment in my books."

"Uh huh," he stood in between her legs that hung off the island and leaned into kiss her properly. "Too late. The bacon ship has sailed." He caught the pout that was about to form on her face with his lips again, his hand coming around her waist to hold her to him. She brought her hand up to his shoulder like she was pushing back against the force of his kiss but she granted him access to her mouth just as easily, letting his tongue enter and deepened the kiss. She swirled her tongue against his before gently sucking on it, Jay groaning at her action. She smirked to herself, taking his face in her hands and bringing him closer as she nibbled his lips. Just as when he was about to take things further, she pushed him away, leaving him hanging with his mouth opened.

"Wha..what?" he stammered, Erin laughing at his reaction. She smirked, giving him a wink.

"That's for denying me bacon," she teased, his mouth still hanging open. He quickly recovered though, a glint forming in his eyes as he leaned closer to her and started peppering her face and neck with kisses, causing her to shriek in loud laughter, his kisses tickling Erin.

"Okay okay, I give up!" she quickly surrender, unable to handle the ticklish actions any longer and she pushed him away with her palm slightly, her face red with joyful tiredness. He tossed her a smug smirk and leaned into properly kiss her. "You're evil," she wrinkled her nose in fake anger before he chuckled and kissed her again.

It was turning out a great morning, both of them just enjoying each other and the new intimacy in their relationship. Now they were free to touch and kiss each other whenever they wanted and that was a great new development if Erin had anything to say about it. She didn't think she'd ever get enough of seeing Jay only in his boxer first thing in the morning, hair mussed up and lips waiting to be kissed. She giggled when he settled for landing a couple of pecks on her cheeks, her head turning to the side to give him more access. Her eyes landed on the envelope that was sitting on the island a few feet away and she reached for it and pulled the papers out again. Jay stilled when he saw what she had in her hands and he sucked in his breath, like she was about to drop a bomb on him and tell him that she changed her mind about them.

She rested one of her hand on his chest to quell the fear in his eyes. "I still can't believe that you actually got this done," she voiced. "That you were willing to walk away because you thought that's what I wanted."

He gave her a small grin, his hand reaching to brush away the strands of hair that fallen on her face. "If it was going to make you happy, yeah I was. No matter how much I didn't want to." His other hand was on her bare thigh, pressing small circles on the soft flesh. "I only care about your happiness."

She nodded, completely believing his words. She pushed him away slightly so she could get off of the island and stood up. His curious eyes followed her as she walked over to the stove and turned on a burner. "This is what I want to do," she said, turning around and holding the divorce papers over the open flame until the corner started to burn, destroying the papers little by little. He smiled at the act and came next to her, reaching for the burning papers and placing it in the sink until the whole sheet burned away, leaving nothing but ashes and he turned on the faucet, letting the last remnants wash down the drain. She stood on her tippy toe and kissed his cheeks.

He turned his body to her, his hands automatically wrapping around her waist. "Now I know something else we could set on fire," he drawled suggestively and his hand made quick work at pulling her shirt off. Their lips fused together in a heated kiss and he slowly backed her to the island and cupped her ass and lifted her up to the counter. Then his mouth was leaving everywhere he could on her naked chest, his fingers working on her thighs and trailing further up by the second. She was losing all rational thoughts by the seconds. "Bedroom," she managed to breathe out, expecting Jay to carry her off to his room again.

But his hands didn't move from her thighs. "I can't wait," he murmured, managing to pull his lips away from her skin for a second. "I need you right here. Right now." She needed him just as much as he did so when he laid her down on the kitchen island, she could only let her lust-filled eyes lingered on his body as he quickly undressed himself. He bent his head and laid torturous and sinful kisses on her thighs, moving closer and closer to just where she needed his lips the most. She waited with hitched breath as he parted the lips with his fingers before finally and mercifully bringing his mouth down. Her back arched in untamed pleasure as he delved his tongue in, her mind dizzying at how good it felt to have his head between her legs. She bit her lips, trying to keep herself from screaming out as he continued his actions. She practically mewled when he flicked his tongue, causing her to go out of her mind. The last coherent thought she had before he brought her to ultimate heights with just his tongue was that out of all the memories that she and Jay had made at this kitchen island, this one was definitely her favorite yet.

* * *

"I can't believe you," Jay scoffed, almost sounding affronted. Erin just shrugged, finding herself amused at his reaction at her answer.

"What?" she protested. "It's a perfectly acceptable answer."

He wrinkled his nose like he was disgusted. "I can't believe you prefer the inferior strawberry jelly with your PB&J." Erin laughed, seeing such a visceral reaction from him. This had been the latest thing in their relationship. After they had tired each other out with mindblowing sex, they'd lay awake in Jay's bed—really now theirs considering Erin had been sleeping in here for the past two weeks ever since their first time—and asked and answered each other's questions. And the questions varied every time, ranging from something serious like their childhood and the weight they each carried about their past to something silly like this—which kind of jelly they each preferred. Erin had been adamant about strawberry jelly and that was something Jay obviously found offensive.

"Okay then you tell me," Erin spoke into his chest. "What kind of jelly do you prefer?"

He scoffed. "Obviously the only answer here is grape. The superior one." He sounded so serious about his preference that Erin couldn't help but laugh.

"Okay, I concede," she relented, Jay grinning smugly at her words. He bent down to lay a kiss on top of her head, smiling into her hair.

"Tell me something else," he urged. "Like what did you always want as a kid?"

She pursed her lips, thinking her answer over. She turned her body to his and brought one of her leg over him and wrapping her arm around his waist. "Hmm, I've always wanted a little brother or sister growing up," she replied.

"Really?"

"Yeah," she let out a small chuckle. "Everyone I know around me that had siblings hated it but I don't know," she shrugged. "I just always thought it'd be fun to have someone around always. Someone to play with and just be around so I wasn't by myself." She felt him tense at her reply and she almost chided herself, not wanting to bring down the easy atmosphere they had going with another sad tale of her childhood so she changed the subject and directed the attention to him. "Were you and Will close growing up?"

He was running his finger on her arms, thinking over his answer. "Yeah, we were," he finally answered. "We used to really close, growing up. Terrible twos as my aunt always called us because we were always running around and causing troubles," he chuckled at recalling his childhood with Will.

"You guys still look pretty close today." From what she had observed about him and Will, it was obvious that the two brothers loved each other and cared about each other deeply. Maybe they weren't as close of a friends as they were when they were children but there was still a bond that ran deep between the two.

"I don't know about that," Jay said, almost sounding sad. "Sometimes I think Will hates me." Erin frowned at his words.

"What? Why do you think that?"

Jay sighed. "Will always wanted to be a doctor since we were kids. While I didn't know what I wanted to do, he always knew what he wanted. But he gave up that dream and followed the path our dad set up for him, for both of us. He went to Brown, got his business degree and soon enough, he was working for our dad, preparing to take over the company." He paused, licking his lips. "And I'm pretty sure he did it so I could follow my dream of becoming a cop."

"What do you mean?"

"He knew that our dad wouldn't let things go unless one of us was going to take over the company and Will thought that since he was older, it was his job. That it was his duty to sacrifice his dream and do what my dad wanted him to do so I can do what I want to do. And sometimes, I feel guilty knowing that even with all that he sacrificed, in the end it was all for nothing because I quit being a cop. He gave up his dreams for nothing."

Erin laid a soft kiss on his jaw, running her thumb on it. "I don't really know the inner workings of Will's mind but even I can tell that he doesn't hate you. He's protective of you and it's clear to everyone that he loves you. That you two love each other." He leaned down to look at her and she gave him a reassuring smile. "Even if what you said about him sacrificing his dream is true, it was his decision Jay. Because he believes in you. And I know that when you pass your detective exam and become a detective and get in Intelligence, he's going to be so proud of you."

"I love you, you know?" She nodded, answering his question.

"I know."

* * *

It was finally the last party of the Holidays season and despite Erin wanting to attend at all costs, she knew she couldn't avoid going. Jay had assured her that it was the final party for the next couple of months so she just sucked it up and put on yet another dress that Jay had bought her, ready to glue a fake smile on her face for the night and just prayed that she survived one more party.

This one was taking place at Mouse's mansion again and that was good news to Erin. She knew Mouse, she liked Mouse from the couple of times she had met him. He had always been nice to her and she tried to not let the voice in the back of her head whispering to her that she'd thought the same of Will before finding out just how he really thought of her taint her view of Jay's best friend.

She and Jay made the rounds at the party, everyone just tossing one fake smile after another at each other. But Jay's arms around her waist was helping make the evening more bearable. He was her steady force as she faked her way through the crowd, letting the whispers and looks that were directed at her rolled off her back. Jay seemed oblivious to them all, not caring about what anyone else thought or were saying about the two of them. Instead his attention seemed to be focused on her only, his eyes glazing over at seeing the strapless dress she had on, whispering in her ears about how he couldn't wait to pull it off of her later. She just blushed, giving him a light smack on the chest before letting him capture her mouth in a kiss. He grinned at her as she pushed him away, directing his lips to her forehead instead, landing a kiss on it.

"Hey," Mouse approached them again, face red indicating that he clearly had a couple of drinks in him already. "I need to borrow this guy," he slurred, wrapping his arm around Jay. Jay rolled his eyes at his friend, pulling away. "Come on man, Hollingsworth is here and I need you to back me up that we really did took my dad's Ferrari for a joyride when we were in middle school and took it out for a spin."

"It's okay," Erin cut in, waving Jay to go. But he stood still, not wanting to leave her. She knew that he was worried about her being left alone, considering what had happened at the last party. But she reassured him with a smile. "I'll be okay Jay," she said. "I'll just be in the garden. Go." That was all the encouragement Mouse needed and he dragged Jay away, who turned his head back to send Erin an apologetic look. But she waved him off, chuckling. She really was fine with him being with his friend, she'd be fine on her own.

She exited the party and headed out to the garden just like she told Jay. When she was here last time, she didn't really get a chance to look at the garden as Jay dragged her to the pond for ice-skating. But from the small glimpse she did get told her that the garden was beautiful and she wanted a closer look. She wrapped her coat tighter around her as she entered the large area, snow covering the otherwise colorful flowers that she was sure would be blooming in Springtime. But whatever plants that had survived the harsh winter of Chicago made up enough beauty for Erin to enjoy and she headed for the bench she saw hidden behind a huge bush.

She stopped suddenly in her tracks when she rounded the corner and saw Will already there, sitting on the same bench. "Oh," she stuttered, not really knowing how to react around Will now. But he smiled at her and she returned a smile, not wanting to be rude.

"Hiding from the party too?" he quipped. She just laughed, wanting to be polite. "Here," he patted on the empty space next to him. "I have plenty of space here." She sat down next to him, feeling the awkward tension in the air.

"You?" she asked. "Hiding out here from the party?"

"More like my date," he replied.

"Yeah, I saw that you brought someone else and not Natalie," Erin almost regretting her question when she saw Will's face quickly dropped at the mention of Natalie's name. "Sorry."

He shook his head. "It's okay. It's my fault so I have no one to blame by myself." She would have asked him what happened but she didn't feel right, not really close to him. "Hey, are we okay?" She looked surprised at his blunt question.

She just gave him a small nod. "Sure." But his eyes looked at her like he knew she was lying.

"So I noticed you and Jay earlier," he said, changing the subject. "You guys are together aren't you?"

She didn't know how to answer but she opted for the truth, knowing that Will was going to find out sooner or later anyway. "Yeah, we are." She didn't know what she was expecting to see as his reaction but it sure wasn't a genuine smile that he gave her.

"I'm happy for you." She guessed the look of surprise was clear on her face. "Why do you look so surprised?" he questioned her.

"Um," she shook herself out of the stupor. She pursed her mouth, deciding to go the blunt route. "Will, you don't need to put on this act."

"What act?" he sounded genuinely confused.

"This act. The whole pretending that you're okay with me and Jay actually being together." She sighed. "I know what you really think of me Will." He frowned, still confused so she elaborated. "I overheard you two talking last week and I know that you think that we don't fit together and that I'm not for him."

She had to give him credit because he actually looked genuinely ashamed. "I'm sorry," he said. "I was stupid and honestly Erin, I don't think that of you. What I said to Jay, it came out wrong and I was wrong. Because the truth is I've never seen him happier than he is when he's with you. I mean, you're the one that got him to change his mind to take the detective exam."

"I didn't really do anything. I just encouraged him to change his mind."

"That's what he needed," Will replied. "I used to be one that could convince him but not anymore."

"He told me that you two used to be pretty close. What happened?"

Will looked down sadly. "I'm afraid Jay doesn't like me for giving into our dad's demands. He probably thinks I'm a coward for giving in and just taking the easy way out." She was surprised at his answer. All this time, Jay and Will thought the other hated them. The two fools.

"That's what you think he thinks of you?" Will nodded. "No Will, he doesn't."

"I would," Will replied. "Look at me. I am a coward. I took over the family company because it was easier than fighting with my father. I broke up with Natalie, the first woman that I could actually see myself falling in love with, because it was easier to just date someone I'm used to. If that's not being a coward, I don't know what is."

"You're not a coward," Erin tried again, trying to cheer Will up. "Seriously though, you and Jay need to talk because you guys have your wires crossed. But I promise you, that's not what Jay thinks of you."

He gave her a small nod. "You know I'm pretty jealous of Jay and how he goes for everything he wants." He reached out to hold her hand. "You're good for him Erin. I mean it. I've never seen him happier than I saw him tonight because he was with you." She knew that it was Will extending out an olive branch between them, trying to apologize for his words. She placed her hand over his, smiling at him, letting him know without words that she accepted the branch he was offering and that things were okay between them.

* * *

Jay was sure he was more nervous than Erin was at the moment. The day had finally arrived and Erin was off, taking her G.E.D test. Meanwhile, Jay was practically bouncing off of his feet in his office, checking his phone every couple of minutes while he waited for a text from her on whether or not she passed.

"You're going to put a dent on the floor if you don't stop," Will warned, noticing Jay's strange behavior. "Just relax."

"I can't!" Jay retorted, rubbing his jaw.

"You know she's going to do good on the test so stop worrying."

"I know. Erin's going to kill it but still," he clasped his hands together and rested them on his desk. "I just want everything to go well for her. This is so important to her and she worked so hard on it and I just want her to get everything she wants." He checked his phone again, not getting a reply. "You know what? I can't stand this." He stood up and grabbed his jacket.

"Where are you going?" Will questioned, his head turning around to watch Jay.

"I can't stand being here," Jay replied, putting on his jacket. "I'm going to go wait for her at the testing center."

* * *

Jay paced back and forth outside the testing center as he waited for Erin to come out. Despite knowing that Erin was ready for ace the test, he was still nervous. He was sure he was more nervous for this than he'd be when he'd finally take his detective exam. He checked his watch again, knowing that Erin had completed the exam a couple of hours ago already and was probably waiting for her result inside.

The doors finally opened and people began pouring out, some with happy smiles while other looked dejected. His eyes searched for Erin in the crowd and immediately spotting her, not really able to see her expression clearly. But as soon as Erin spotted him, she took off running, his arms already stretching out wide open ready. The wide happy smile on her face told him the results already, his own face splitting into an equally wide smile. When she finally reached him, she jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around him as she buried her face into neck.

"I passed!" she mumbled into his neck, sounding so happy. He squeezed her tighter to him, peppering kisses all over her face.

"I knew you would!" he told her, Erin bending down to kiss him, bringing her arms around his neck. "Congratulations baby!" He told her genuinely as she pulled away, a huge smile still glued to her face. "Now, we have to celebrate. Are you ready for the best steak Chicago has to offer?"

* * *

He couldn't get over how beautiful she looked as she sat across from him in the restaurant, the candle light giving her a soft glow making her even more beautiful. He brought her hands up to his mouth and laid a kiss on it. "I love you," he told her. Ever since he first said it, he couldn't say it enough. She smiled, showing her dimples, returning his sentiments. "Now how does this rate among your first date?"

Her smile faltered slightly at his question. "I umm," she looked down. "I actually never had a first date." His eyes widened at her confession, completely surprised.

"Never?" She shook her head.

"I don't know," she shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. "First date weren't really a thing in my life. Neither was dating really."

"How is that possible?" He was utterly shocked. "Look at you. How could any guy not see you and just want to date you?"

She chuckled. "You know how I was growing up and after I finally managed to pull myself together, I don't know," she shrugged again. "Dating was never a priority for me at that point in my life."

"Have you ever thought about it?"

"You mean about how it'd be to have a guy that I like actually court me, take me out on a romantic date and we'd have the best date ever and fall in love? Sure." She intertwined their fingers together. "I'd imagine it a lot like this actually. You're the perfect first date."

He smiled, softly caressing her fingers. "Courting?" he teased. "Erin Lindsay is a romantic? Who knew?"

"Now you do. And you better not let my secret out Halstead," she sent him a fake glare but her mouth was too busy smiling to have any real effect. "I have a reputation to protect."

"Your secret is safe with me," he promised. "Besides I like knowing that I'm the only one that know this side of you." He leaned in. "And I promise you Erin, I'm going to give you everything you deserve. All the things you should've had."

"You already have Jay."

* * *

He was right in thinking that he was more nervous about Erin's test than his own. His own detective exam came and went quietly and now he had about a week before the results would come in. Surprisingly, Will had been supportive of him taking the exam even if it meant that Jay would be leaving Halstead Enterprises should he pass the exam.

"You nervous for the result?" Jay just shrugged, hiding his nerves inside. "You know the case is going to close pretty soon. I heard from the lawyer that there's a good chance that the judge is going to drop the charges."

"That's good news right?"

Will nodded, staring at Jay. "And six months is almost up." Jay's head snapped up at Will's words. "Have you thought about what you are going to do when the six months is up and the agreement between you and Erin ends?"

"Of course," Jay replied, not elaborating further, Will shot him an exasperated look, waiting for him to continue. Jay didn't say anything just yet. Instead he opened his desk drawer and pulled out a jewelry box and placed it on the desk, opened to reveal an engagement ring inside it.

"Erin already has a ring," Will said, referring to the ring Erin wore so people wouldn't ask too many questions. Jay shook his head.

"I'm going to ask Erin to marry me again," Jay explained, his face forming into a smile. "For real this time. We're not going to get a divorce and it would be like a vow renewal. I want to give her a real wedding ceremony, a real ring that shows her just how much I love her. I want us to stand at the altar and share vows with each other. I want to make everything real and legitimate between the two of us."

Will remained quiet for a second before he grinned, pulling Jay into a hug. "Congratulations man!" He patted Jay's back, catching him off guard.

"I got to say Will, I'm surprised," Jay confessed. "I thought from our earlier conversation, you'd object or something."

Will shook his head. "No I won't. Not anymore." His voice became small as he continued. "I've learned something from my relationship with Natalie. One is that I'm miserable without her and two is that there's nothing more important than happiness and I know Erin makes you happy and that's all that matters to me. So I wish you two nothing but happiness." Jay nodded, touched by Will's sentiments and he pulled his brother into another hug, holding onto him tighter this time.

"Thanks man," Jay returned, feeling close to Will for the first time in a long time.

* * *

"This is it!" Jay stated proudly as Erin followed his lead into the 21st district. She looked around the police station, giving Jay an impressive look more for his sake than anything. It just looked like a regular police station to Erin but she knew to Jay, this was his dream place. This was where the Intelligence unit was and that was the unit that Jay had always dreamt about getting it. So if it was important to Jay, it was important to Erin.

"You're going to get in Jay," she said, wrapping her arms around him and smiling up at him. "I just know it." They were going to be getting his results tomorrow and she was both excited and nervous for him. Antonio had been talking him up to his Sergeant, trying to talk him into giving Jay a shot and from what Antonio had relayed to them, his efforts were working. So Jay had excitedly brought her here so Antonio could show Jay around, Jay's potential future work place.

"Jay!" Antonio greeted happily as he came down the steps, bringing Jay into a hug. "You excited man?"

"Yeah," Jay breathed out. "I mean I don't even know if I'm even passing the test."

"You will!" Both Erin and Antonio reassured him at the same time.

"Come on man," Antonio patted Jay's arm. "Let's start the tour." She waved them goodbye as Antonio took Jay to the back. She sighed happily as she took a seat on the bench nearby.

"Erin Lindsay?" Erin's attention was caught by an older man who came down the same steps Antonio came down from. Her eyes widening when she realized who it was.

"Office Voight," she gasped, pulling the older man into a hug. He had been the officer on duty when she was taken to the hospital, not to mention he had been the one who swooped in from getting her booked and charged with solicitation when she got pinched. She owed a lot to this man. "I guess I should call you Sergeant Voight now?" He laughed.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned, almost worriedly like she was in trouble. But she smiled, reassuring him that she wasn't in any sort of trouble.

"I'm just here to accompany my husband." He looked surprised at that.

"You're married?"

"Don't sound so surprised," she teased.

"I'm happy for you. So when am I going to meet this husband? He's not in trouble is he?" She shook her head.

"Serg," Antonio interrupted them, he and Jay returning from their short tour. "This is Jay Halstead, the guy I've been talking up about." Jay shook Voight's hands.

"Sir," he greeted, his eyes darting between Voight and Erin, noticing the familiarity between the two. "You know each other?"

Erin nodded, standing next to Jay. "Sergeant Voight, this is my husband." It was safe to say Voight's eyes nearly bulged out of his eye socket at Erin's introduction.

"This is your husband?" There was a strange tone to his voice. Erin nodded, smiling. He studied the two spouses with his eyes, not saying anything more. Antonio broke the interaction by patting Jay's shoulder.

"Come on man, I'm going to show you upstairs and see where the work really goes down." Jay nodded, turning to Voight and holding his hand out.

"Sir," Jay started. "I just wanted to say that I can't wait to be a detective. It means a lot to me and if I am lucky enough to be in your unit, I promise you I'm going to be the best detective you got." Voight shook his hands but didn't say anything, just nodding. Jay turned to follow Antonio who was already waiting for him a couple of steps ahead, Jay turning to give Erin a wave. Erin smiled seeing at how excited he looked. She turned back to Voight, her smile falling at seeing the look on his face.

"Erin, we need to talk."

* * *

That night, Jay held her in his arms, drawing soft patterns on them. They had just made love but he had noticed her acting strange all night and he was getting worried, wondering what was going through her head. He kissed her temple and tilted her head up so he could look at her. It was like she could read the worry in his eyes and she gave him a soft smile.

"I love you so much," she voiced, a strange lilt to her voice. One that he couldn't decipher. "You are the best person I ever known and you are going to make the best detective."

"Are you okay?" he asked her, kissing her fingers. She was worrying him but she nodded, giving him a smile. Instead of answering his question, she straddled him and kissed him deeply.

"Make love to me again Jay," she whispered against his lips. "Make me remember this night forever." He couldn't refuse her request so he kissed her again, ready to fulfill her wish and show her just how much he loved her. And when she came, she kissed 'I love you's' into his skin like she was trying to sear her confession into him forever.

* * *

He was like a giddy child as he entered their penthouse, the unabashed happiness on his face.

"Erin!" he called out, ready to share the good news with her. He had gotten the results back of his test and he was officially a detective as of today. He had reached his goal and he owed it all to her. He knew that without her encouragement and them studying together, he wouldn't be able to do this. "Erin!" They needed to celebrate. He hoped she was ready to cook him his favorite, her spaghetti.

But he didn't get a reply. He frowned, wondering if she was out but she didn't tell him that she had any plans to be out and she knew that he'd be getting the results today so he knew she was waiting for him. He made his way to his bedroom, thinking she'd be in there but the room remained empty. But what had caught his attention was the piece of paper on top of the yellow envelope. A feeling of dread made its way into his chest as he walked closer and picked up the paper, like he almost knew what was going to be written on it. But he felt his heart break the same when he read the words over and over, unwilling to believe the words that were on the page, in Erin's handwriting.

_Jay, I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. I can't stay. I know you're going to make a great detective. Please be happy.-Erin_

He didn't need to walk into the closet to know that all of her things were gone. He felt tears made their way into his eyes as his shaking hand opened up the envelope. He broke down, crumbled to the floor, clutching the signed divorce papers in his hands.


	4. Part IV

Chapter IV

"Hey."

"He in there?" Will shrugged, inserting his copy of the key to Jay's place into the lock, Mouse standing behind him waiting.

"Should be," Will said, tossing his head over his shoulder. "He cleaned out his office when no one was there and I still can't get a hold of him," He turned the lock and opened the door, taking a deep breath. "Let's hope he's here."

The two men entered the dark penthouse, the lights all turned off. Will commanded the smart hub to open the lights and their eyes widened at the state of the penthouse. Old takeout boxes littered the living room and the kitchen as well as bottles after bottles of beer and Will even spotted a few empty bottles of whiskey strewn about. The cushions on the couch were tossed around and all in all, the penthouse was a gigantic mess. It was a far departure from Jay's normal state—his almost obsessive need for tidiness and cleanliness. No, this was a mess. A physical manifestation of what was apparently going on in Jay's life.

Mouse let out a whistle, his eyes trying to take in the chaos that was Jay's penthouse. "Man, what a fucking mess." He sidestepped a few boxes on the floor, trying not to step into any old pieces of food leftover.

"Jay!" Will called out, hoping and praying at this point that his brother was home and not out somewhere alone. No answer came. "Jay!" he tried again, walking toward his bedroom. He knocked once and waited for a reply that didn't come. Will had enough of this. "Jay, I'm coming in." He didn't wait for permission or a reply this time, just turning the doorknob and opening the door to enter. The same state of darkness greeted him and he got the lights opened again. "Fuck!" he cussed to himself, finding Jay's bedroom in a similar state of a mess as in the living room. Mouse joined him by the doorway, both of them not daring to enter.

"Where is he?" Jay's best friend questioned, worried eyes meeting worried eyes. Mouse exhaled, his concern growing even more now. He knew Jay wasn't doing well, not since Erin cruelly left three weeks ago. Mouse had seen Jay in all kind of states, had been there when his mother died, had seen Jay hit rock bottom before where Jay was almost too far gone and he and Will barely managed to bring Jay back from the brink—_just barely —_and now _this—_this felt too similar to him.

Mouse had seen the change in Jay in the time that Erin had came into his life. It was almost impossible not to. His best friend that had been almost lifeless, just going through the motion, and would rather drown his feelings into bottles of liquor to avoid any feelings had undergone dramatic change when he got married. Despite of the unconventional reason that he might've gotten hitched for, it was obvious to Mouse that Erin had been a positive influence on Jay. Mouse and even Will had tried to convince him to take the detective exam or at the very least to go back to being a police officer many times before, knowing that Jay wasn't happy working for Halstead Enterprises and belonged in the uniform, but he didn't budge. At least not until Erin had somehow changed his mind and redirected Jay back to the correct life path. His friend had been lighter, happier, determined, he smiled more, he laughed like he did before—all the things he had lost along with his mother and Jay had regained a purpose in his life and gotten his shit together. That was until three weeks ago when Mouse got a frantic call from Will to get over to Jay's right away and finding his friend in a broken state—distraught and almost inconsolable—and both he and Will were left clueless about how to help. And that had been the last and the only night Jay had allowed them into his house, had allowed them to see how torn up he was.

For the next three weeks, Jay had isolated himself into his home, left his position at Halstead Enterprises, and ignored every phone calls and house calls Mouse and Will made, trying to check in on him. They were worried that Jay had fallen back into his old patterns—drinking and partying all night long just as he did before and acting as though his life didn't matter, like it had no worth. Will had tried to give his brother his space, time to get over getting his heart broken, but enough was enough. It had been three weeks and after not hearing from a peep out of Jay the whole time, they had decided to take matters into their own hands and use Will's spare key to let themselves in. Will took out his cell phone and called Jay, the other man not picking up, not that they were exactly surprised by that. Will shook his head, dejected.

"Where is he?"

* * *

Jay stirred the spoon around the small white mug, a few drops of coffee splashing onto the table. He didn't bother cleaning it up. The table was already sticky enough before he sat down, a few more drops of coffee wasn't going to make a huge difference. He brought the cup up to his mouth and took a sip, grimacing instantly at the almost burnt taste of the black liquid. It truly was terrible coffee, even the heaping amount of sugar he had deposited into it never helped much. But he didn't come to this diner for the coffee, or the greasy smelling food. No, he was here for one thing only—or more specifically, one person. He'd been coming here everyday for the last three weeks because he honestly didn't know where else to go. He didn't know where Erin was, didn't know where she could be, didn't know where to keep looking for her. She had left—disappeared like shadow in the dark night. Left him with no answers, no explanations, nothing but her scent in his sheets and memories of her in their home.

He sighed, dropping the cup back down on the saucer. He was a mess and he looked it, _he knew it_. He didn't need to look in a mirror to know that his skin was dry and chapped, his hair overgrown and or that the deep dark circles seemed to have taken permanent residence underneath his eyes—evidence of the sleepless nights he had endured. It wasn't as though he _didn't_ want to sleep. He wanted nothing more than to just lose himself in a deep slumber, where his problems were a conscious mind away, and let time just go by until maybe Erin come back or it didn't hurt so much anymore. Maybe even let himself get lost in the dreams where he and Erin were still together, where she was still with him, in his arms. But anyone that ever had a broken heart before knew that the dreams weren't the worst part. No, the hardest part was waking up—the brief moment when his eyes fluttered opened and everything seemed fine until he reached over next to him to pull Erin's soft body into his arms and finding nothing but cold and empty space instead. Then everything came back all at once—the crushing pain in his chest, the reason why he was sleeping alone in their bed, and the half signed divorce papers that he had stuffed in a drawer somewhere, laying next to the ring he had bought for her, serving as a cold reminder that she was gone. He had suffered through that morning after morning after she left, until it had gotten to be too much. That brief moment of false serenity in the morning was far too cruel and hurt too much that he'd taken refuge in the bottom of the bottle—whiskey, vodka, bourbon, anything bitter and strong that would dull the pain enough.

"Refill?" the waitress asked and Jay nodded, sliding his cup to the edge of the table so she can refill it with another serving of terrible coffee. The diner offered free and unlimited refills and Jay had been taking full advantage of it for the past three weeks as he sat and waited. He had been here enough time to know that in five minutes, the waitress—the only one that apparently worked here now—would end her shift and the manager would pull double duty and would wait on the tables, not that there were a lot of customers at the diner anyways, and that on Tuesdays, the special of the day was a cup of tomato soup and grilled cheese. And that the cook in the back—Marty—would ignore Jay's request to speak to him for a minute, and just stood watch in the kitchen with his arms crossed, wondering how long Jay can last. Jay grimaced at the taste again, forgetting to put the sugar this time and he coughed, trying to get the burnt taste out of his mouth. He grabbed the napkin from the table and wiped his tongue with it, squeezing his eyes shut as he worked to make the aftertaste disappear.

"Here." Jay opened his eyes to find a glass of water being placed on the table and he looked up to find that it was the older man and not the waitress that had brought him the water. He grabbed the glass and downed the water quickly, the cold liquid washing away the taste. He gave Marty a nod as a thank you, his brows arching in surprise when Marty sat down across from him in the booth. Jay had been trying to talk to the diner cook for weeks, knowing that Erin was close to him but the older man always ignored his request, not even bothering to come out of the kitchen. But now he was here, studying Jay with silent but inquisitive eyes as he sat across from him in the small booth.

"You Halstead right?" Jay nodded. Marty pursed his lips, still continuing his study of Jay. Finally, Marty sighed and leaned across the table. "If you're waiting for me to tell you where Erin is, you're going to be waiting a long time because I'm not going to."

"I didn't expect you to."

Marty frowned, confused. "Then why have you been coming here for the past few weeks, sitting in this exact same booth, asking to speak to me? Cut the crap, kid."

Jay placed his used napkin on the table. "I didn't know where else to go," Jay admitted, dropping his gaze on the table. "I've been to her old apartment and she moved out. I've been to all the places she mentioned liking and nothing. I know it's a long shot that she'd be here but I just need to try." He sighed, scratching his hairline with his finger. "Look Marty. I know your relationship with Erin and how close you two are and I don't expect you to betray her and tell me where she is. That's not why I wanted to talk to you."

"Then why kid?"

Jay decided to leave all the cards on the table. He had been waiting for weeks for Marty to give him the time of the day and he had finally gotten his chance, he needed to everything he had on his mind. "I'm not going to lie, I was hoping that I would find Erin here. That one of these days she'd come back here and I can finally talk to her. But it's probably not going to happen."

"That's a good thing," Marty interrupted. "Erin belongs somewhere better than this diner. She'd wasted enough of her time here. It was time for her to move on."

"I know. She does." Jay did agree with Marty. Erin was far too smart, too ambitious, too special and too determined to spend the rest of her life here. "The reason why I wanted to talk to you is because I know how close you two are and I know you know where she is." He held up his hand, stopping the protest that was about to come out of Marty's mouth. "Look you don't have to tell me. I don't want that. I want at least one person in Erin's life to not disappoint her and let her down. I just….." he paused, thinking over his words. He had so much to say, so much to get off his chest but when it was finally time to, his mind was racing a mile a minute to get his words out without them being in a jumbled up mess. "I love her. I'm in love with her." He figured it was best to start with the simple truth. He loved Erin. That was a fact unchanged and Jay knew that it would never change. "There's nothing I want more in the world than for her to be happy. Yeah, I want her to come back to me but that's secondary to her happiness. I just want her safe and happy." He looked at Marty square in the eyes, showing all the sincerity and emotions he felt. "I just needed to hear from someone that knows where she is now that she is that. That wherever she is right now, she's okay. That's all I want from you."

Marty took in Jay's words, his eyes softening more than it had five minutes ago towards Jay, but still debating with himself whether or not to give Jay what he was asking for. "Please." Jay pleaded again. Finally Marty sighed and closed his eyes, giving in to Jay.

"She's okay." Jay released a deep sigh, relieved. "As okay as she could be," Marty continued. "Happy? I don't know about that." Marty kept his eyes on Jay. "Look here kid. I've known Erin for a long time and she's been through a lot in her life. I don't know how much you know about her past or what she had to go through to get to where she is now but I agree with you that she deserves to be happy. But I also know her enough to know that she is willing to put her happiness aside for the people she cares about in her life. I can't tell you why she left or where she is but I know that she always has a good reason for doing things. Whatever happened that caused her to leave, she must've had a good reason. She always does."

Jay just kept quiet. He knew that Erin must've left for a good reason but the problem remained that he still didn't know _why. _ Her goodbye note had been vague, no real explanation of why she had walked out. And if Jay was being honest with himself, there was this anger that was simmering inside him at being abandoned without a word goodbye or an explanation why. That simmering anger that had made its presence known at random times and that he had taken out on random breakable objects in his home—a vase here, a glass there. But every time, his concern for her well-being had overpowered it, had tempered it down. Growing up, he had always thought that anger was the strongest emotion—his relationship with his father being the prime example of it—but because of Erin, he had learned that it was love instead.

"Jay," Marty called his name, Jay bringing his head up to look at the older man. "I know you love her. If your regular appearances here or you forcing yourself to drink that tar that we call 'coffee' here hadn't been clear enough, I can see it on your face. And I'm glad. Because Erin deserves someone that loves her as much as you do. Someone that is finally going to put her first. I wish I can say or do something to fix this for you both but I'm just an old man and I can't."

"I just don't know what to do," Jay admitted. Maybe this was something Marty could do, give him advice on what to do next, how to move forward.

"I wish I knew," Marty replied, reaching across to pat Jay's shoulders. "Give her time. Let her work through whatever she needs to work through and let her come back to you. In the meantime, don't waste your time and your life here because she's not coming back to this diner. Move forward with your life. Be a man that is going to deserve her when she comes back. That's all you can do."

Jay took in Marty's advice. Maybe he had a point. Jay took out his wallet, placing a few twenty dollar bills on the table and stood up, hands held out. Marty took his offered hand and shook it, giving Jay a smile. "You're a good man. I can tell."

Jay smiled. "I just hope I can be the man Erin deserves." Jay reached into his wallet to pull out a business card and handed it over to Marty. The older man had a skeptical look on his face, like he thought Jay was giving him his number so Marty can call and tell Jay about Erin's location. But that wasn't Jay's intention. "Call me if you ever need anything. That card is for you," he stressed, letting him know that Jay wasn't expecting anything in return. Jay turned to leave, taking a couple of steps before stopping and turning back. "Can you just please let Erin know that I love her and that I want her to be happy?" Marty nodded, sympathetic to the broken man in front of him. "Thanks."

* * *

"What the hell are you two doing here?" Jay slammed the door hard, his annoyance building at finding his brother and Mouse inside his home. He just wanted to be left alone but it seemed as though peace and solitary weren't going to be in his plan for the night.

"What the hell are we doing here? Where the hell have you been all night?" Will shouted, his own anger showing. "You lost your damn phone or something? Because we've been calling you for days already and no answer! Then we come here and look at this place!" He waved his arms around at the penthouse. "It's a fucking mess!"

Jay glared at his brother. "It's my damn house!" he shouted back. "It's not your house. You had no right to come in whenever you want to. Give me the fucking spare key back!" He held his hand out and waited for Will to hand over his spare keys. Really, Will was pushing it with his habit of just barging in whenever he wanted to his home. He had done it several times when Erin was here, claiming 'family dinner' as the reason. And now this? So what if his house was a mess right now? What if there were broken glasses and takeout boxes all over it? It wasn't Will's business.

Will just ignored Jay, making it clear that he wasn't going to handing over the key anytime soon. Instead he refocused on cleaning up the place, tossing a few empty bottles of beer into the trash bag. Jay just shook his head, his shoulders drooping with tiredness and headed for the couch. "Just leave it," he murmured. "Just leave me alone."

"I think you had enough time being alone," Will remarked, still working on clearing the coffee table. Mouse dropped the trash bag he was holding and sat down next to Jay on the couch.

"You okay man?" It was a stupid question and they all knew it. But they didn't know how else to approach Jay, how else to start the conversation. Jay just scoffed, tossing his head back on the couch.

"Just great," he replied, sarcastically. "Peachy."

Will sighed, sympathy growing for his brother. "Look Jay, we're worried about you. We haven't heard from you in three weeks and you haven't been answering your phone. We just want to make sure that you're okay."

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Jay started, a wry grin on his face. "I mean, my wife just left me, who knows why because she certainly didn't make it known to me. My heart just got ripped out and thrown in the trash. I'm fucking fine."

"You still haven't heard from Erin huh?" Jay shook his head, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry." Will offered but knowing that those words were next to useless for Jay. It wouldn't help heal his broken heart or put the shattered pieces of his brother back together. There was only one person that could do that and she had left.

"Don't be," Jay mumbled. "It's my fault."

Will frowned. "How is it your fault?"

Jay exhaled, sitting up on the couch and rubbing his face. "Why else would she have left? I must have done something. Push her too fast, scared her too much, _something_." That _something _had been elusive to Jay, he had spent weeks trying to wrack his brain trying to come up with why Erin had left. Something must have happened but he couldn't think of anything. They had been happy—or so Jay had thought. He had been over the moon when Erin had returned his sentiments and finally told him that she loved him too. They were happy together—he was sure of it. He knew he was. She had made him happier than he had ever been, just by being in his life and loving him.

Maybe that had been the problem. Maybe he had been too caught up in her—in his happiness—that he didn't notice how she was. Maybe he had been a fool, thinking that just because he was happy that she was too. The possibility of him not noticing how Erin was feeling made him sick to his stomach, like he had failed her.

"No," both Will and Mouse immediately protested. Will grabbed Jay's arm to get his full attention. "I saw you guys together and you guys were so happy. She was happy. It isn't your fault."

Jay shook Will's hold on his arm, smiling sadly. "Then why?" It was a question none of them could answer. Jay just chuckled humorlessly. "You know even now I wouldn't care," he started, like he was lost in his thoughts and unable to control his words. "I'm hurt, I'm pissed off and I'm worried as hell but all of that would be fine. I'd let that all go if she'd just walk back through these doors. Everything would be fine because I just want her back." But the door remained closed and his heart remained empty because Erin wasn't coming back anytime soon.

* * *

"You don't think your dad had anything to do with Erin leaving do you?" Will turned at Mouse's question, giving him an incredulous look. He darted his eyes back to the closed door as if Jay could hear from inside his house. "I'm just saying man," Mouse tried to explain. "No one saw this coming. You saw Jay and Erin together, I have zero doubt in my mind that she loves him as much as he loves her and for her to suddenly take off? Something isn't adding up man."

"And your mind automatically went to my dad?" Will asked, anger seeping in. They had just left Jay's place, leaving him to get some sleep. "You've been hanging out with Jay too much. My father is not always the bad guy!" Will whispered harshly, trying to keep his voice down so Jay wouldn't hear. He shook his head in disbelief, heading to the elevator. Mouse followed.

"I'm just saying," Mouse defended himself. "It could be a possibility. Maybe…." He paused, wondering if he should even really be saying this. "Maybe he paid Erin off or something."

"No," Will immediately protested. "No way. My dad wouldn't stoop that low and Erin wouldn't take that money if it meant she had to leave Jay."

"I mean no offense to Erin and I like her but she did get into this whole thing with Jay because of money in the first place."

"Yeah, the money that she didn't take," Will defended Erin. "She didn't end up taking a cent, not the $50,000 that she was promised or the money for the nursing courses that I promised her. Whatever happened that made her leave, it wasn't because of money and it certainly wasn't because of my father so just drop it." Mouse bit his tongue, knowing that he shouldn't push the topic anymore so he just nodded, accepting Will's order.

* * *

Jay entered the punch code and the door buzzed, opening. He walked up the stairs, finding Antonio already waiting for him at the top of the stairs. At least someone looked excited about Jay's first day as a detective in Intelligence because Jay certainly didn't have enough energy to plaster on a fake smile. Here he was, his dream of becoming a detective in the most elite unit in Chicago coming true yet he was utterly miserable. The only reason he was even here and not back in his place, holed up in his bed, was because he had decided to take Marty's advice. He knew he couldn't wallow in his pain forever, he needed to move forward. If he had any hopes of Erin coming back, he needed to work on being a man that deserved her. He chuckled to himself, chastising himself for being that pathetic. Because here he was, left behind yet still trying to make her proud of him.

"Jay!" Antonio greeted him, obviously happy about Jay joining the department and them fulfilling the dreams they had together. "My man! You're finally here." Jay smiled, trying to match his friend's enthusiasm. At least he was feeling and looking more like a human. He had shaved, gotten himself a haircut but the dark eye bags were still there, still showing his restless nights for all the world to see. "Let me introduce you to the guys."

Jay followed Antonio further into the bullpen, several guys looking up from their desk at him. Antonio pointed to the oldest man in the room. "That's Olinsky. Al. He's the most elite undercover we have. He's like a chameleon." The man gave Jay a little salute with two fingers as a greeting. "That's Atwater on his computer, he's taking over the tech duty for now until we can get someone else." The black man gave Jay a smile, acknowledging him. "And this is Ruzek," Antonio introduced to the last guy in the room, a blond who was staring at Jay with a strange look on his face. "Adam!" Antonio called, snapping Ruzek out of whatever trance he was in.

"Oh sorry," Adam said sheepishly, coming over to Jay with his hand out. "Ruzek." He introduced himself.

"Halstead." Jay shook his hand. "Jay."

"Come on," Antonio pulled Jay toward an empty desk furthest in the bullpen. "This right here is your desk. It's a special one." Jay quirked his eyebrows, asking what made the desk so special. "It's the closest to the break room and the coffeemaker and best of all, it's closest to Voight's office. The boss can keep his eyes on you the whole day," Antonio teased. Jay just rolled his eyes, scanning the room. His eyes landed on Ruzek, who was still looking at him with the same strange expression on his face. Jay wondered what the hell was wrong with the guy and why the hell he was looking at him like that.

"Halestead," Jay's attention that was on Ruzek was broken when Voight called his name as he arrived in the bullpen. "First day."

Jay stood taller, wanting to make a good impression on his boss. "Sir," he greeted. Voight stood, his eyes on Jay scanning him up and down for a while, making Jay squirm under his stare. Despite not wanting to feel intimidated, he couldn't help it. His new boss was very unnerving, like he could bury Jay alive in the silos somewhere and no one would know better. Finally Voight was done scrutinizing Jay. "Welcome," was all he grunted before he entered his office.

Jay let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding. Antonio gave him a knowing chuckle. "Trust me, we've all been there." Jay just raised his eyebrows, giving him a look but immediately schooling his face into a neutral expression when he caught Voight staring at him from his office. Jay turned his head, only to be met with Ruzek's eyes on him, still. Jay wondered what the hell he had gotten himself into, because he not only had one weirdo that seemed fixated on him for some reason in Ruzek, his scary Sergeant couldn't keep his eyes off of him either.

* * *

"So what do you think?" Antonio asked, joining Jay in the break room. Jay offered Antonio a cup of coffee, which he took happily and Jay worked to make another cup for himself. "You liking Intelligence so far?"

Jay just bobbed his head around. The day had been going fine so far. Nothing really exciting had popped off just yet, Jay too busy catching up on the current case that they were working on. Jay had been worried that he might've been out of touch with the job but he found out that it was just like riding a bike and easing back into being a cop—and now a detective—had been easier than he thought.

"Alright, I guess." Jay replied, sitting down on the small table in the break room. "Pretty good so far."

"Yeah? Good." Antonio sat down next to Jay, watching as Jay took a sip of the coffee. "You okay man? You look like you haven't slept in weeks." Jay just returned a small nod. Antonio didn't buy his answer, his face frowning. "So how's the wife? She gave you a hard time about the job? And how you're risking your life by working here?"

Jay's face dropped at the question. He had been trying his hardest not to let his mind wander off to Erin. He had been forcing himself to focus on the job, on the case and it was almost working. _Almost._ But Antonio's question was like cold water suddenly splashed on his face, just the truth slapping in his face about the state of his life.

"Um," he held the handle of his mug tightly. "Erin left me." Antonio's eyes widened, obviously not expecting the revelation.

"Oh man, I'm sorry Jay." He squeezed Jay's shoulders in comfort. Jay just nodded. "What happened?"

Jay licked his lips, expecting the question yet not having the answer. "I don't know," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. "I wish I knew but she just left."

"Man," Antonio sighed. "No wonder you looked so down and looked like you haven't slept. I just thought that you were nervous for your first day or something." Antonio tried to think of something to say to Jay, to make the situation better, to comfort his friend. But the sadness that was practically radiating off of Jay made it clear that no matter what he said, it wouldn't do much good. That broken hearts needed more than just comforting words to heal. But Antonio figured it couldn't hurt. "You know," he started, squeezing Jay's shoulders again. "The best thing about this job is that you get to take out your anger and aggression on the case and do some good in the world. Bring some justice to the victims."

Jay let out a small chuckle, knowing Antonio's intention to cheer him up. "Thanks man," Jay voiced. "For getting me into the unit."

Antonio made a 'pssh' sound, waving Jay's thank off. "Please, that was all you and all those years of you being a great cop. All I did was make Voight aware of it. I did nothing. Come on, let's go catch the bad guys." They stood up and headed for the door, Jay stopping when he saw Voight near the entrance, the Sergeant having heard their conversation. He waited, wondering if Voight was going to say something. After all, his Sergeant did know Erin from before but Voight remained silent, just continued to study Jay under his unnerving stare and retreated back into his office.

* * *

The job had been a wonderful distraction for Jay, he had to admit. He had been working around the clock, coming in extra early, staying extra late and he had been spending practically 24 hours of each day in the bullpen. He had attributed the long hours to being new and needing the extra time to catch up on all the cases and they had pretty much left him alone. And he had been grateful because Jay didn't want to go home.

Because home was now an empty penthouse, dark and cold. Because every time he walked through the doors, he couldn't stop himself from getting his hopes up that she'd be there, Erin would be back and waiting for him at their kitchen island just as she always did before. But that hope had been crushed over and over again when he found the place empty, no sign of Erin returning. And because home was now nothing but reminders of the time they had spent together, studying in the kitchen, making love in the bedroom, cuddling on the couch, all the things he'd never get to do with her again.

So he had taken refuge in the bullpen. Most of the time he had been alone, the team going home because they had family and loved ones that they wanted to spend time with. Not that Jay had preferred it any other way, he liked being the only one there as he poured over the case files, his mind distracted and the voices in his head silenced. But he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, letting him know that it wouldn't be the case today. He glanced over and tried not to groan when he saw Ruzek came up the steps, taking off his jacket and placing it on his chair. Jay titled his head a greeting, not wanting to be rude. There was really nothing wrong with Ruzek. He had been nice enough but it was just the way he kept looking at Jay—like he knew him from before—that had weirded him out a little. Jay had spoken to Antonio about it but the older man just waved him off, saying that Ruzek was just a little strange but that he was a solid and trustworthy team member. So Jay had let it go or tried to anyways—but as he felt Ruzek's stare on him again this morning, Jay had enough.

"Alright man," Jay snapped, deciding to confront the guy and what the hell was wrong with him. "What the hell?"

Ruzek broke his eye contact on Jay like he had finally snapped out it. "What?" he asked, startled.

Jay stood up and walked over to him, Adam's eyes widening. "Ever since my first day here, you've been staring at me strangely like you know me or something. It's weird and it's creeping me out so can you just stop? Or at least tell me why the hell you keep looking at me? Do I know you from somewhere or something?"

Adam gulped, not expecting Jay to confront him. Jay waved his hand, expecting an answer from Ruzek. "Sorry man," the blond man finally finding his words. "I didn't mean to. I didn't even realize I was doing it to be honest." Jay arched his eyebrows, not really buying his explanation. Adam bit his lips and sighed. "I…I just…I wasn't expecting to work next to Jay Halstead."

Jay frowned. "So you do know me from somewhere?" Jay had no clue where it could've been. He didn't even know Adam Ruzek existed before Antonio had introduced them. And while Jay was pretty well known in the upper society of Chicago and had made quite a few appearances in the Society pages, he certainly didn't think of himself as famous or a celebrity so he didn't know where Adam knew him from.

Adam wrinkled his nose before finally spilling the truth. "It's just…my girl, I've seen her googled you before and I just happened to be next to her when she did so that's where I've seen you."

Jay sucked his teeth, listening to Adam's explanation. "So your girlfriend has googled me," he repeated, skeptically.

"Yeah," Adam nodded. "Kim, she's into celebrity gossip and the whole social media thing. I know it's lame but don't worry she's not one of those crazy stalker fans or anything. She just claims that she has nothing better to do and it helps time go by when she used to be a waitress and me and Erin had tried to talk her out of wasting her money on all those gossip rags…." Jay was about to walk away and just let Ruzek continue to ramble on but he suddenly stopped.

"Wait!" His heart raced as he caught the tail end of Adam's rant. "You said your girlfriend's name was Kim? And that she was a waitress? Erin," Jay took a deep breath. There was no way. No way that Adam knew Erin and that his girlfriend was the Kim that he had met before, Erin's best friend.

"Yeah?" Adam replied. "Kim used to be a waitress but she graduated last month and got a job at a firm downtown."

"Erin," Jay breathed out. "Erin Lindsay?"

"Oh you know her?" Adam asked with a grin, clueless of what that meant to Jay. "Yeah she and Kim are like best friends," he said with a roll of the eyes as if it was amusing. "She's actually crashing with Kim for a while actually. I don't really know what happened and I don't ask but apparently, she's…"

Jay interrupted Adam, his heart thudding so loud against his chest. "She's been living with Kim?" He dropped his hands on Adam's table, his whole body sagging in relief that he had finally found out where Erin had been for the last month. Really, he could've kicked himself. He should've figured out that Erin would turn to her friend.

"Yeah?" Adam replied, confusion clear in his voice. "How do you know Erin?"

Jay closed his eyes, whispering, "she's my wife."

* * *

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Adam muttered as he bounced on his feet up and down, shaking his head. Jay tried to calm the guy down, putting his hands on his shoulder to get Adam to stop moving.

"I owe you a big one, man." Jay said.

After unexpectedly finding out from Adam that Erin had been crashing with Kim, he had tried to convince Adam to tell him where Kim lived. The guy had been reluctant as expected and didn't budge until he had heard the whole story from Jay and just how he knew Erin. Adam still remained a bit reluctant but finally gave in.

"I'm only doing this because I've been hearing from Kim just how down Erin had been. Kim has been worried about Erin and has been doing everything to cheer her up but nothing," Adam explained as they arrived outside of Kim's door. "Man, I hope she doesn't kill me for this." He knocked and Jay's breath hitched as he waited for Kim to answer, knowing Erin was behind those doors.

Finally the door opened and Kim came out. "Adam!" she greeted her boyfriend happily but her smile automatically stilted when she saw Jay standing behind Adam. "Jay!" The shock was clear on her face. "What are you…" she glared at Adam. "You told him!"

"In my defense, I didn't know what I was saying because I was in the dark about the whole thing," Adam defended himself. "How was I supposed to know that Erin was married to Jay or that we'd be working together?"

Kim rolled her eyes and turned to Jay. "You can't be here," she told Jay. "She doesn't want to see you."

Jay stepped around Adam. "I just need to see her for five minutes. Just five minutes," he said. "I just want to talk to her." Kim pursed her lips, obviously debating with herself whether to let Jay in or not. She didn't want to just ambush Erin with Jay suddenly but she knew that the couple needed to at least talk. Even she didn't know why Erin had suddenly left Jay, the former being extremely tight lipped about the whole thing. All she knew was that one night Erin had suddenly knocked on her door, distraught with her suitcase by her feet, and as soon as Kim had opened the door, Erin had fallen apart in her arms. Kim had thought Jay had done something to Erin, otherwise what else could explain why Erin was in so much pain and wasn't able to stop crying? But Erin had quickly corrected her that Jay had done nothing wrong but that she had left him and that their marriage was over.

Kim had tried to get more information out of Erin, trying to figure out just exactly why she left Jay but hadn't been able to. And after a while, Kim had let things go and focused on just helping Erin heal. So far it hadn't worked so well, her friend clearly still hurting from the break up. Erin had been withdrawn, quiet, and she lost quite a lot of weight, not having an appetite. Kim sighed. Maybe it _was_ a good idea to just let Jay in and just finally have the two of them talk things out. Because as she took in Jay's own appearance, it was obvious that he wasn't doing so well either, his handsome face that she had seen in pictures and in person before was more hollow than she recalled, his eyes sad and she had overnight bags that were smaller than his eye bags.

"Fine," she gave in, opening the door wider and stepping aside to let the two men in. Jay tentatively entered the apartment, his eyes searching around for Erin. "She's in the back. I'll get her."

Jay held his breath as he waited for Erin to come out. His nerves were all over the place, both excited to finally see her again but equally as scared at how she'd react to seeing him. He wringed his fingers, just so he had something to do because time felt so slow as he waited for her. Finally after about thirty seconds that felt like hours, he heard her voice.

"Yeah what's up Kim?" she came out, answering Kim's call but stopping in her tracks when she saw him. "Jay!" she gasped, her eyes looking at him in surprise, her mouth parted. He took her in with his eyes, his mouth too dry to utter a word as his eyes scanned her up and down, like he couldn't actually believe that she was actually here, standing in front of him. He had been waiting for this moment for a month now, just hoping that he'd see her again all the while trying not to lose hope and think that it might never actually happen again. But here he was, here she was, here _they were._ Just both of them standing still, staring at each other, not knowing what to do next.

"Erin," he finally managed to speak, his voice rough and shaky. She was just as beautiful as the last time he saw her but he couldn't stop the worry from rising in his chest when he took in her more lean form, she had lost too much weight in the span of a month. He wanted to reach out to her, to pull her into his arms and just never let her go. He wanted answers, he wanted everything. He scanned her body up and down, like he was making sure that she was really okay, that she was alright. Her eyes seemed to be doing the same to him, the concern in the hazel eyes so clear. He wanted to reassure her that he was okay…now. Now that he had seen her again. He took a step, wanting to reach out to her.

But she quickly took a step back and she crossed her arms. "What are you doing here Jay?" There was a change in her body language and it had happened so quickly that Jay almost missed it. Almost missed the moment when he saw her sealed herself off and steeled herself against him. She was putting up an act, he knew.

"I just needed to see you," he replied, standing in his place. He didn't want to push her, didn't want to corner her. That wasn't his reason for coming here, he just wanted to see her. "Make sure you're okay."

She let out a laugh, cold and unfeeling. "As you can see, I'm great so you can leave."

Even though he knew that she was putting on this fake façade, it still hurt to hear the chill in her voice. So far removed from his Erin and the raspy voice that soothed him when they had their late night talks, the voice that encouraged him, picked him up when he was down, the voice that made him feel like he could do anything he wanted to—because she believed in him.

"You're great?" he asked, the disbelief in his voice clear. She shrugged, her arms crossed like it was a wall she had built against him.

"Well, I'm not," he admitted. "I'm terrible. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I can't function because you're not there. Because you left and it's been a month and I still don't know why you left." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I just….I just miss you Erin."

She sucked in her breath, her eyes closed off. "I don't care," she gritted out, breathing deeply.

"Why?" he asked. "Why did you leave? Just…just tell me why."

"Because I don't love you," she replied, trying to keep her voice steady as she said the words.

"I don't believe you," Jay shot back. "I know something happened, something you're not telling me." He reached out and held her arms, pleading with her to look at him but she wouldn't meet his eyes when he was close to her. "Erin, look at me," he pleaded. "Just look at me and tell me why. And I'll fix it, whatever and whoever that made you leave, I'll fix it all."

She shut her eyes tight, her head still down. "Erin," he whispered her name but she was still ignoring him.

She exhaled, like she was bracing herself and she finally looked up and met his eyes, trying to keep all the emotions out of the hazel orbs as much as she can. She broke the hold he had on her arms. "There's nothing to fix Jay," she stated, her voice even and unfeeling. "I told you that I just don't love you and I'm sorry that you don't believe me. That you can't accept the fact that there's someone in this world that doesn't love you or think that you're some special person. But I don't. I just want you to file the divorce papers and just leave me alone. And just let me forget the fact that we were even married in the first place."

He shook his head. "You're lying."

She sighed. "I'm not."

"So all this time, everything that we've been through, everything that we've shared with one another, it's all been….."

"One big lie," Erin finished for him. "A way to pass the time for me." She shrugged, like she didn't care that she was hurting him and that she was stabbing him with her words. "Look Jay, you're a good looking guy okay? And you're rich and yeah, I needed a way to pass the time and make the six months go by faster. It was fun for a while and the sex was nice. I'm sorry that you fell for me and thought more into what you think we had but I don't love you. And I'm over it. I just want a divorce and for you to leave me alone."

He chuckled, mirthlessly. "You're a terrible liar you know Erin?" He stepped away from her, knowing that whatever he could say would fall on deaf ears right now. Because Erin was determined to shut him out and if there was anything he had learned about Erin in the past six months was that there was no one more stubborn than her. "I know you're lying about something. You're keeping something about why you left. That what you said to me, you don't really mean them. I can see it in your eyes." She dropped her eyes, avoiding his eyes. "It's okay. I know you have your reasons. And it's okay because I love you anyways. I know you love me too and I can wait. I can wait for you to come back because I know we belong together."

Her head was still glued to the floor but he felt her resolve breaking little by little. But he didn't want to push her anymore, cause her anymore pain. That wasn't what he came for. He'd rather take on all the hurt and all the pain on his shoulders than for her to feel an ounce of it.

"I just wanted to make sure that you're okay," he told her. "You know where I'll be." He laid a kiss on top of her head, closing his eyes, and pulled himself away from her.

Walking out of Kim's apartment and leaving Erin inside was the hardest thing he had ever had to do but he knew it needed to be done. He couldn't push her to come back to him, she needed to do that on her own. He didn't know whether she'd come back or not, didn't know if he'd ever have her in his arms again. But one thing he did know for sure was that something had happened that had convinced her to think that leaving him was the best thing for him and he was going to find out what it was.

* * *

Erin entered the kitchen room and took a seat on the dining table, next to Kim. The younger woman had been avoiding her for a week and Erin knew that it was because she was feeling guilty and bad about letting Jay in. But Erin wasn't mad. She knew that Kim had good intentions for doing what she did.

"Hey," she said, trying to keep the smile on her face to let Kim that she came in peace. Kim returned a smile, an apologetic one. "It's okay."

"You're not mad?" Erin shook her head. "I'm sorry anyways," Kim offered, reaching to hold Erin's hands. "I just thought that you guys needed to talk."

"I know," Erin sighed, looking down. "You're right. We did need to talk."

"He looked really devastated by everything," Kim commented, the familiar feeling of guilt rose up in Erin at Kim's comment. She knew that she had hurt Jay, had hurt him deeply. But it was for his own good, she repeated to herself. She had been reminding herself of that every few minutes so she wouldn't run back to him. Because she missed him so much, she was miserable without him. She loved him and she wanted him to be happy and get everything that he deserved and he deserved better than her. And if this was something that she could do to give him that, then she'd take the pain happily. She just hated that she was causing him pain too, the anguish and the heartbreak on his face stabbed her to her core. But she knew—_she'd hoped_—that it would just be temporary. That with time and space, he'd forget about her and move on with someone better suited for him because Erin didn't think she was all that memorable.

"It's best this way, believe me." Kim didn't look convinced but she kept quiet. Erin appreciated it. Kim had been nothing but supportive ever since Erin had arrived at her doorsteps, needing a place to crash. She knew she couldn't go back to her old apartment, knowing that Jay would look for her there. Kim had not only given her shelter but she had given Erin her shoulders to cry on and space when she knew Erin needed it.

Erin sighed. She really needed to start moving on with her life and started figuring out the mess that was her life out. She was back to where she started, only now she was out of a job. She didn't want to go back to the diner or get another waitressing job but she needed a job and she needed it fast. She hadn't taken a penny of Jay or Will's money even if that meant that her dream of taking the nursing courses and becoming a nurse was pushed until further notice. There was no way she could've taken their money. Even thought she had tried to convince Jay that she didn't love him and that the whole six months they spent together was a lie and all for money, there was a part of her that still wanted him to know that she did care about him. It seemed as though Jay didn't believe the lies that she has tried to spew out to get him to leave, to get him to hate her and to forget her, in the first place either. She dropped her face into her hands, her head starting to hurt from just overwhelming emotions. The mild she was getting started to intensify when she heard the loud sound of her phone ringing, causing her to groan and answered it.

"Hello?" she spoke into the phone, her eyebrows furrowing when it was a number that she didn't recognize. "Yeah this is Erin Lindsay. Oh my god, yeah of course. Thank you for calling. I'll be right there." She hung up the phone and stood up, frantic.

"What happened? What's wrong?" Kim asked, wondering what had gotten her friend acting like this all of a sudden.

"It's Marty. He had a heart attack and he's in the hospital."

* * *

"Hey there are my girls," Marty greeted with a big smile as Erin and Kim entered the hospital room, the two women bending down to give him a kiss on the cheeks.

"You had us worried, Marty." Erin rubbed his hand gently, trying to avoid the IV line that was inserted into his skin.

Marty chuckled. "As you can see, the old man is still kicking and will live to see another day," he remarked, trying to keep the mood light and stop them from worrying about him. "Thank you for coming."

"Of course," Kim said, as if there was any chance that they wouldn't be here for him.

"I don't have any family so when they asked me who I wanted to be contacted as my next of kin, I told them your name," Marty said, looking at Erin. "Because you two are the family I have."

Erin nodded, smiling. "You're family to us too Marty. I'm just glad that you're alright. Just rest up okay?" She squeezed his hands. "I can run by your place and get you some change of clothes, if you want?" Marty nodded, accepting Erin's offer and she and Kim left Marty to get some sleep.

They exited the room and came face to face with Marty's doctor. "Hi," Erin got the doctor's attention. She just needed to hear from the doctor himself that Marty was going to be fine. "Is Marty going to be alright?"

The doctor looked down in his chart. "Are you Erin Lindsay?" Erin nodded. "Okay, I can share this info with you then with his permission. He had a mild heart attack and it was mild enough that we treated it with a less invasive option so he underwent an angioplasty instead of an open heart surgery. He is out of the danger zone for now but I recommended him to get a couple of stents inserted as soon as possible. The stents will help open up the coronary arteries and it'll help prevent more attacks in the future but he declined."

Erin frowned. "Why?"

The doctor looked hesitant to elaborate. "Look the only form of insurance he has is medicare and it's not a comprehensive enough of a plan to cover for all the costs. The insurance he had covered the angioplasty but most basic insurance plans like what he has won't really cover what they consider extraneous treatment. Technically, he'll be fine and stents aren't needed for him to live so the insurance won't cover it. But if it was my family member that was lying on the bed, I'd made sure that he get the procedure done as soon as possible."

Erin's anger grew. "So this is about money? An old man is unable to get the treatment he needs to live a healthy life because he doesn't have enough money?"

The doctor held up his hands. "Trust me Ms. Lindsay, I share your frustrations with our universal health care. But it's not up to me here and I don't decide what the insurance covers. Look, a staff from the financial department had explained all this to Marty okay and he refused the treatment on his own. He is already going to have a high bill to pay for this hospital stay and I have to say I don't really blame him for not wanting to get the treatment." The doctor gave her an apologetic look and left.

* * *

"Can you believe that?" Erin was still fuming. She couldn't believe not only Marty had gone through something scary and life threatening, now he was left with this massive bill to pay. Erin didn't know where he would get the money to pay the bill off would come from.

"We seriously need an overhaul in this country," Kim griped, agreeing with Erin. Erin shook her head, still angry as she shoved a few shirts into an overnight bag. They were in Marty's place, packing him some items from home to help him feel more comfortable while he stayed at the hospital. "How much did the lady from billing say the bill was?"

"Just for the angioplasty and the estimated three days in the hospital alone? $25,000. That's not including the cost for the procedure to get stent put in. Otherwise it'd be over $75k, easily."

Kim's eyes bulged at hearing the cost. "How is Marty supposed to pay for it? Work at the diner for the rest of his life and have every cent of his paychecks to go pay for it?"

Erin sighed, she had been thinking about it too. She knew there was no way Marty could pay for it. That was the whole reason he had refused to have stents put in, knowing that he couldn't afford it. But Erin knew that it would save his life, keep him from having another heart attack so he needed it, even if he couldn't afford it.

"I need to help him," Erin said. "I can take on his debt," she voiced.

"Erin," Kim replied, like it was a crazy idea. Maybe it was. "That's a lot of money."

"I know but it's Marty. He's family. He needs the procedure. He's lucky that this heart attack was a minor one but next time, he might not be so lucky so if he needs the stents put in to prevent more attacks in the future, then he needs to get it."

"Okay, I agree with all that but Erin where are you going to get the money?"

Erin shrugged. "I can work out some sort of a payment plan. I have some money left over from my savings. And I guess I can go back to the diner, actually get a job and make some money."

"But I thought you were going to use this time to find a job that you actually like," Kim commented.

"Who knows how long that'll take before I find a good job. My resume isn't exactly screaming qualified candidate for any other type of job besides minimum wage ones," Erin replied. Really, she knew there was no way she could leave Marty to fend for himself. She knew that Marty didn't have a lot of money, barely had any savings and that he was living paycheck to paycheck. There was no way he could afford to pay off his debt and Marty was right when he said they were family. He was the only resemblance of a father figure she had in her life and she couldn't turn her back on him. If that meant she had to go back to a job she hated then so be it. She zipped up the bag. "Can you take this back to the hospital?"

"Yeah," Kim took the bag from Erin. "Where are you going?"

"I need to go talk to the manager, see if I can get my job back." Erin gave Kim a small smile and left. The younger woman watched as Erin left the room, sad at the sudden turn of events. Erin was taking on a whole lot of responsibility here. Kim knew just how much Erin hated going back to the diner but she was willing to just so she could help someone. Kim ran her hands through her hair, her heart sad for everyone involved.

She swung the bag on her shoulder, accidentally knocking a few knick knacks on the nightstand during the process. "Shoot," she bent down to pick up the items, her hands stilling when she saw a business card on the ground before she slowly picked it up, bringing it closer to read the name on the card. _Jay Halstead._

* * *

Erin entered the billing department, wanting to speak to the staff that she spoke to earlier so they can get some sort of payment plan started and Marty could have the procedure he needed right away. The doctor had recommended the procedure to be done as soon as possible so Erin knew she needed to get it done quickly.

"HI," she smiled at the woman working the counter. "I was here earlier. I was just wondering if we could work out some sort of payment plan for Marty Brookes?"

The woman that she had spoken to before gave Erin a confused look. "Oh, I'm sorry but it's not necessary."

Erin's heart dropped. She had been counting on working out some sort of a payment plan with the hospital. There was no way she could come up with all that money in one large sum. "Please," she said. "There has be something we can work out. I promise you'll get all the money."

The woman cut Erin off. "No, it's really not necessary." She placed a piece of paper on the counter. "The money has been paid."

"What?" Erin was shocked, picking up the paper to get a closer look. Sure enough the bill had been paid off, all at once. "What?" she repeated, her mind still unable to wrap around the fact that the $100k bill had been paid off.

"Yeah, I thought you knew," the staff member said, giving Erin a strange look. "Marty is about to undergo the procedure as we speak. If you hurry, you might be able to catch him before he goes under." Erin had so many more questions but she had no time and she rushed out of the room, trying to get to Marty's room as fast as she could.

She was breathless as she ran down the hallway, trying to catch Marty before he was taken to the operating room. So much so that she ran smacked dab into a hard chest, the person immediately reaching out to steady her. She regained her balance and looked up to find it had been Jay who she had ran into.

"Jay?!" she uttered out, not knowing what he was doing there for. "What are you doing here?" For a minute, she was worried that something had happened to him. She had been worried about him, knowing that he was now a detective and risked his life everyday out on the job. But after scanning him up and down and finding him to be okay, she was confused of why he was there. But things was put into place for her when she finally realized that he was coming out of Marty's room. "You were the one that paid off Marty's bills? How did you even know that he was here? Wait, how do you even know him anyway?" She was lost. Sure, she had mentioned who Marty was to Jay several times and how close the two were but as far as she knew, Jay and Marty had never met. So for her to find Jay coming out of Marty's room and that Jay had somehow paid off $100,000 debt for Marty, her head was spinning.

"Slow down," Jay held his hand up, stopping her rant. "I got a call from Kim that Marty had a heart attack. She explained that he needed this procedure but that his insurance wouldn't cover it so he was refusing treatment."

"So what?" she crossed her arms. "You convinced him to get the procedure done?"

"Yeah, he needs it doesn't he?" Jay retorted like it was obvious.

"Why?" Erin questioned, her face confused at why Jay was willing to pay that much money for who was essentially a stranger to him. She knew Jay was a generous person but this was a whole another level—this went beyond generosity.

Jay shrugged. "I've talked to Marty before and I like him. That's why I gave him my card and told him to call me whenever he needed something and he need this. So I'm here."

"That's it?" she asked, grimacing to herself when she noticed a flash of hurt went across Jay's face, like he thought she was accusing him of something.

"What else is there?" he shot back. He sighed. "Look I really don't have any ulterior motives here okay? I didn't do this so you'd feel indebted to me or something." He brought his finger to his brow, scratching it, his habit whenever he was uncomfortable or had something to say. "I know how much he means to you so did you have something to do with me paying the bill? Yeah but I'm not expecting anything back from him or from you. I just wanted to help and I _could_ help so I did."

"Jay," she exhaled, wanting to reach out to him but holding herself back. "I wasn't trying to accuse you."

"I know," he cut her off. "If you did, I wouldn't blame you either." He brought his hand up like he wanted to reach out but stopped himself. "I just….he's important to you so he's important to me. That's all. I'm not expecting anything to change. If you come back to me, I want it to be because you want to, not because you feel like you owed me. That's the last thing I want." She nodded, taking in his words. He gave her a small smile. "Beside I like him, he has given me good advice and I want to make sure he's okay."

"Thank you," Erin told him, sincerely. She didn't know how she could thank him enough for being so selfless and doing this for Marty. He might've just saved Marty's life and gave him a quality life with this act. There were no words she could say that would be tantamount to the appreciation and love she felt for him. Jay just nodded, didn't say anything else before walking away. But he didn't need to. The look in his eyes had been clear enough. That he loved her as much as he did before and that he did this for her, because he knew just how important Marty was to her. She turned around, watching his retreating back walk down the corridor, further and further away from her. She wanted to run to him, stop him and just kiss him and let him know just how much she loved him. But she didn't, _she couldn't_.

* * *

Jay walked into his father's house, heading straight to the dining room. His father had been calling him for the past week, practically demanding his appearance at dinner. Jay had refused as long as he could, had tried everything to get out of it, thinking that his father only requested his presence to lecture him about Jay quitting Halstead Enterprises and becoming a detective. And Jay didn't want or need to hear that. But his father had surprised him, telling him congratulations on his new job and he had managed to sound sincere enough that Jay felt that he needed to put effort in himself. If his dad was going to be turning over a new leaf, then he needed to also so that was how he found himself here.

"Jay!" his father greeted him, "You're here." Jay just nodded, his eyes rose when he was pulled into a half hug by his father. This was certainly new, Jay couldn't recall the last time his dad had given him any sort of physical affection. Will was already at the table, watching the two interact. Jay just titled his head at Will, greeting him, before taking his seat. Jay waited for his father to ask about Erin, the older man still not knowing that she had left but the question never came, neither did any mention about her absence at the dinner. Jay let it be, hoping that he wouldn't mention it at all, not wanting to explain to his dad that Erin had left him. Jay didn't think he'd be able to hold in his anger if his dad started to celebrate at the news or god forbid, if he re-started his usual agenda of trying to play matchmaker for Jay with every available socialite in Chicago.

Jay looked around at the large table, frowning when he saw two extra plate settings. "I thought it was just going to be the three of us. Are we expecting other people?"

"Just two more," his father replied, keeping his answer vague. But he started grinning when he heard the doorbell and stood up to greet the new guests. As soon as Fiona and her mother walked through the door, Jay knew what the whole evening was about and just what his father had on his mind for the night.

"Fiona, why don't you take a seat next to Jay?" His father suggested, sickeningly sweet and Fiona agreed, greeting Jay with a smile as she sat down next to him. Jay didn't return her smile, too busy fuming inside being ambushed by his father. He looked over at Will to see if his brother had any inkling of just what their father was up to but Will looked just as surprised as Jay. "Jay, don't be rude. Doesn't Fiona look beautiful tonight?" Pat and Fiona's mother exchanged a look across the table, smiling at each other. "We thought we'd get you two together and all of us could have a nice dinner together."

Jay gritted his teeth, pissed off at the gall of his father. For all his father knew, Erin was still here and here he was trying to pair Jay up with some other woman, knowing that Jay was a married man. Did he really think Jay would be like him? Willing to cheat? Disrespect his marriage for whatever sidepiece that came along? Maybe if Jay had been in a better state of mind, he would have been more tactful and would've tried to avoid making a scene, not wanting to make a fuss in front of his father and make waves. But he was tired, he was broken and this was the last thing he needed so he slammed his napkin on the table and stood up to leave.

"Jay, sit down," his father ordered, voice stern. Jay didn't listen, pushing his chair back to make his exit. "Jay!"

"I'm not staying for this!" Jay yelled back as he reached the living room, needing to get out of there as soon as he could. "Whatever plan you have of getting me and Fiona together, you can forget it. I don't want her. I'm married and I have a wife that I'm in love with!"

Pat scoffed derisively. "You mean Erin? Didn't she leave you?"

Jay's eyes narrowed. "How did you know that?"

"Please," Pat scoffed again, smirking. "You think I don't know what goes on in my son's life? I know she left you a month ago."

"Yet you never bother to ask how I was doing?" Jay asked. Really he shouldn't have been surprised. It was as though it was brand new information that Pat never cared about his sons beyond what they could do for him and in this case, so Jay could marry Fiona and merge the two companies together even more. Because that was all his father cared about—his own selfish needs.

"You should be doing great!" Pat shot back. "It was time that the skank finally left."

Jay fisted his hand, getting in his dad's face. "Don't call her that," he warned, barely able to contain his anger. A storm brewed in his eyes, clouding the usual blue orbs.

"It is what she is, isn't it?" Pat said again. "A hooker? She sold her body on the streets and she married you for money didn't she?"

Jay just looked at his father in shock. "You knew all this time." He realized just how foolish he had been, thinking that his father was actually making an effort to better their relationship. He had almost even praised him for not making too big a deal of Jay marrying Erin but it seemed as though Pat had been keeping his shit under wraps, digging up all the information about Erin without Jay knowing.

"Of course I did. What? You think I was just going to stand by and do nothing when you ruined your life by marrying some street trash?"

"I told you don't call her that," Jay warned again.

Pat scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You know Jay, Will had tried to convince me that you marrying _Erin," _he said mockingly, "was a good idea. How it was necessary so you can dig yourself out of the legal hole you've dug yourself into, as usual. And I was actually willing to let things go, at first anyways. I just thought you had better sense and that after the six months, you'd pay her what you owed her and she'd disappeared back to whatever hole she crawled out of. But then I saw you two together at the Christmas party and I saw how you looked at her, how you held her and danced with her and I just knew. You really are your mother's son. You're weak and stupid and you're willing to throw your life away for something as useless as love. There was no way I could've let that happen."

Suddenly things clicked into place for Jay. "You did something, didn't you? That's why Erin left."Pat didn't reply, refusing to admit to it. Jay just shook his head. "Go to hell dad," he spat and stormed out of the house.

* * *

"Jay!" Will was surprised to find Jay back in the office, not expecting him to see him there, especially after what happened last night with their father.

"I need your help," Jay said without greeting Will.

"With what?" Will asked worriedly, taking in the agitated state Jay was in. Will had tried to reach out to Jay after he stormed out of their father's home last night but his brother didn't answer. Will was giving Jay a couple more hours to answer his calls or otherwise he had already decided to go down to Jay's house himself and find out what was going on.

"I know Dad did something to Erin, said something to her. That's why she left. I don't know why I didn't think of that sooner. But that bastard, he's the reason why she left." Jay was almost incoherent, rambling on about their father. Will had tried his hardest not to let his mind wandered to their father ever since Mouse had mentioned how Pat could've been responsible. Will didn't want to think that their father could so callous and heartless to hurt his own son and break his own son's heart but really, he should've known better. It was exactly who their father was and just because Will had wished desperately for him to be otherwise, at the end of the day, leopards didn't change their spots.

"What do you want me to do?" Will asked Jay. He was willing to do anything to help his younger brother.

They had hacked into his father's personal accounts, Will trying out a couple of passwords before landing on the right one. After all, Will was the closest to their father and if anyone could figure out the password, it was him.

"What are we looking for here?" Will asked as they scrolled through the hundreds of transactions his father's accounts contained.

"Anything that has to do with Erin." Jay murmured, his eyes glue to the screen, searching.

"You really think she'd take the money? That's why she left?" Jay immediately shook his head.

"No, of course not. But there has to be something here that forced her to leave. Maybe he threatened her with something." Will shrugged, searching through the records.

"Nothing," he commented, finding nothing relating to Erin. Jay sighed, expecting to find an answer but not getting one. "Wait, what's this?" He pointed to a transaction on a screen. "Dad made a seven figure donation to Chicago Police Department." He looked at Jay. "Dad never donated to public services before. Why would he suddenly donate over $5 million dollars now?"

* * *

Jay barged up the stairs and entered Voight's office without bothering to knock. If his Sergeant was surprised by Jay's sudden appearance, he didn't let it show, just looked at Jay with an arch eyebrow. "Something on your mind Halstead?"

Jay held up the paper in his hand. "Yeah, this." He slammed the paper down on Voight's desk, Voight barely glancing at it before looking back at Jay. "My father, he bribed the department to getting me in here didn't he?"

Voight sighed. "Halstead, calm down."

That worked as opposite as Voight intended and Jay felt himself more worked up. "How could I? This whole time I've been thinking that I'm here because I worked hard to and that I belong here but then I find out that it was just because my dad had bribed the department to get me in. Why the fuck would you go along with this? Is the department that desperate for money that it could easily be bought?"

"Watch how you talk to me Halstead," Voight warned. "I know you're pissed off but you still need to watch your mouth."

Jay scoffed. "Fire me then," Jay said. "After all, you guys would let anyone in your department as long as you got enough money in return right? Pretty sure I can just make another donation and get my job back."

Voight sighed, squeezing the bridge of his nose. "I like you Halstead and that's why I'm giving you this chance. Shut the door," he ordered, staring down Jay until Jay finally turned and closed the door. "Sit down." Jay sat down on the seat across from Voight, his arms crossed as he waited for what VOight had to say. "Your dad did make a large donation to Chicago P.D but it's not what you think."

* * *

"Here," Erin took the offered coffee from Kim, thanking her with a smile. "You look like you needed it."

"Thanks," she replied, taking a sip of the coffee. She leaned against the wall, shifting her body until she found a comfortable enough position in the hospital chair.

"So," Kim started, looking at Erin from the side of her eyes. "Jay came through for Marty, didn't he?"

Erin sighed, crossing her legs. "Yeah, he did." Marty was in the operating room, getting two stents put in and it was all thanks to Jay. "I wish I could say I was surprised but" Erin shrugged. "It's Jay. He's amazing. He's caring and dependable and generous." If it was possible, she loved him even more after everything. He had no reason to help her out, to help Marty out. Marty was practically a stranger to him but Jay had stepped in anyway, after just one phone call. He had given so much money, more money than Erin would ever see in her lifetime and he had dramatically increased Marty's quality of life with his generous act.

"Then why did you leave him?" Kim finally dared to ask. Erin met Kim's eyes at the question. "I know that it's none of my business and I've tried keeping my mouth shut for the past month but," she turned her body towards Erin. "I'm dying to know here Erin. It's clear that you love the guy and it's more than obvious that he loves you too so why did you leave him suddenly?"

Erin sighed, dropping her head. She knew she owed Kim this. After everything Kim had done for the past month, Kim deserved to know why she suddenly had an extra houseguest intruding in her space. "Okay, I'll tell you."

* * *

_Erin stepped into the small office in the precinct, wondering why Hank had suddenly told her that they needed to talk. She turned and waited as Hank closed the office door. "What's wrong?" _

_"You're married to Jay Halstead?" Voight asked her again. Erin nodded. _

_"Is everything okay Sergeant?" Her concern was growing now. She needed to know what was going on. "Hank?" _

_"You know, Halstead is a great cop and Antonio has been talking my ear off about him," Hank started, scratching his nose. "So I thought what the hell? Let's see what this kid is all about and I read over his file." Erin suddenly became anxious, thinking that Voight was going to bring up Ben Corson and how Jay handled the case. She had no problem with how Jay handled the fragile case but she was afraid that others might've not seen it that way. But she was ready to defend her husband, every step of the way. _

_"Listen," she started to speak but Voight held up his hand, cutting her off. _

_"I'm not looking to judge Halstead about the past cases he worked on," Voight told her, like he already knew all about Ben Corson. "I am not the most by the books guy in the department either. You know that Erin." She did, after all he had tossed the book aside to help her out several times when she was younger already. He was the sole reason why Erin didn't have a record as an adult so she was well aware of Voight's less than conventional methods. "I don't think I'd handle that case any differently than Halstead did so I don't have any room to judge. My point is this—I like the kid and what he could bring to the table so I pulled his file to the side, told the Ivory Tower that I want him on my team as soon as his test result cleared."_

_"That's great!" Erin cried cheerfully. "Jay's going to be so thrilled. This is his dream and he's going to be an awesome addition." Erin could've spent the whole day singing Jay's praises. But the sullen look on Voight's face had told her that perhaps it wasn't all good news. "Hank?" _

_"I requested Jay on my team but I was ordered by the higher ups that even though Jay had passed his detective exam, he wasn't going to be a detective in my unit or any other—at least not in Chicago." Erin's face dropped, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. _

_"What do you mean?" _

_"Apparently, a large donation would be made to the Chicago Police Department by Halsted Enterprises. All the department had to do was to toss out Jay's results." Voight continued. "His father made it clear that he didn't want his son to be a detective, at all. Bribed the department to make sure he got what he wanted." Erin was completely shocked, unable to believe that Jay's father would stoop so low and would be devious to do this. He knew just how much it meant to Jay but he was willing to hurt his son to get what he wanted. "I just thought you needed to know what kind of family you married into," Voight explained. "I'm guessing Jay knows your history?" Erin nodded, still reeling from what Hank had told her. "But I'm guessing his father doesn't." _

_Erin shook her head. "No." _

_"I just thought you should know to watch your back." Hank squeezed Erin's arms. "Pat Halstead is not to be trusted. If he's willing to do this to his own flesh and blood, just imagine what he'll do when he finds out about your history, Erin." _

_Erin nodded, knowing that Hank was coming from a good place by telling her this. "Thank you," she wanted to leave and get out of there. "Can you do me a favor?"_

_"Anything." Voight shrugged, immediately replying. _

_"Don't….don't tell Jay that he's not going to make detective just yet." _

_Voight looked at her. "What are you going to do Erin?" _

_"I'm going to make my husband's dream come true. Anyway I can."_

* * *

_She didn't bother knocking, immediately storming into Pat Halstead's office. "We need to talk." _

_The older man looked up from his desk, his facial expression not changing. He simply closed his fountain pen and sat back in his chair. "Go ahead." He gestured to the chair, offering Erin a seat. She walked closer to the desk and sat down across from Jay's father. "What do you need to talk about Erin?" _

_"You know why I'm here." Erin could barely look at the man. She knew that Jay wasn't close to his father but for his own father to backstab him like this? It was disgusting. _

_"No, I don't," Pat replied, in a mocking tone. "You're going to have to make things a little bit clearer to me." _

_"You bribed the police department to fail Jay so you could stop him from being a detective," Erin stated. "Even though you knew just how much he wanted to be a detective. How he had been dreaming of this for years." _

_Pat chuckled, not even caring that he had been caught. "Yes, I did." _

_Erin was in disbelief. "How could you do this to him?" she voiced. "You know how much he wanted this."_

_"Yes I did," Pat interrupted her. "Trust me Erin, I know just how much Jay wants to be a detective. Told me since he was nine years old and wouldn't have shut up about it ever since."_

_"Then why?" _

_Pat sat up, crossing his arms on the table and staring down Erin. "The question here should be do you know Erin?"Erin gave him a confused look. "Do you know just how much Jay wants this?" Erin nodded slowly. "Then just what are you willing to give up for it? To make sure that Jay gets what he wants." _

_"What are you getting at?" Erin questioned. Although she already knew where this was going, the old man was cruel but he certainly wasn't original. Now as she sat across him, watching him smirk like he had just got her right where he wanted her, Erin knew just what he was about to say._

_"You love Jay right?" He didn't wait for her reply. "Yeah, I know you're going to claim to love him. I know Jay had deluded himself into believing that he loves you too but Erin, my dear wake up and face reality." The fake sympathetic look on his face made Erin almost vomit. "You and Jay? It's never going to work out. My son, he grew up with a golden spoon in his mouth, you with plastic in yours. He is an well educated man, millions of dollars at his disposal. I can't imagine you passing high school. You are too different. Maybe your looks had distracted Jay enough for a while. Maybe he actually believes that he loves you but you and me? We both know the truth. It's not going to work out between you two." He stood up and walked around the desk until he reached Erin, staring down at her. "He belongs with someone like Fiona. Someone on his level and you my dear, well we can put lipstick on a pig all we want, maybe even dress it up in some fancy dress but underneath all that, she's still a pig." _

_Erin gritted her teeth, her anger growing at being openly insulted by Jay's father. "You want me to leave Jay, don't you?" _

_Pat chuckled. "I guess that middle school education is good for something," he snidely remarked. "I'm just saying why should Jay lose out on both love and his dream?" He sat on the edge of his desk. "If you really love Jay like you claim to, then leave him. Leave him and I'll make a donation to the police department, only this time my money won't come with conditions. Jay could become a detective like he wanted to and you'll be gone from his life like I want you to." He stood up and walked back to his chair. He opened his desk drawer and pulled out a check. "And just so everyone wins, here's a check for $1 million dollars." He handed Erin the check. "A small price to pay to take out the trash." _

_Erin sucked in her tears, not wanting him to see her cry. She wouldn't give him that satisfaction. "Jay would hate you when he finds out." _

_"Then it's a good thing that he won't," Pat shot back. "After all, you won't be around to tell him." He smirked. "Don't you want Jay to have his dream? For him to finally reach his goal? Can you just imagine the look on his face when he gets the call that he failed his detective exam and that he's not going to make Intelligence? He'll try to hide his true feelings and how sad he'll be but we both know how heartbroken he'll be about failing. Maybe he'll even try to take the test again, thinking maybe it'll be this time and he'll pass but of course, I'll just make another donation and another and another, and he'll never get his dream. You really want that for him? Or you want him to be happy?" He waved the check in Erin's face. "Take the offer Erin. Take the money and leave my son alone." _

_Despite not wanting to and trying her hardest not to, a tear fell on her face, Erin quickly wiping it away. "I'll do it." she said, her voice breaking. "I'll leave Jay. So make the call." _

_Pat grinned slyly like he just won. And he did because he just got what he wanted. But it didn't matter to Erin that he was practically gloating in her face, tossing her one smirk after another as he called the Ivory Tower to change the conditions of his donation and to make sure that Jay would get his deserved spot in Intelligence. "Done," he said after he hung up the phone. "Now it's your turn to hold up your end of the bargain. Get the hell out of our lives, Ms. Lindsay." He reached into his drawer again and pulled out a yellow envelope and tossed it to Erin. "Sign the divorce papers and disappear." _

_Erin grabbed the envelope from the desk and stood up, trying not to break down before she got out of the office. She wanted to just fall apart at what she needed to do. She had just broken her own heart and she needed to break Jay's. She didn't know if she'd be able to just walk away and leave him. She loved him. She sniffed back her tears and steeled herself. She loved him and she needed to do this for him. Jay deserved to have his dream come true and even though she didn't want to admit it, his father was right. He did deserve someone better than her. Maybe this was the way it was meant to be all along. _

_"Here, don't forget your money," Pat tossed the check in Erin's face. Erin picked up the check that fell on the ground and she ripped it up and tossed the pieces of torn papers back in his face, taking the older man off guard._

_"Keep your damn money," Erin spat. "You said Jay deserves someone better and you're right. He does deserve someone better than me and he certainly deserves a better father than you because you're a poor excuse for a father." _

_She chuckled condescendingly, tossing Pat a smirk and turned, making her exit. For good. _


	5. Part V

Part V

Pat Halstead resided in a large mansion on Dearborn Street. It boasted five bedrooms— only one of which was used and the rest of the bedrooms remained empty and untouched. Perhaps that had been the reason for many parties that had taken place in the said mansion, an attempt to fill the empty house with people and noises so the overwhelming silence and loneliness that seemed to be the permanent residents there would be less…._whelming. _Of course, the last thing that someone as prideful as Pat would admit to being was lonely. Loneliness was for pedestrians— someone softhearted, weak, pathetic— and that certainly wasn't Patrick Halstead.

As Jay waited in the grand chair in the living room— one of the many indicators of wealth in the large room— there were a million thoughts racing through his head. _How could his father do this? Why was his father such a heartless bastard? How could he convince Erin that despite her noble intentions, this was the last thing he wanted? That he needed? _None of the answers to the questions came to him in the dark so he focused on calming himself down as he waited for his father's return to confront him.

"Just look the proposal over. We can maybe even expand into South America," Jay heard Will's voice along with the click of the door, signaling that his dad wasn't alone. _Oh well. _It didn't matter because Jay wasn't waiting another minute to confront his dad with what he found out. He couldn't wait. The burning heat of anger and hurt were coursing through his body, his hands balled into fists and his breathing shallow at finding out that his father had tried to bribe the Chicago Police Department so Jay wouldn't be able to become a detective. His father knew that it was his dream— Jay could clearly recall the day he had told his father about it when he was nine years old and still had a naive outlook of his dad— and yet his father was schemed to take his dream from him.

_And Jay just knew his dad was why Erin left. _

It didn't take anyone to pass a detective exam to put the pieces together that his father was ultimately responsible for Erin's sudden departure from his life. He knew Erin. Knew of the insecurities in her head. Knew that she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But most importantly, he knew that she loved him. It wasn't just her many declarations since the night they had let themselves be happy together. It was more than words. He felt it. And despite her standoffish demeanor when he had managed to track her down and saw her face to face and despite her coldly telling him that she didn't love him, he knew there was more to the story. He hadn't given up on her...on them.

He heard the voices getting louder, Will and his father making their way into the living room where Jay was waiting. Jay heard them and smelled the whisky emitting from their bodies before he saw them, and finally Pat turned on the lights in the living room.

"Jay!" His father sounded surprised, not expecting to find his younger son waiting in the living room, especially in the dark. "What are you doing here?"

"I just needed to see you in person," Jay replied, sounding devoid of any emotions. "I needed to stand in front of you and look at your face."

His father let out a nervous chuckle. "What are you talking about Jay? You doing okay?" If a stranger was to see and hear the interaction, the stranger would be fooled into thinking that there was nothing but genuine concern coming from Pat. But Jay wasn't a stranger. Nor was he a fool. So he understood fully that the concern was fake, an act his father was putting on. He didn't reply, not yet. Instead Jay held up the paper that he'd been clenching in his hand— evidence of his father's deceit.

"What is this?" Pat scoffed, barely glancing at the papers that were held in front of his face. "What am I supposed to be looking at here?"

"This right here is proof that you are a selfish asshole. A sad excuse for a father."

"Excuse me?!" Pat returned, affronted. "What the hell are you talking about now Jay? What have I supposedly done this time?"

Jay chuckled, shaking his head. "So you're really going to stand here and pretend that you didn't try to bribe Chicago P.D so there'd be no way I'd make detective?" Pat glanced over at Will nervously. "Don't look at Will!" Jay ordered, snapping his dad's attention back on to him. "He already knows."

"I seriously don't have any idea what you're talking about," Pat tried again. "Are you drunk? You seem drunk."

"No!" Jay shouted, turning redder by the second. "I'm not fucking drunk! I'm finally sober! I've been in this haze of confusion for the last month, just trying to figure out why my wife left me and now I finally know." He held his father's eyes, accusations written in them. "It's you."

"Whoa Jay, what are you talking about?" Will interrupted with a question. For all Will knew, their dad was guilty of trying to sabotage Jay becoming a detective but now Jay was accusing his father of being the reason Erin left? Will was left in the dark.

Jay ignored Will's question, keeping his focus on Pat. "I've been running everything in my head over and over again and just trying to find out why Erin left suddenly. I mean, everything was going so well between us and one day, she just left. She was just gone. It didn't make any sense. At least not until I found out about your plan and Sergeant Voight filled me in on the rest."

"Filled you in on what?"

"He told Erin about your little plan and she told him that she was going to stop you. Then suddenly, the five million dollars that came with strings attached? Magically, the strings disappeared. It doesn't take a genius or a detective to figure out the rest." Jay sneered. "Erin came to you didn't she? She tried to convince you to change your mind. And that was your grand plan all along wasn't it? You saw it as an opportunity to get her to leave me, probably told her that she was doing the best thing for me."

"Dad, tell me it's not true," Will begged, unable to believe what Jay was saying. Jay had no illusions about his father, any idealistic notions he had about him having been destroyed by the time Jay was a teenager. But Will was different. Will had been a lot closer to their dad and Jay knew that his older brother still held some misplaced heroic notions when it came to their father. "Tell me you didn't force Erin to leave Jay."

"Of course I didn't!" Pat denied immediately. "I didn't force that tramp to do anything."

"Don't call her that," Jay warned, his voice dangerously low.

Pat chuckled derisively. "Oh stop it with the delusions Jay. She is a tramp. A hooker. I call her like I see it."

"And a Halstead can't be married to someone like that right?" Jay questioned.

"Of course not."

"So the fact that not only did I marry Erin, I fell in love with her, it must have drove you crazy," Jay continued, his questions coming in rapid succession.

"It made me sick!" Pat spat out.

"So you had to do something, anything to get rid of her right?!"

"Of course I did!" Pat finally admitted, falling into Jay's trap. Jay smirked, finally getting the confirmation of something he already knew. It seemed as though once Pat finally admitted it, he couldn't stop talking. "There is no way in hell I was going to stand by and watch you waste your life away with someone like that. Especially for something as useless and pathetic as love!"

"Just because you know no clue about what love is doesn't make it useless."

Pat snorted. "It's a delusion, that's what it is. What has love ever done for anyone? All it does is make people do stupid things, make them think their emotions are more important than they really are. Just look at yourself. You've fooled yourself into thinking that you love this girl and you're willing to throw away your life and everything you worked for, everything _I _worked for. How do you expect to face the rest of society with someone like her as your wife? Don't be stupid Jay."

"What did you say to her to get her to leave?" Jay questioned, ignoring everything his father just spewed out. Jay didn't need any more confirmation that Pat didn't love anyone other than himself so his little speech went in one ear and out the other.

"I told her the truth," Pat replied, not even a hint of remorse in his voice. It was clear to Jay that Pat didn't feel any regrets about doing what he did. The old man was too stubborn and too prideful to admit when he was wrong. "She wasn't good enough for you Jay. You can put lipstick on a pig all you want but at the end of the day she's still a pig."

"Watch your mouth," Jay warned.

Pat laughed, shaking his head like he found the situation funny. "I mean I get why you were confused. Why you've deluded yourself into thinking that you actually loved her. She's a looker that's for sure. Maybe even worth a few rounds in the sack. But you always, _always _kick the bitch out after you're done. You were too weak to do it so I did it for you."

Jay didn't say a word, instead he just approached his father like a lion approaching his prey, slow and deliberate and a menacing look in his eyes. When he came face to face with the object of his fury, Jay smirked to himself when he recognized a hint of uncertainty and fear in his dad's eyes. Through the sides of his eyes, he also saw the same uncertainty look on his brother's face, although no hint of fear was apparent. WIthout thinking and just letting his rage take over, Jay's right hand that was balled into a fist swung up and made contact with Pat's face, his father stumbling back at the sudden physical attack.

"The fuck?!" Will shouted but Jay couldn't really hear. The rage that had been simmering through his veins had exploded and now it was spilling out— pouring out of every pores in Jay's body. Jay moved towards his father again but was immediately pulled back by Will, both of their bodies twisting and writhing. "Calm the fuck down! Jay!"

"I told you to watch your fucking mouth!" Jay yelled, his face turning red with anger. He was still held back by Will, who was exerting all the energy he had to restrain Jay. Pat wiped the blood that trailed down the side of his mouth, looking at Jay like he couldn't believe Jay had hit him.

"You're really going to hit your family over a whore?"

Jay pushed Will off of him, his brother losing his hold on Jay. Jay held up his hand to Will, signaling that he wasn't going to hit their father again. Then he turned to his father. "You're not my family," Jay voiced, looking at his father with pure disdain. "You're not my father. As far as I'm concerned, you're dead to me."

"Stop being dramatic Jay," Pat replied, rolling his eyes, not taking Jay seriously. "You'll forget about her in a month or two. The divorce can go through and this farce of a marriage can finally end. Then maybe you can even marry someone else more on your level, like Fiona if you haven't completely messed things up with the Applegates last night."

Jay couldn't believe his father and how he was continuing to spout things off like everything would just go back to normal. As far as Jay was concerned, this was the last straw needed for him to completely sever ties with his father. There was no redeeming quality, no hope of reconciliation between them. And Jay was done completely.

"Go to hell _Pat!_" Jay spat, shaking his head as he headed for the exit. He needed to get out of there. It was a lost cause between his father and him because at the end of the day, his father would never be able to understand him. His father would never understand something as delicate and precious as love because he never felt it. Pat never loved his wife, he certainly never loved his sons. The only things that Pat loved was power and money and Jay was done wasting time, hoping that his dad would change. He wouldn't.

"Jay," Will called his name, trying to stop him. "Just...let's talk this out." Will grabbed Jay's arm but Jay shook his brother off.

"Jay!" his father shouted. "Don't be stupid son! She's not worth it! This sham of a marriage isn't worth it!"

Jay paused in his tracks, turning back to look at his father. He pressed his lips, a look of pity as he regarded his dad one last time. "This is where you're wrong," he said. "She's worth everything to me. You can have all the money in the world dad but at the end of the day, you'll never have this. You'll never have something as real as this. You'll never have someone that loves you so much that they'll do anything for your happiness even if it means they'll be in pain. All you have is secretaries and interns that you can sleep with because they want to climb up the corporate ladder, people you call friends that are only your friends because they want something from you. All you'll do is come home to this big empty house with no one in it because you're too selfish and self centered to hold on to anyone in your life. And maybe you'll wake up one day in bed alone and regret everything." He chuckled softly to himself, shaking his head. "Then again, maybe you won't. But one fact will remain and that is that you'll be all alone."

Jay didn't need to say anything else so he left the house, walking away from his father for good. '_Goodbye dad'_ he thought to himself as he exited the large mansion and stepped outside, the door slamming shut behind him both metaphorically and literally. He barely made it a couple of steps before he heard his name being called, WIll coming out of the house after him.

"Jay!" His brother ran up to him, face distraught over what had taken place inside. "Wait up." Jay stopped and waited for Will, wondering what his brother had to say and whose side he'd take. "I...I can't believe what happened."

"Well believe it Will," Jay returned, crossing his arms. "You're really that surprised that he's capable of that?"

"No," Will responded, the lie rolling off his tongue. Will sighed then, running his hands through his hair. "I just...I didn't want to believe it, I guess." He placed his hands on Jay's shoulders. "I'm sorry. Mouse mentioned dad being behind everything as a possibility a couple of weeks ago and I brushed it off. I guess I just thought if I didn't acknowledge it as a possibility, it wouldn't be true you know? Because finding out that our father is such an asshole, it's hard."

Jay nodded, understanding where Will was coming from. "I know. I'm sorry man. Trust me, he had us all fooled for a while there because I should've known earlier." Jay clucked his tongue, chiding himself for not putting two and two together earlier or realized sooner that his father was behind Erin leaving. He should've known that his father wouldn't have left things alone, wouldn't just be satisfied with knowing that Jay was happy with Erin and that he loved her. No, Pat always needed to get his way, his own selfish plans always came first.

Will pulled Jay into a brotherly hug, hoping to comfort him. Jay patted Will's back, letting him know that things were cool between them. After all, Will had been just as clueless as Jay had been and he did help Jay hack into their father's account and helped him get the evidence needed to shed the light on Pat's deceitful plan.

"So what are you going to do now?"

Jay shrugged even though he already knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to run straight to Kim's apartment and pull Erin right into his arms and begged her to not let him go ever again. His rage earlier had pulled him straight to his father's house, the need to confront him and putting everything out in the open too desperate to ignore. But now that the cards were on the table and ties had been severed, Jay was kicking himself for not going straight to Erin.

"I need to go find Erin and tell her that I know everything. Tell her I know why she did what she did and that I love her even more and beg her to give our marriage a shot, a _real _shot." He was rambling now, excitement growing by the second as he planned to get Erin back. "I just hope she'll give me a chance."

"She will," Will reassured him, giving him a pat on the arm. "This proves that she loves you Jay and there's nothing standing in your way now. Go get her back."

Jay nodded, his face splitting into a smile. He was about to head to his car and drive straight to where Erin was but his phone rang. He pulled out his phone, frowning when he saw that it was work. He silently hoped that they didn't just catch a case. "Halstead," he spoke into the phone, tilting his head back in frustration when the dreaded words came through the phone.

"What is it?" Will asked as Jay hung up his phone, a scowl on his face.

"I need to go into work. We just caught a case."

* * *

"Here you go," Erin smiled appreciatively and accepted the cup of tea Kim made for her. Kim sat down next to her on the sofa and leaned over to look at what Erin was looking at on her tablet. "Apartment listings?" Kim questioned, frowning. "You're moving out?"

Erin nodded. "Yeah, I can't stay here forever Kim." Erin scrolled the webpage down, eyes scanning the listings to find an apartment that she could actually afford. So far, she was having no such luck, all decent apartment that wasn't in bad parts of town being too far out of her budgets.

"You can stay as long as you like Erin," Kim offered, "It's really not a bother to me. It's kinda nice actually, to have someone here."

Erin smiled, thankful for the offer that Kim was extending. "Thanks Kim," she voiced. "But I'm thinking that maybe sometimes soon, you'll have someone else to come home to." Erin wiggled her brows suggestively, hinting at Kim and Adam moving in together soon. By the way things were going between her friend and Adam, Erin guessed it wouldn't be long until they took things to the next steps. Erin was more than happy for her friend, Adam was great and he treated Kim well. Kim blushed, eyes dropping to the floor, confirming Erin's suspicion.

"Maybe," Kim admitted. "But it's not going to happen for a few months at least. So you have to stay until then." Erin wrinkled her nose, shrugging her shoulders. "Or at least until I talk to my boss about the receptionist job." Kim had told Erin that there was an opening at her new job, a desk receptionist. It was a good position, paid decently, had good hours and good benefits. Erin was a little lacking in the experience department but Kim had urged her to apply anyway, claiming that it was all about connections and networking and Kim had an inside track to get Erin the job. So Erin had listened, knowing that 1. She needed a job and 2. The receptionist position was better than any other jobs she had before. Erin knew she needed to get out of her comfort zone. The nurse dream was out of reach for her now but Erin knew she couldn't go back to the diner. She was willing to do so to help Marty out but Jay had stepped in and taken care of Marty's bills so Erin had another chance now.

"Okay," Erin replied, accepting Kim's more than generous offer. "Thanks."

Kim waved her hands, brushing the thank you off as unnecessary. Erin pulled her friend into a hug anyway, wondering how she got so lucky by finding such a great friend. Their hug was cut short by Kim's phone ringing. Erin scooted back as Kim picked up her phone. Erin turned her attention back to the apartment listings. Even though she'd be staying with Kim for a few more months, eventually she'd need a new place and it was never too soon to just browse.

"Oh my god!" Erin's attention was caught by Kim's panicked voice, her friend jumping off the couch, frantic. "Oh my god," Kim repeated, her hand coming up to cover her face. "Yeah I'll be right there."

"Kim what's wrong?" Erin asked, worried about her friend. "What's going on?"

Kim could barely look at Erin, running around her apartment to look for a coat. Kim found both her and Erin's coat, throwing Erin's coat on her lap. "We need to go," Kim ordered, her voice leaving no room for questions. "That was Adam. There was an accident and Jay's hurt."

* * *

Erin felt outside of her body, like she was weightless. All she knew was that Jay was hurt and she needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. All thoughts of everything that had transpired over the past month flew out the window upon hearing the news. No matter how fast she moved her legs, she felt she couldn't get there fast enough. Adam had been frustratingly unforthcoming on the phone, just commanded them to get to the hospital right away and all Erin could do was follow the order.

The hospital corridors felt never ending as her feet ran down the long hallways. Finally she reached the nurses' desk and somehow managed to get the necessary information out. "I'm Erin Lindsay," she practically shouted at the nurse, patting her chest to identify herself. "My husband, Jay Halstead, he's been brought in."

"Erin!" She heard her name being called and turned to find Hank a few feet away from her, a heavy look on his face. She ran up to him, grabbing his arms roughly.

"Where is he?" She was frantic, almost shaking the older man's shoulders to find out where Jay was. "I need to see him."

Voight steadied himself and placed his hands on her arms to calm her down. "They've already taken him for surgery."

"Wha…" She couldn't process the information, leaning her head to search for Jay as if he was behind Voight, just waiting for her. But the only people present were his unit members, all with sullen expressions on their faces. Adam saw Erin and Kim arriving and he walked up to join them.

"What happened?" Kim questioned, her eyes scanning her boyfriend to make sure he was okay. Aside from being covered in what looked like dust from rubbles and a few scratches on his face, Adam seemed relatively fine. "Are you okay?"

Adam nodded, reassuring them that he was fine. He gulped, turning his attention to Erin. "Jay, we walked into an ambush and this guy blew up a building." Erin gasped, her heart beating so loud against her chest that she could barely hear Adam. "We all got out before the building came down but Halstead….he heard a girl screaming so he went back in and…" Adam paused, having a difficult time relaying what happened. Erin wanted to shake Adam. She needed to hear what happened and she needed Adam to continue.

Voight noticed Adam's distress so he stepped in to fill out the rest of the picture for Erin. "Halstead managed to get the girl over to a firefighter in time but he got trapped when the building collapsed on him." Erin stumbled back, needing something to lean on. Otherwise she was going to fall right there. Kim was right there to catch her, holding her up. "It took us an hour before we found out his location and dig him out."

"Is he…" she couldn't complete the question. She wasn't ready to hear Jay's prognosis. She thought it was the hardest thing she'd ever done to walk away from him but that was a cakewalk to this. At least then she knew that he was alive and healthy. But this? Jay hanging between life and death? This was her worst nightmare coming true. "Tell me he's going to be alright."

Voight was unable to give her a concrete answer. "The medics said his head got hurt pretty bad and his lungs collapsed. He was in and out of consciousness in the ambulance. They're going to do everything they can Erin," he said instead. "Jay is young, he's strong and he'll pull through." The words were meant to comfort Erin and soother her worries but they were rendered ineffective, her worry too much for the words to overcome.

The group heard loud footsteps running down the hospital corridors and Erin turned to the source of noise and saw Will and Mouse, both breathless.

"Erin!" Will shouted, pulling her into his arms. "What happened? Where's Jay?"

"He's in surgery right now. He got trapped inside a collapsed building and he hit his head," Erin relayed to Will everything she knew, which wasn't much to begin with. "I don't know anything else. I don't know if he's okay." Will exhaled, tugging at his hair, worried sick about his brother. "Will," she called his name, trembling. He pulled her into a hug, both of them needing the comfort over the person they loved the most being hurt.

"Jay's strong," Mouse said, almost as if he was trying to convince himself. "He'll pull through. He has to." Erin nodded, placing a hand on Mouse's arms.

"You're right," she replied, trying to remind herself that Jay was strong, he was resilient and no matter what he would make it through this. _He has to_.

* * *

The wait was torture. Erin felt the blank white walls of the waiting room closing in on her. The hours ticked by slowly, strangers passed through the room every so often and they were still waiting to hear something, _anything_ about Jay's conditions. Every so often a nurse would come out and give half updates that weren't really informative— just Jay was still in surgery.

The strange feeling came back again, Erin feeling like she was once again floating. Like she was out of her own body, just an observer from outside looking in on this nightmare. There were quiet conversations happening around her, Jay's team members still waiting alongside her. Kim had tried to get Erin's attention a couple of times and had tried to get Erin to take a break from sitting in that uncomfortable chair but Erin didn't budge. How could she leave when she didn't know how Jay was doing? She couldn't.

It wasn't until she felt herself being nudged that she realized that Will had been trying to get her attention for a while now.

"Huh?" her voice was rough and all crackly, from not having used it in hours. Will just passed her a tissue, gesturing to her eyes. She didn't even realize that she was crying until she brought her hands up and felt the wetness that had gathered underneath her eyes. She grabbed the tissue from Will and dabbed at her eyes. The act of trying to dry her tears had somehow broken the dam and soon enough the quiet tears had turned into loud heart wrenching cry, her chest wreaking with every sobs.

All the worry she was feeling, all the regrets she had over what happened between them and all the pain of not knowing Jay was okay had culminated into her having an emotional breakdown in the hospital. Even Will's attempt to calm her down and console her hadn't worked.

"He doesn't know," she sputtered between sobs, her body shuddering from the outburst of emotions. "He doesn't even know that I love him. That I didn't want to leave him. I love him so much."

"He knows," Will asserted, reaching over the side table to get Erin another tissue and handed it over to her. "He knows Erin."

The words did little to stop her tears, neither did the tissue. "I didn't want to leave him. I thought I was doing the right thing. That I was doing it for his own good." Once she started her confession, she was unable to stop. "He's in there thinking that I don't love him. If he….if he doesn't make it, it'll be with him thinking that I don't love him when it's the opposite. I love him."

"Erin," Will called her name sternly, trying to get her attention. "_He knows!"_ Will stressed each word. "He knows everything."

"What?"

"He found out the truth and he confronted our dad tonight. He knows that our father was behind everything and that you left so Jay could become a detective. Jay knows that everything you did, it was because you love him."

"How?" Erin was lost on how Jay found out and she wanted to know what happened after he confronted his dad. "Jay knows?"

Will nodded. "Yeah, he was pissed to say the least," Will said, a small chuckle coming out of him. "He punched our dad." Erin looked shocked at the revelation. "Not that the old man didn't deserve it. Hell, I wanted to punch him myself."

"I can't believe it," she uttered. "Jay knows? Everything?"

"Yeah, we found out about dad's donation and Voight filled in on what the donation was for and Jay put the rest together. He knows that you wanted the divorce because dad gave you an ultimatum and that you did it because you wanted Jay to become a detective."

Erin sniffled, wiping away the rest of the tears from her eyes. "He must've been mad at me."

Will chuckled, shaking his head. "I don't think Jay could ever be mad at you. Not really anyways. I think he was just relieved and happy to finally know the truth. He hadn't been doing well and I think not knowing the reason why you left was slowly killing him. I don't think for a second he thought it was because you didn't love him. He had faith in you." Will sighed. "He um...he was about to come see you when he got the call to go into work."

Erin didn't know it was possible for her heart to break even more but the revelation that Jay was about to come see her before the accident took place cracked her already broken heart even more. The new information that she had just received about Jay finding out about everything was too much to process on top of everything. She knew she had hurt Jay really badly when she suddenly took off with no explanation. She could try to justify her actions— try to reason it away as doing it for Jay's own good— but the fact remained that no matter why she did it, it didn't lessen Jay's pain. That no matter how horrible she felt, no matter how painful for her, Jay felt it a lot worse. Because he was the one left behind, he was the one left in the dark.

But according to Will, he wasn't anymore. Jay found out everything and had confronted his dad over it. Erin didn't know how to feel about that. There was a part of her — a huge part if she was being honest— that Jay knew the truth now because keeping the secret was killing her, it weighed down on her everyday and in everything she did. But there was another part of her that wished he hadn't because she didn't want to be the reason why his relationship with his father worsened. There had been a part of her that had been worried as she sat in the uncomfortable waiting room of Pat Halstead coming to the hospital and kicking her out by claiming that she was no longer Jay's wife and had no right to be there. But he hadn't shown up and she now knew why.

"I didn't mean to get in between Jay and your dad," Erin told Will. Will shifted in his seat so his body was turned to Erin.

"Hey, you didn't. Dad did that all on his own. He was the one who was willing to hurt his own son to get what he wanted. It's not your fault. This is all on dad."

"Still, he's the only parent you guys have left."

Will shook his head. "I don't think Jay had a dad for a long time now," he said, finally admitting to himself that despite all of his efforts and attempts to fix the broken relationship between Jay and their father, it was a hopeless cause. "Whatever relationship that was left between them was gone the day our mother died." It was painful to admit to himself but it was the truth.

Erin gently squeezed Will's arms and gave him a small smile. Will tried his best to return the gesture and they resumed waiting, two worried hearts sat side by side in the hospital waiting room.

* * *

"Family of Jay Halstead?" The surgeon finally came out after the hours long surgery. Everyone that was waiting immediately stood up, all circling the doctor to get the news about Jay's condition. "Um, you're all family?" the doctor questioned, taken aback by the large group.

"I'm his brother," Will spoke out. "And this is his wife," he added, pulling Erin to his side. Erin wasn't sure if she was still Jay's wife, thinking that Jay had already filed the divorce papers that she signed by now. Jay had been willing to divorce her months ago before she admitted her feelings to him because he thought that it was what she had wanted so she was pretty sure that Jay had already signed and filed the divorce papers that Pat had given her and made her sign because Jay thought that was what she wanted. But still, she was grateful to Will for claiming her as Jay's wife to the doctor because she was going to flip if she couldn't hear straight from the doctor that Jay was fine.

"Okay. Jay had sustained serious head injury from being essentially buried alive in the building. He had brain swelling, a couple of serious lacerations around his head, not to mention collapsed lungs. We've managed to control the swelling in the brain and he underwent surgery to get the excess air from his lungs removed."

"So he's going to be okay right?" Erin questioned, needing actual confirmation that Jay would be alright.

"He managed to make it through all the surgery and procedures so we're hopeful. He still hasn't woken up yet."

"But he will right?"

"Like I said, we're hopeful," the doctor replied, not really giving confirmation one way or the other. "It's a waiting game at this point. Brain injury can be fickle and the way each person responds to them can vary. I've done everything I can at this point to give Jay his best fighting chance. Everything else is up to him. He will be transferred into ICU where we can keep a close eyes on him."

"Can we see him?"

"In a little bit. A nurse will come and get you when he's ready." The doctor gave them one last smile and left.

* * *

Erin slowly entered the hospital room as if she didn't want to disturb Jay. Maybe if she continued to pretend that Jay was just peacefully sleeping instead of not having woken up yet from the injury, it wouldn't hurt so much. She approached the bed step by step until she was right next to it and she was able to see the rhythmic up and down motion of Jay's chest for herself. She needed to see for herself that he was still alive, that Jay was still breathing. She bent down to place a kiss on his temple, softly brushing away his hair from his forehead.

She took the seat next to the bed and lifted his resting hand, bringing it to her mouth so she could lay a kiss on it. She closed her eyes, letting the warm flesh of his hands help ease the tightness in her chest.

"Hey babe," she began speaking into his skin, her lips still pressed to his hand. She had a lot to get off her chest and she didn't know whether he could hear her or not in his state but she needed to voice her thoughts anyway. She just hoped it would somehow reach his ears and bring him back to her. "I'm sorry," she started with an apology, first of many that she owed him. "I'm sorry for hurting you. For making you think for even a second that I don't love you. For walking out on you." She sighed, lacing his fingers with hers and squeezing them tight in her hold. "I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. You've told me that it was your dream to be a detective and that was a dream you've had for the longest time and I just couldn't stand by and do nothing when it was about to be taken away from you."

It was like the steady beepings of the machines around her were there to tell her that he was listening, that despite him not being conscious he was still there and he could hear her.

"It's no excuse though for hurting you," she continued, letting the steady sounds urge her on. "I know I did. You didn't deserve that. You deserve the best of everything Jay because you're the best person I know. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I just….I just wanted you to get everything you want. I never really knew what love was growing up. The best example I had made it seem like love was selfish, it was used as a weapon to manipulate and control the person you supposedly loved. It wasn't until I fell in love with you that I learned what love really was. That it could be selfless, that it was scary to give your heart someone completely but in the most exhilarating way because I knew I could trust you to take care of it." She licked her lips, feeling her voice cracking and needing a moment before continuing on. "I'm sorry that I didn't take care of your heart better. Because you treated me and my heart like they were something to be treasured and I never had that before until you. I'm going to be selfish one more time and ask you to do this for me. Please come back to me Jay. Fight as hard as you can so you can come back to me because I can't lose you." She wiped away the tears that started to trail down her face. "Give me another chance to prove to you that I can take care of your heart the way it deserves. The way you deserve." She stood up so she can kiss his cheek. "Come back to me," she whispered, closing her eyes and letting herself just be in the moment for a minute, close to him.

* * *

She was on her way back to Jay's room, carrying two cups of coffee in her hands. After getting the much needed alone time with Jay, she had returned the favor and left Will alone with Jay, knowing that his brother needed the time too and that she wasn't the only one that loved Jay. So she had excused herself and decided that it was a good time to go down to the cafeteria to get some coffee for her and Will, knowing that the two of them weren't leaving the hospital any time soon.

She arrived back at Jay's room but she stopped at the door before going in so she can gauge if Will needed more time before she interrupted him. Will was still talking softly to Jay's still unconscious form so she decided to give Will more time. She was about to leave and take a seat in one of the nearby chairs when she heard the voice she was hoping to never hear again.

"What are you doing here?" She felt herself stilled as the unmistakable voice of Pat Halstead barked from down the corridor, already having spotted Erin. The older man stalked down the corridor quickly until he was in front of Erin, sneering in her face. "What right do you have to be here?" Pat questioned, obviously unhappy at finding Erin by Jay's side.

Erin sucked in a breath. She wouldn't let Pat intimidate her, not anymore. "I'm not leaving Jay's side," she declared, standing up to Pat. "There's no way in hell I'm leaving his side." She tried to keep her voice calm, not wanting to make a scene in the hospital.

"You're not family," Pat shouted, not caring about making a scene. "You're no longer his wife. The divorce papers have been signed and filed so you don't have any rights to be here. So go back to wherever you came from and leave my family alone."

"I'm not going anywhere," Erin said again, not backing down.

"Don't push me Erin," Pat threatened. "Don't do something you're going to regret. I'm a scary man when I want to be and when I don't get what I want."

Erin scoffed, letting Pat's threats roll off her back. "What are you going to do to me Pat? You have nothing I want. Nothing to hold over me. The only thing I want is for Jay to wake up and be alright and unless you somehow became God and gained the power to bring people in coma out of them, your threats are useless."

Pat smirked, as if Erin had just challenged him to be as despicable as he could be. "You're going to regret those words you tramp!" His anger growing at being defied by someone he considered beneath him.

"What the hell is going on here?" Will came out of Jay's room, interrupting Pat and Erin's showdown. "Dad, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see my son of course. What the fuck do you think I'm doing here?"

"Dad," Will sighed, stepping out of Jay's room completely and approaching them. "You know Jay wouldn't want you here so you should go."

"As far as I know that boy can't even say his own name right now so I don't really care what he wants or doesn't want. I'm his damn father and I have all the rights to be here." Pat turned his attention onto Erin. "She's the one that doesn't have any rights to be here. So why don't you tell that whore to leave?" Erin fumed at being insulted, taking a step to confront Pat. Really, if he insulted her one more time Erin was ready to punch him, her hand already clenching into a tight fist.

Will stepped up to his father before Erin could. "She's Jay's wife! She has all the right to be here. Even if she didn't, she's the one Jay wants. You're not. You know Jay wouldn't want you here so please dad, just go. The last thing we need is Jay waking up to this."

Pat curled his lips, an ugly sneer taking over his face. "This isn't over Will." Pat warned before walking away. Will released a sigh of relief, managing to get his father to leave before he made a bigger scene.

"Will, do you think he's going to do something?" Erin asked worriedly. Despite not wanting to show Pat that he could get to her, she was still worried of what Pat was capable of. While she didn't think that he would do anything to harm Jay physically, Pat wasn't above getting low to get what he wanted. And what he wanted was to get Erin out of Jay's life. "What if Jay filed the divorce papers already? If he did then your dad would be right. I'd have no rights to be here. ICU is family only. Did Jay tell you something about filing the papers already?"

Will shook his head, not knowing whether Jay did file the papers or not. He wouldn't put it past his brother though. It was something Jay would do if he thought that he was doing it for Erin's sake and that he was giving Erin what she wanted. But now was not the time to voice his thoughts. Especially when Erin looked distraught at the possibility of being kicked out of Jay's side. "Hey, it'll be fine," he said, knowing Erin needed reassurance right now. "Our father won't be able to do anything." Erin nodded, although she didn't look completely convinced. "I'm going to run to Jay's place for a minute, get him some of his stuff."

"Okay," Erin nodded, understanding Will's unspoken request to stay by Jay's side. She didn't need Will to even ask. There was no way she was leaving Jay's side, not until Jay woke up and told her to go.

* * *

She wasn't sure if Jay could even hear half of what she was saying but it didn't stop her from rambling on about any and every topic she could think of. She just thought if she just continued to talk, she could almost pretend they were back in Jay's penthouse, in bed, and just having one of their usual conversations.

"Spring training is starting soon. I know you're a White Sox fan," she scrunched her nose at that. "It's okay, no one's perfect. We'll just consider your bad taste in baseball team your one flaw," she teased. She could almost hear how Jay would respond to her remarks about his favorite baseball team. He'd claim how White Sox were better because they've won more games recently than her favorite team, the Cubs. She'd defend her team by saying that Cubs were far more popular in the Windy City than his. It would be almost normal. But no reply came, only the continued steady beeping from the machines that were keeping track of his vitals came. She held onto his hand, needing the connection between them, as her one-sided conversation trailed off. Her hand reached up to caressed his face softly, Jay remaining as still as ever. "Please wake up soon," she begged again, her thousandth time of asking him to wake up with no reply.

"Hey," Will returned, carrying a duffle bag in his hand. Erin just tilted her head in reply. "Erin, I have to show you something." Will gestured his head to outside of the room. Erin stood up and placed a kiss on Jay's forehead before following Will out.

"What's up? What's going on?" Will just held up an envelope, handing it over to Erin. Erin's brows furrowed as she grabbed the envelope from Will, recognizing the content immediately as she pulled the papers out. "These are the divorce papers your dad had me signed."

Will nodded. "I found it when I was getting Jay's things," Will explained. "It was tucked into one of his drawers." Erin immediately turned to the last page, searching for the signature but finding it only half signed— by her.

"He hasn't signed it yet," she voiced out loud, relief filling in her chest that Jay hadn't signed the papers, making them still married.

"No, he hasn't," Will replied. "I told you he never lost faith in you guys." Erin's eyes glistened with tears at that, finding out that Jay was holding out hope that they'd eventually be together again. "I also found something else." She looked up and she gasped softly at seeing Will holding out a jewelry box— a small velvet box that was the perfect size to hold a ring inside it. "He has shown it to me before, told me that he was going to propose for real this time. I wasn't sure if I should even show this to you, Jay wanted it to be a surprise. But I guess I just thought you needed to see it, to see just how much my brother loves you, _still _loves you." Erin held the box in her hand, not opening it. She didn't want to see how the ring looked like, not yet. Not until Jay was the one who was holding up the box in his hands and her seeing the ring for the first time. But seeing the box itself was enough. Knowing that Jay was planning to propose to her before everything had gotten messed up, it was enough. "So just keep fighting for him."

Erin nodded. She'd never give up on Jay.

Their little moment was broken up by screeching sounds coming from the machine inside of Jay's room, both of them startled at the sudden noise. Before they could run inside, the team of nurses and doctors came running, one of the nurses ordering both of them to stay outside while they worked on Jay.

There was nothing either of them could do except follow the nurse's order so they just glued their faces onto the glass door, trying to find out what was going on inside. Erin saw the nurses working on pressing the machine that was helping Jay breathe, the doctor giving orders that Erin couldn't really hear. It was a harrowing scene, being left in the dark and not knowing if Jay was okay or not. She felt Will pull her away from the door, sitting her down in a chair. She knew he was saying something reassuring to her but she couldn't make out the words, the anxiety in her head too loud and overwhelming to hear what Will was trying to tell her.

Finally after what felt like ages, the doctor came up, both Erin and Will standing up to find out what happened.

"Jay's showing signs of regaining consciousness," the doctor said, Erin's hope growing at the latest development. "The ventilator was working against him starting to breath on his own so we took him off of it. His breathing is strong, everything looks good."

"He's waking up?" Erin asked, hope filling her voice.

The doctor nodded. "He's starting to." He moved out of the way so Erin could return to Jay's side, clenching his hand and waited with hopeful look on her face for Jay to wake up.

* * *

It would take just a couple of hours before Erin's wish would come true. She was still clenching Jay's hand as if it was her lifeline and she waited patiently for Jay to wake up. Slowly but surely Jay began to wake, regaining a little bit of movement in his hands before his eyes opened, fluttering rapidly to adjust to the light after having been closed so long.

"Jay?" There was no way she was able to contain the hope, the excitement, the happiness in her voice as she stood up to get closer to Jay as he regained consciousness, eyes scanning around the room until they landed on her. She held his eyes with her own hazel eyes, except hers were glistening with tears at finally being able to look into his piercing blue eyes. "You're awake." Will stepped out to give them some alone time and to get the doctor and inform him about the change in his brother's condition.

"I'm dreaming," Jay said, his voice rough and cracking from not having been used for some time. Erin held his face in her hand and smiled, shaking her head softly. "I am," Jay continued, "Because you're here."

"I'm here baby. I'm here," she repeated over and over again, wanting to reassure him that she was here and she wasn't going anywhere.

Jay shook his head slowly, like he didn't believe her. "No I'm dreaming," Jay voiced again. "It's okay though. Just let me dream longer because I get to see you."

Erin's heart hurt at his request, Jay sounding so sure that the only way he'd be able to see her was in his dreams. Tears that had been gathering in her eyes began to spill out at his words, landing on her hand and a few drops landing on his face. She immediately wiped the tears away with her hand, Jay bringing his own hands up as best he could and holding her hand that was on his face in place. It was like somehow the fact that he was touching her showed him that she was actually real, not just a figment of his imagination— something his dreams conjured up.

"It's me," Erin said again, placing her other hand over his own that was still holding hers. "I'm real. You're not dreaming." She leaned into his touch, wanting to make it even more clear that he wasn't dreaming. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it until her lips turned white. "You're okay baby. You're going to be okay."

The cloud of confusion in Jay's eyes slowly subsided as he took in more of his surrounding, finally recognizing that he was in the hospital. "What happened?" he asked.

"You were in an explosion. You saved a little girl Jay but you got hurt," Erin explained, brushing his hair softly. Jay blinked a couple of times, trying to recall what happened. He vaguely recalled bits and pieces. He remembered going inside the building, remembered hearing Voight's barks telling them to get the hell out of the building over the radio, he remembered almost reaching the exit but stopping when he heard the cries of a girl, he remembered handing the girl off to a firefighter and he remembered his team shouting his name before everything went black. He squeezed his eyes shut, not being able to recall what happened afterwards. "Hey," Erin called his name softly, still brushing his hair softly. "Don't push yourself. You're okay that's all that matters."

He opened his eyes and looked at her, taking in all of her. He kept on gazing at her like he couldn't believe that she was really here. The last thing they had talked, she told him that she didn't love him and despite Jay knowing that she was lying, it still hurt. But here she was, by his side, looking at him with nothing but love and relief in her eyes, her hands tenderly running their fingers on his face. "Erin," he breathed out her name, "you're really here," he voiced again, almost in awe. She just got even closer than she already was and kissed his forehead, Jay's eyes closing.

With the act of affection from Erin, his own memories of what happened prior to the accident came back to him. How he found out the truth of why she really left, how his father had been behind it and how he had confronted his father, everything came rushing back to him.

"I'm sorry," he said. Erin pulling away to look at him confused at why he was the one apologizing. "I'm sorry for what my father did."

Erin shook her head, brushing his apology off. "It's not your fault Jay. There's no need for you to apologize. I'm the one that should be sorry." She laced their fingers together. "I'm sorry Jay. I'm sorry for leaving you without an explanation. I'm sorry for telling you that I didn't love you when that's the furthest thing from the truth. I love you so much," she cried.

"I love you too," Jay replied, bringing their intertwined hands so he could kiss it. "I understand why you did what you did."

"I hurt you really badly."

"Yeah, you did" Jay said, deciding there was no point in lying. They'd had enough of beating around the bush and had enough lies already.

"I'm sorry," Erin apologized again, not knowing what to say or what to do to make it up to him but desperately wanting to.

Jay nodded, knowing that her apology was genuine. He didn't blame her nor was he mad at her. He was being honest when he said he understood her reasonings. She had done what she thought was best for him, he couldn't fault her for that. He knew he'd do everything he could to make her happy too. "I know you are Erin. Do me one thing?"

"Anything," she replied immediately, not even hesitating in her answer.

He squeezed his hand on her as best he could, his body still weak but it was enough for her to give him her full attention, her eyes holding his gaze as she waited.

"Don't let me go," he whispered. "Don't let me go again."

"Jay."

"There's nothing in this world that makes me happier than you," Jay continued, his voice still rough sounding but there was this underlying strength to it that showed he completely meant everything he said. "Not Intelligence, not me becoming a detective. Nothing. I just need you."

Erin nodded, her free hand that wasn't holding his coming up to caress his face, her eyes still on his, telling him that she understood. "I just want you to be happy."

He smiled, tugging her at best he could, Erin easily complying so their faces were just inches from each other. "Then don't let me go," he voiced again. "Ever."

"Never," she whispered before she closed the gap and kissed him properly like they both could only dreamt about for the past month.

* * *

Erin felt herself nodding off, her head tilting back on the chair before snapping back awake. She groaned softly to herself, not wanting to wake Jay up, and she stretched the best she could in the chair. Jay was asleep in bed and Will was doing the same sitting in the chair across from hers. The visiting hours were long over but there was no way neither she or Will were leaving so Will had somehow managed to pull some strings and got them a free pass to stay long past the visiting hours. Erin had suspected Natalie having something to do with them being able to stay, spotting the doctor hanging around Will throughout the day. Erin was happy for Will, knowing how much he liked the doctor and getting a second chance with her.

She turned her attention back to Jay, a small smile taking over her face at seeing him sleeping. The doctor had been hopeful about Jay making a full recovery and while she and Jay had been scolded by the doctor at being caught kissing when he came to check up on Jay, the kiss had been worth it. She yawned and she twisted in her chair to find a more comfortable position to fall back asleep. Jay had been adamant about wanting Erin to go back to his penthouse and get a good night sleep but Erin had been just as stubborn, not wanting to leave Jay's side. Of course she had won out and she remained by his bedside, the uncomfortable chair acting as her bed for the night.

She closed her eyes and was almost about to drift off back to sleep when the machine that was hooked up to Jay to monitor his vitals started screeching again, startling her back awake. Will was just as shocked at she was at the sudden noise, eyes frantically searching for what was wrong. Erin stood up and ran out the door, calling for help and the medical staff that were on duty came rushing in, both her and Will being kicked out again.

She paced back and forth in the hallway, going out of her mind at what was going on. She had thought Jay was doing well, having woken up but obviously something else was wrong. Why else would the machines started beeping like crazy? There were no answers, no indications that Jay was okay or how it had been a false alarm as Erin waited. The privacy screen on the glass door had been used so there was no way she could see inside and before long, she and Will were not only being kicked out of Jay's room but out of the ICU altogether, both of them having to settle for waiting in the general waiting room.

Hours passed by before the doctor came out again, tilting Erin's world on its side again with his news. Jay had relapsed unexpectedly and the best course of action that the doctor decided on was Jay being put under a medically induced coma. There was no guarantee that Jay would recover or that he would come out of the coma. There was no treatment or procedure that could magically fix the fickle brain when it got injured. There was nothing any of them could do except wait. For how long? No one knew.

* * *

It had been a long while since Erin had last taken refuge in a place like this. She wasn't even that big of a believer in the big guy in the first place. If God really existed, then why was there pain and suffering in the world? Why did she grow up hungry and scared with a deadbeat father and an absentee mother if God existed?

But somehow she found herself in the small chapel inside the hospital, almost as if her legs acted on their own and brought her here. She sat down in one of the pews in the small chapel and she did what she hadn't done since she was 13 and still believed in higher power. She prayed.

"Just let Jay be alright," she begged, hoping with every ounce of faith she had in her body that her prayers were being heard. "It's not fair. It's not fair that he did something amazing and heroic and he's paying the price for it. I thought you were supposed to reward someone for doing a good deed? What deed is better than saving the life of a little girl? Because Jay did that." She took a shuddering breath before continuing on. "If anyone deserves to live it's Jay. He's an amazing guy. The best person I know. He's kind, compassionate, even though he's aleady been through a lot in his life, there's still this light to him. I need him God. I've never asked for much but I'm begging you for this. Just please let Jay make it through this. Please send him back to me. I promise I will cherish him and love him like he deserved to be loved for the rest of my life. Please."

* * *

The answer to her prayer would come but not with a sacrifice on her part.

"Dad," Will's voice knocked Erin's out of the small sleep she was getting. She turned and saw Pat Halstead standing in the doorway, not entering. It was the first time Erin had seen this almost unsure look on the elder Halstead's face, like he wasn't certain if he should be there. "What are you doing here?"

Pat kept his eyes on Jay's still form, still in the induced coma. There had been little progress with Jay's prognosis, the doctor unable to do anything but just wait it out until Jay's brain began to recover on its own. How long it would actually take was anyone's guess. Erin was a mess, both literally and figuratively. She hadn't been away from Jay's side in days, the eye bags under her eyes growing dark by day but that was nothing compared to the turmoil she was feeling inside. She was doing her best to stay optimistic, not lose hope, that Jay would recover, that he would be just fine. But as days turned to nights and nights turned to days, it was getting harder. She wouldn't give up though, she owed Jay to keep faith. She had to keep believing that Jay was fighting his way back to her and all she needed to do was wait.

"I….I heard about Jay," Pat said, sounding nervous. It was a strange look on Pat, the almost scared look on his face but Erin couldn't blame him. After all, it was his son. Despite the tumultuous relationship Jay had with his father, there was love deep down too. "How's he doing?"

Will shook his head. "The same. Not much progress."

"The doctor can't do anything else?" Will shook his head. "Useless doctors," Pat muttered under his breaths. He glanced around the room before his eyes landing on Erin. "Will, would you give me and Erin a minute?" Will looked hesitant, wondering what his father had planned now. "Just a minute."

Will looked to Erin to see if he should leave. Erin just nodded, just wanting to get whatever Pat had planned on saying to her over as quick as possible. Will stood up and slowly walked out of the room, reluctantly. Erin arched her eyebrows as she was left alone with Pat, wondering what the man has to say to her now.

"I've always been accustomed to getting everything I want," Pat began, Erin almost rolling her eyes at the same words she had heard from him countless times. "When you grow up with money and power, you find that people are willing to do anything to get on your good side, to gain favor. Material things like cars, houses, they're easy to get. I just have to snap my fingers and that's it."

"Must be nice."

Pat chuckled. "Very." His face turned serious as he continued on. "But this? Seeing your child in this state and unable to do anything about it? It's a sobering feeling." Erin was surprised by the rare confession of modesty from someone as prideful as Pat. "It's no fun feeling helpless. Like there's nothing I can do to help my son."

"It's a shitty feeling," Erin added, agreeing with Pat.

"I've been reaching out to my contacts, just trying to find some sort of miracle that can help Jay. And I think I found one."

Erin tried not to get her hopes up, not until she had heard everything Pat had to say. "What is it?"

"A contact of mine, a business partner from the old day has been funding this group of researchers for patients that are similar position to Jay's. Patients that have been suffered traumatic brain injuries. A new type of treatment plan that is very promising. They have gotten very good results from the patients that have undergone the treatment."

"That's great," Erin gasped out. "Can it help Jay?"

"I've been speaking with the lead researcher for the past couple of days, filling in on Jay's condition and he sounded very optimistic. Think Jay would make a good candidate to receive the treatment." Erin couldn't stop from getting her hopes up. The news of this promising treatment plan was the glimpse of light she needed through these dark days. "But there is this one thing." Erin faltered, wondering what the strings attached would be to get Jay the treatment he needed would be.

"What is it?"

"The treatment is in Switzerland and the process takes six months. We can arrange everything and get him in Switzerland by tomorrow." Pat crossed his arms and looked at Erin. "You're his wife so you're considered his next of kin. The decision is up to you. Can you let Jay go to save his life?"

* * *

In the end, it had been an easy decision for Erin to make.

"Hey," she whispered softly to Jay. "I know you've asked me not to let you go but I'm sorry Jay. If I have to choose between saving your life and breaking my promise or the alternative, I'm always going to choose saving your life first." She studied his sleeping face, like she was trying to remember every freckles, every inch of his face into her memories. "I love you Jay. You'll be alright. That's all that matters in the end." She bent down to kiss his face, lingering for a minute longer to take in the moment. "Goodbye Jay."

* * *

_Three years later_

Erin's feet were killing her. She had been on her feet for ten hours straight and her back was hurting and her already swollen feet were getting bigger by the minute. If she didn't love her job so much, she would have left a while ago, having a good excuse to actually do so.

"Erin, the patient in room 5 needs attending to," the attending doctor informed her, Erin nodding. Erin headed down the hallway until she reached Room 5 in the Emergency Department. She knocked on the door before entering, giving the patient inside notice before she entered.

"Hi, I'm Erin and I'll be the nurse that will be attending to you," she said, not looking up from putting on a pair of gloves, already having repeated the same greeting for the umpteenth time today. After getting the gloves on, she finally looked up, her eyes widening when she finally saw who the patient was.

"Jay!" she gasped, finding the detective sitting on the bed, a smile on his face when she finally noticed him. "What are you doing here?" The worry was palpable on her face as she got closer to him, scanning his body up and down to see where he was hurt and what had happened for him to be in the Emergency Department. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Jay reached out to hold her, calming her down. "I'm alright babe." He reassured her, still holding her in his grasp.

She narrowed her eyes, not believing him. "Then what is that gash on your face?" she asked, her eyes finally spotting the small gash on his upper cheeks right underneath his eyes. The wound was small but there was a little bit of blood coming out of it. She broke his hold on her to grab a cotton pad and gently patted it on his face, her face frowning with worry at seeing him injured. "What happened?" she asked as she worked to clean his wound.

"A little accident," Jay replied coolly. "Just workplace hazards."

She looked at him sternly, not appreciating the casualness of him talking about getting injured on his job. She placed butterfly stitches on the small cut, Jay wincing a bit at the action. After she was done, she took off her gloves and threw it in the trash, her hands automatically returning to his face to hold it. She tilted his head back and forth to look for any more cuts and wounds, relief filling her chest when the rest of his handsome face remained unmarred. She gave a satisfied hum after she finished inspecting him.

"See? I told you I'm fine." Jay grinned. "Now can your husband have a kiss?" She rolled her eyes fondly before she met his puckered lips, already waiting for her. "Mmm," he hummed happily after getting a kiss. "Best medicine ever." She rolled her eyes again at his remark before her face turned serious.

"You're really okay though right?" she questioned, placing her hands on his chest. Jay held her hand and brought it up to kiss it.

"I'm okay babe. I promise. Just this small cut. Voight practically ordered me to get checked out and I couldn't really resist, knowing I'd get to see you so.." he trailed off, shrugging. She nodded, giving him a smile before kissing him again. She knew that Jay's job was dangerous. He faced the worst criminals that Chicago had to offer and risked his life every day. But she also knew just how much he loved his job as a detective in Intelligence and that he was more than capable of taking care of himself and keeping himself safe. Besides, she also trusted Antonio, he was a great partner and she knew she could count on him to watch Jay's back. But the fact remained that she almost lost him once and even though it had been years since the accident, the memories of almost losing him completely were still fresh in her mind, especially now.

Jay seemed to understand what she was thinking so he laced their fingers together. "You know I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure I come home to you every night right? I made that vow to you years ago and I'm never going back on it."

* * *

_Six months after the accident_

_Erin juggled the small stack of books on her arms, trying to stuff them back into her backpack as she exited the school. Just a year left of the fast paced program and she'd officially be a nurse. She squinted her eyes when the brightness of the sun almost blinded her. She just wanted to get home and get some sleep before she had her night classes. She had placed all of her focus on the program, the demanding courses providing the perfect distractions she needed so she wouldn't focus on things outside of her control. Namely Jay and how he was doing in Switzerland. _

_She tried to not worry about him but it was much harder done than said. Every free thought of hers went to Jay and how his treatment was going. Will had assured her that the results the doctors in Switzerland had been getting from Jay were more than promising and they were more than confident that Jay would make a full recovery but it was one thing to hear it and another to actually see it for herself. _

_She missed him. She missed talking to him, missed having someone that understood her completely and that was Jay. She wanted to see him. If only she could just ditch her program and fly out to see him but she knew she couldn't. So she'd just have to suck it up and drown her sorrows of missing the love of her life in ice-cream like all the other lovesick people out there. _

_She was just about to reach her car when she suddenly stopped in her tracks, unable to believe what she was currently seeing. Her eyes must've been playing tricks on her because there was no way that Jay was standing right in front of her, healthy and handsome as ever. Actually, he looked even more handsome than she remembered. She remained standing there in the parking lot of the school like an idiot, blinking her eyes rapidly thinking that this mirage of Jay would go away and prove to be just a figment of her imagination, conjured by her overwhelming longing for her husband._

"_Aren't you going to greet your husband?" Jay smirked, knowing that she was caught off guard by his unexpected appearance. And just like that Erin broke out of her daze and broke out in a run, dropping everything she was holding, not giving a damn about her things. She ran as fast as her legs took her, Jay waiting with open arms, ready to hold her up as she jumped onto him, legs locking around his waist. His arms securely held her up, Erin's arms going around his neck, their eyes taking each other in, not having seen each other in so long._

"_You're really here!" Erin breathed out, just complete surprise and happiness coloring her voice. "It's you." She cupped his jaw, her fingers roaming all over his face, like she needed the touch to make sure that he was real. That he was here._

"_I'm here," Jay confirmed, face splitting into the biggest grin she had ever seen on him. He somehow had the strength to hold her up with one arm because the other came up to tangled his fingers in her hair, bringing her face even closer to his. "God, I missed you!" He connected their lips together, the kiss hard and almost bruising. She held his head in place, keeping his lips on hers as she deepened the kiss. Everything else just fell to the wayside, both of them just completely consumed and caught up in each other. They didn't give a damn that they were in the parking lot, Erin's legs around him, just making out like a couple of teenagers. Erin didn't care if they had an audience or that her classmates could easily see her like this. The only thing she saw was Jay. The only person she cared about was Jay. _

"_What are you doing here?" she managed to get the question out in between peppering his face with kisses, giddiness in her action. Jay was just as giddy, just as happy as she was, his arms still wound tightly around her. "I thought you were going to be in Switzerland for a couple of more months." Will had told her that while Jay was making progress, he needed to stay longer than expected. _

"_I wanted to surprise you," Jay told her, meeting her lips again. "So I asked Will to throw you off the track." She smacked his chest lightly at being tricked, giving him a pout so uncharacteristic from normal Erin. But she was so happy right now that she didn't even know how to act, just letting herself come to terms that she was actually holding Jay in her arms. She dreamt of this moment for so long and she felt like she was still dreaming. _

"_You're okay?" she asked, her hands scanning his body to make sure he was really fine. "You've fully recovered?" Jay just nodded, letting her just explore his body until she could be sure that Jay was completely out of the woods, his body and mind had made a full recovery. _

"_I'm great babe," Jay told her. "I'm better than ever now that I'm here, holding you." She smiled, leaning into kiss him again. They let themselves indulge in the taste of each other, let themselves get lost in the moment before pulling apart, foreheads resting against each other. Erin motioned for Jay to set her down, knowing that he must've been getting tired of holding her up. He complied, setting her feet down gently on the grounds, his arms not traveling far before finding their home on her hips, holding her close again. _

"_I'm so happy you're here. I've missed you so much." _

"_I've missed you like crazy too Erin," Jay replied, burying his face in her neck, just inhaling her sweet scent that he had missed so much. "Like you wouldn't believe." _

"_I was so worried," Erin whispered, turning her head slightly so she could kiss the top of Jay's head. "I was so worried that you wouldn't recover. And that you wouldn't remember who I was." _

_That had been a real possibility, the lead doctor warning Erin with the sobering possibility that Jay could wake up and not have an inkling of who she was. Amnesia was a possible side effect of his injury. _

"_Impossible," Jay breathed into her neck. "I can't ever forget you." He pulled his head up, his hands coming to hold her face so he could gaze into those hazel eyes that he dreamt about for the past six months. "There's no possibility, no scenario that exists where I'd forget who you are and what you mean to me. You're my world Erin and you're everything and I can't ever forget you." _

"_I love you so much Jay," she voiced what she had been dying to say the whole time they had been apart. _

"_I love you too," Jay returned, smiling widely. "So much. And because of that..." He pulled away, taking a step back, Erin wondering what Jay was doing. It wasn't until he took out the familiar looking velvet box out of his pocket and got down on one knee that Erin felt her world shift back into its rightful place. _

"_Jay," she gasped breathily. _

"_Erin," Jay began, opening up the box to show a gorgeous ring inside, the perfect sized diamond resting proudly on a silver band. It was beautiful and the perfect ring Erin had seen in her head when Will first showed her the jewelry box. "You are the love of my life. There wasn't a day that gone by in Switzerland when I didn't think of you. Didn't see your face in my head, pushing me to get better. You were all the motivation I needed because I knew I needed to come back to you. Because we belong together Erin, I know it. I feel it. I've never been happier than I've been being your husband. And I'm hoping that you'll let me stay by your side for the rest of our lives, so I can make you just as happy as you've made me and I can love you the way you deserve to be loved. So Erin Lindsay, will you marry me?" He grinned before adding, "again?" _

_Tears of happiness were streaming down Erin's face as she excitedly nodded her head, agreeing to marry the love of her life. "Yes," Erin could barely managed to get the answer out, too happy to speak properly. Jay took the ring out of the box and slipped the ring on her finger, where it belonged and would always belong before jumping up and crashing his lips on hers. _

"_I know this wasn't the most romantic place or way to propose but I couldn't wait a minute longer. We may already be married but this? This is forever." _

"_This is the perfect way to propose Jay. All I need is you. That's all I need to make it perfect." _

"_God, I love you so much," Jay whispered, thumbing over her dimples, Erin unable to stop herself from smiling. _

"_I love you too," Erin returned before adding on a nickname she knew Jay would love. "Hubby." It had the desired effect as Jay's already smiling face somehow managed to smile even wider before their lips met again. _

* * *

_Neither Jay nor Erin wanted to wait to make their marriage even more official, both of them deciding on a small ceremony with just the closest people in attendance. Mouse had generously offered his garden, after Jay had mentioned just how much Erin had loved the spot and the beautiful memories they had made there. So just two weeks after Jay proposed, the ceremony took place. _

"_So I'm confused. Is this a wedding ceremony or a vow renewal ceremony? Because you know you and Erin are already married." _

_Jay rolled his eyes at Will. "Remind me again why I made you my best man." Will let out an indignant sound._

"_Because I'm your only brother and you love me. And because I was pretty much the reason why you and Erin even got married in the first place so it's only appropriate that I'm your best man." Will replied smugly, getting closer to help Jay with his tie. "You still haven't answered my question." Jay gave him a confused look. "Is it a wedding ceremony or a vow renewal?" _

_Jay thought over the answer. "Both, I guess," he finally replied. "You know why me and Erin got married in the first place. It wasn't for the most conventional reason." Will snorted, knowing full well just why his brother married Erin. "But this time, we're getting married because we love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together and for some reason, Erin insisted on having you guys there. I was more than happy to elope, get married just the two of us on a beach somewhere and jump right into our honeymoon." Will who was helping with Jay's tie 'accidentally' tied it too tight, choking his brother and leaving Jay coughing._

"_Oops," Will offered, sounding not the least bit sorry. _

_Jay glared at him. "You're trying to kill me on the happiest day of my life," Jay muttered before the two brothers broke out in laughter. Jay took a breath, settling himself down and turning to look at himself in the mirror. "What do you think?" _

"_You look great!" Will replied genuinely, the two brothers' eyes meeting in the mirror. "Thank you for having me a part of your wedding."_

"_You're my family," Jay returned, the fact that Will would be the only family in attendance remained unspoken. Will didn't bring up the absence of invitation for their father and Jay was more than grateful, not wanting to bring up the topic of his father today. _

_When Jay had regained consciousness in Switzerland three months into the experimental treatment, he quickly found out that it was his father's effort that had gotten him the special care Jay needed to make a full recovery. Safe to say Jay had been surprised that his father cared enough to actually help Jay. The recovery process had been difficult and tedious but Jay had been determined to make a full recovery and make his way back to Erin, knowing she was waiting for him back home. He hadn't been able to see her while he was in Switzerland— he hadn't been able to see anyone— but a few times that he did manage to talk with Will over the phone, his brother had filled him in on how Erin was doing. Will had stepped in and enrolled Erin into the nursing program— Erin had refused at first but Will made the point that he owed her this and he wasn't one to go back on his deal. So Erin had accepted and it took more convincing from Will for Erin to accept the apartment he had got for her near the school— Erin not feeling comfortable living in Jay's penthouse without him being there. Jay had thanked Will for taking care of Erin when he couldn't, his brother brushing it off by claiming that Erin was family. And that they needed all the family they could get. After all, both of their relationships with their father was strained, Jay and Pat forming a tentative truce as Jay recovered._

_And that was all the progress they had made. They certainly hadn't fix their relationship enough to the point of Jay feeling comfortable inviting his father to his wedding so he didn't. He wanted the day to go perfectly and it was better that it was just people that cared about both of them and that it was people that wished them well. _

"_Ready to get married? Or married again, I should say." Jay nodded, ready to take his place at the altar and marry the love of his life. _

_Jay felt his breath being taken away as he watched Erin made her way down the aisle towards him— she was looking like a vision in white, absolutely breathtaking in her wedding gown. He sucked in his tears, not wanting to start bawling like a baby already at seeing her. Before he knew it, Erin was standing in front of him, looking even more beautiful upclose. _

"_I love you," he mouthed silently at her, Erin returning the sentiment the same way. Jay heard the priest start his speech but all he could focus on was Erin. Then it was time for them to share the vows they wrote personally. _

"_Jay," Erin started, holding his hands in hers. "We weren't supposed to be here. You and me from two completely different worlds. Yet somehow we found each other and here we are. You made me understand that no matter how hard life can get, it can be even more beautiful because it led me to you. Everything we've been through, it is all worth it because I'm standing here in front of you promising to love you for the rest of my life. I vow to love you the way you deserved to be loved, to always be honest with you and I vow to never let you go." Erin finished her vow by sliding the wedding band on his fingers. _

_Jay cleared his throat, trying to steady his voice that he knew would be shaky from trying to hold back his tears. "Erin," he took a deep breath, his voice trembling. "When we started, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I thought I knew but I really didn't. Because I never thought that I'd find something this beautiful, this precious, something this real. Erin, you, me, us, it's the realest thing in my life. You're right, we weren't supposed to be here. But I am grateful to whatever that led us here. Fate or destiny, we were meant to be and I will spend the rest of my life working to deserve you. I vow to love you with everything I have, to spend every day showing you just how much I cherish you. I vow to do everything I can to come home to you every day until we take our last breaths when we're old and gray." Jay was no longer able to hold in his tears as he slipped the wedding band on Erin's finger, right above her engagement ring. "I love you." _

_He couldn't wait for the priest's permission to kiss the bride, pulling Erin into his arms and dipping her so he can kiss her properly as true husband and wife— married to each other for all the right reasons. She smiled into the kiss and all the loud cheers from his guests and hers behind them faded into the background, the newlyweds too focused on each other to pay attention to anything else. _

* * *

Jay played with the wedding band on Erin's finger, twisting the metal band around. "I'll make it back to you everyday."

"I know you will," Erin replied. "I just worry about you."

"Yeah I know. But you don't have to. I'm really okay. Although," he teased, a sly grin coming on his face. "I do plan on milking this cut for all it's worth. After all, I do need my own personal sexy nurse to take care of me."

She chuckled. "Well, it'll be awhile before I'm going to be putting on any sort of sexy nurse costume," Erin retorted. "Not until I popped out this little guy." Erin added, her hand going to her stomach to cradle the pregnant belly. As usual whenever Erin would mention their son that was growing inside her belly, the dopey smile would find its way onto Jay's face.

"Eh it'll be worth the wait," Jay said, joining her hands with his on her stomach. "How you doing buddy? It's me your daddy," he spoke into the belly, completely believing that the little guy in there could hear and understand everything he was saying. "I can't wait to meet you."

Erin smiled, her heart swelling at just how great of a dad Jay was being, even before their son was born. He was over the moon ecstatic when she told him that she was pregnant. And there was no word to capture just how happy he was when the doctor told them that they'd be having a healthy baby boy. But no matter how many times Jay had spoken into her stomach like he was having an actual conversation with the baby, Erin could never get tired of it.

Jay was still murmuring something into her stomach, his voice too low for Erin to hear the words. She ran her fingers through his hair, her love growing even more for her husband. "Alright, I do have to get back to work." Jay looked up and nodded but not before he pulled up her scrubs until her bare belly came into view and he laid the gentlest kiss on it, saying goodbye for now to the baby until they both got home.

"Alright, I have to get back too. Voight's probably wondering what's taking me so long." Jay stood up and pecked Erin. "I'll see you at home," he said, kissing her forehead. "But babe, if you're tired or if your feet are killing you like usual, please take a breath. Take it easy."

Erin nodded, knowing Jay was even more protective of her now than he was before. After all, she was carrying their most precious cargo in her belly. "Okay, Love you." She kissed his cheeks and waved as he left, her hands returning to her belly. "Your daddy is the best isn't he? We're so lucky to have him baby."

* * *

Despite researching, learning and reading all the books that had to do with giving birth, Erin quickly realized that you can read, listen and watch everything that was associated with labor but going into labor for real was a whole nother ball game. So when her water broke a couple of nights before her due date, Jay had calmed her panicked self down and grabbed the bag they packed ready to go and drove her to the hospital.

"We're going to get to meet him soon," Jay voiced, excitement clear in his voice as he sat by Erin's bedside. The contractions were growing closer together and Erin dreaded the next round of contractions to hit, the pain too much for her to handle. Jay had graciously offered his hand for her to squeeze whenever the contractions hit and poor Jay almost had all of his bones in his hand broken as Erin took full advantage of his offer. But Jay's bones would survive the ordeal because before they knew it, the little life that they had created together came into the world, all pink and perfect, bundled up in a small blue blanket, ready for the new parents to admire and fall in love with him.

"He's absolutely perfect," Jay voiced, his finger feeling the smoothest skin he had ever felt as he stood next to Erin holding their son in her arms. "Like his mom," he added, kissing her damp forehead. Even after going through labor, she was still absolutely gorgeous to him. "You're beautiful."

Erin scoffed. "I just went through labor. I look like a mess."

Jay brought his arm around his wife, pulling her to his chest. "You look beautiful. Absolutely perfect." He could repeat it forever because it was true.

It was the most amazing moment of his life, having his wife and his newborn son so close to him, both of them tired but glowing with pure happiness while they watched their son sleep. It was almost too perfect to be interrupted but soon enough, knocks came through the door, their loved ones unable to wait any longer to join in on the happiness.

Soon enough Erin's hospital suite was filled with their family and friends, all clamoring over the baby, cooing at the newborn about how cute he was and how lucky he was that he got his looks from Erin instead of Jay, which Jay would begrudgingly admit.

"So what are we calling the little guy?" Will asked as he played with the baby's tiny fingers, Will uncharacteristically making baby noises.

Jay and Erin exchanged a look before answering. "We've decided on the name awhile ago so everyone, meet Evan Halstead."

Will glanced up to look at Jay upon hearing the name. "You named him after mom?" Jay nodded. It had been Erin's suggestion. They were laying in bed, his head on her growing belly as they volleyed potential baby names with each other. They were having a hard time deciding, one liking a certain name that the other would dislike. It wasn't until Erin suggested 'Evan' that piqued his interest. Her explanation of how she thought of it because his mother's name had been Evelyn only solidified the choice. Jay didn't think it was possible but he loved her even more in that moment, knowing that she suggested the name because she understood just how much his mother meant to him.

"Evan Halstead," Will called out, the baby turning to him as if he understood that it was his name, everyone in the room — Kim, Mouse and all of Intelligence team— laughing and cheering, the happiness in the room overflowing.

* * *

It was nice to have their loved ones joined in on the celebration but the new parents were happy to have the moment of peace and quiet to themselves so they can bask in the glow of their new bundle of joy. Erin was exhausted but for some reason she couldn't take her eyes off of Evan, her baby too precious and too beautiful. Jay had been sitting in the chair next to the bed, also unable to stop looking at his son.

"I can't believe we made him," Jay said, counting all of his son's perfect little toes and perfect little fingers. "Have I mentioned just how perfect he is?"

"Only a couple hundred times," Erin shot back, rolling her eyes. "But I agree. He's perfect and he's ours."

Their peaceful moment as a family of three was interrupted when they heard knocks on the door, their eyes widening when they saw Pat standing outside, a nervous look on his face. Jay immediately stood up, like he was protecting his family from his father. "What are you doing here?"

Pat looked like he was lost for words, his eyes focused on the baby that Erin held in her arms. "I...ummm...I heard that Erin went into labor and I wanted to meet my grandson." Jay arched his eyebrows. "That is if you'll let me son."

Jay looked back at Erin, wondering what to do. Erin nodded slowly, letting Jay know that the decision was up to him. "I didn't think you'd care," Jay said to his father.

Pat nodded back, understanding why Jay thought that way. "I know I've made my share of mistakes. More than my share really. But you're right Jay. When you said that I'd wake up one day and realize that I'm alone. I finally realized it and it's….it's not a good feeling, being lonely. I realized that I've cared about all the wrong things in my life and neglected the most important thing— my family." Pat said, genuinely remorseful. "I can't begin to make amends so I can only apologize. I'm sorry son, for not being the father you deserved."

"What brought on this epiphany?" Jay questioned, still skeptical of the sudden change in his father.

"I saw you laying in a hospital bed, unconscious," Pat replied. "And I realized that if you had died that day, the last thing we'd have said to each other was about how we were no longer father and son, not important thing like how much I do love you. I've been a stubborn idiot. Even though I knew I made a mistake, I was still too proud to apologize. Until now." Pat took a step closer. "I know it might be too late but I'm sorry Jay." He turned to Erin. "I'm sorry to you too Erin. I was out of line and I was beyond rude to you and you didn't deserve any of it, not when you made my son happier than I've ever seen him."

Erin nodded, accepting his apology. Perhaps it was because she was still feeling the after effects of labor or because she was a new mother and realized that there were more important things in life than holding onto grudges but the reason didn't matter. She was ready to forgive and move on. And judging by the less guarded stance of Jay, it seemed as though her husband was ready to do the same.

"You want to hold him?" Erin offered, Pat nodding immediately, not expecting the offer. She handed the baby over to his grandfather gently, Pat holding the baby carefully in his arms, immediately bouncing on his feet.

"He's gorgeous," Pat said, a genuine smile that Jay rarely saw on his face. "What's his name?"

"Evan." Pat's head snapped up at the name before he nodded, the smile returning to his face.

"She'll be so proud of you Jay," his father said, Jay's eyes watering at the compliment. "You've turned out to be a great man. That's all her and that's all you."

"Thank you," Jay said. Pat handed Evan back over to Erin, giving his daughter in law a nod. Jay held out his hand and Pat shook it. Everything wouldn't be healed with one interaction, years and years of hurt and pain too strong but it was a start.

* * *

"Home sweet home," Jay exclaimed as they stepped into their penthouse as a family of three for the first time, Evan sleeping happily in his car seat.

"I'm so glad to be home," Erin said, placing the car seat gently on the couch, softly sitting down next to it, Jay taking the seat next to her, his arm going around her.

"We're going to be so exhausted for the next couple of months," Jay told her, playing with her hair softly.

"Hmm, already regretting it Halstead?" Erin teased. Jay immediately shook his head, sitting up.

"No," he replied. "Never." Erin gave him a smile, leaning in to meet his lips for a quick peek but Jay held her in place, deepening the kiss. "This is everything I've ever wanted," he said, "Thank you for making all my dreams come true."

Erin smiled, gazing into his eyes. She could look at him forever and she'd never tired of looking at him, of loving him. He was the best thing that ever happened to her. _Well, second best_, she corrected as Evan stirred and started babbling. But Jay had given her the best thing in her life so she guessed it was all the same.

"I love you," Erin said, kissing Jay's lips. "I love our son," she kissed him again. "And I love our family." One more kiss.

"I love you even more," Jay replied, landing one more kiss. "Come on, the baby's napping and this is the perfect time for us to get some sleep too. Who knows? We might even get lucky and get a whole hour." He picked up Evan as gently as possible so he wouldn't disturb the sleeping baby, ready to carry him to the crib and held his hand out, waiting for Erin to take it. Erin intertwined her hand in his and the three Halsteads retreated to their bedroom, hearts full and ready to continue their fairytale— only this time as a family of three.

* * *

_And they lived happily ever after. The end. At least for this AU. And just like that, I've finished a fanfic for the first time. I feel like I hit a milestone or something lol._

_I've never really written AUs before, always preferring canon but I had fun writing this story so much that I've wanted to continue with another AU so be on the look out for that. _

_Also, I just wanted to say thank you for all the support/reviews/favorites/follows for this story. I was blown away that you guys seem to like it. Like I said, this is my first AU so I was pretty nervous about posting it but thank you all, really._


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